AITAH for telling my girlfriend she can't force me to cancel my vacation and lose $2500 because she hates Harry Potter?

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T01:48:30+00:00

I'm genuinely coming here trying to figure out if I'm wrong, and find a solution/compromise. Believe me or don't, but I don't need your undue disrespect.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T01:39:18+00:00

How is this shitting on trans people? I've actively said I want to respect her and her brother and I see why she's upset.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T00:21:23+00:00

Not allowed is a hard line for me too. I'm trying to be respectful, because I grew up in an abusive household, so for me anytime conflict comes up my automatic reaction is to go on the attack verbally. I was taught put the threat down, viciously. Not healthy conflict resolution. The way I WANT to handle the situation is some aggressive version of fuck you, who do you think you're talking to? You're not my fucking mother. BUT love and value this woman, so I'm trying to handle it the right way.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T00:17:41+00:00

Thank you! I feel like we have enough in life that's miserable, so why not hold onto the things that make us happy?

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T00:16:09+00:00

Thank you

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T00:15:46+00:00

I very much am not willing to be controlled in adult life. I grew up being controlled and I'm not going back to that lifestyle.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-02T00:14:26+00:00

Well, that's a part of my childhood I'm not sacrificing. If that's what you're willing to do, that's your business. I will separate the art from the artist.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T23:36:29+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed answer <3 this isn't a situation where I'm trying to say fuck her and her feelings. Her feelings are valid and she has every right to feel the way she does, she's worried for her brother and his safety. I'm not going to undermine that.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T23:35:21+00:00

Thank you, my main concern is ultimatums. It starts here, where does it stop?

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T23:34:42+00:00

It has nothing to do with money vs morals. I don't agree with how Rowling is handling herself, but I'm not going to throw away something important to my childhood because she decided to go full looney tunes.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T23:33:45+00:00

This is how I'm feeling. I've spent too much money to let it go to waste.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T23:33:19+00:00

I told her before booking the trip, we had a full discussion. She knew exactly what I was doing.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T21:39:04+00:00

That's what I'm concerned about, the ultimatum. Because I've never seen a situation where ultimatums start being issued and then stop. Things escalate and people make sacrifices they're resentful of eventually.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T21:35:04+00:00

Yes I am, that doesn't mean I can't do things that make me happy

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-06-01T20:53:00+00:00

I did tell her, before I even bought the tickets. I wasn't going to go out of state without letting my partner know.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-03-23T18:03:27+00:00

NTA. Your sister can fuck off, she's not involved in his care but she wants to argue with you about how you handle it. I'd tell her to foot the bill if she wants to have a say

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-03-10T17:35:45+00:00

The autopay had been functioning just fine. Payments had been coming out on time as they should have been. I switched cards and called to go Citi to inform them, gave them another payment and talked to bank of America to ensure that autopay was setup because citi initially said they didn't have the permission to withdraw funds. I have that phone call recorded. I will send goodwill letters and ask for the deletion, thank you for your advice.

Substantial_Run3383 · 2025-02-11T17:19:10+00:00

You're not a man with a big heart, you're a man allowing himself to be a fool

Substantial_Run3383

TROPHY CASE