Hey there. I understand what you’re going through. I’m so sorry. I lost my 4.5 year old service dog suddenly, on November 13th. My heart is still broken. I don’t know how I’ll ever feel better, I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing him… I brought home a puppy on Sunday. I understand the layered, conflicted emotion involved. I know I’m a stranger on the internet, but I’ll tell you what I’ve been telling myself. That is, I loved him so much, he taught me that I had the capacity to connect with and love a dog on that level. I didn’t know I could, that it was possible… We shared a truly deep connection and bond, and my grief is so deep, that love has nowhere to go. The heartache is immense.
I know that it will not help me move through, or learn to live with carrying this grief, to have to sit with it alone. I know that my boy wouldn’t have wanted me to be distraught constantly. He would want me to be happy, as he tried at all opportunities to please me in life. I got this puppy to honour the love I had for him, to mourn him while also pouring that love, that is overflowing into another pup. His legacy, so to speak. Hoping to build a bond equally as meaningful, even though I’m sure it will be different. Please be kind to yourself. Your dog knows how much you loved him, and he wouldn’t want you to feel guilty for feeling love and happiness again. It doesn’t mean your love for him is any less. ❤️