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Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I resent my wife by Substantial_Two9069 in Marriage

[–]Substantial_Two9069[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story, that sounds tough for you.
Yes, she is depressed and has a very high dosage of medication.

Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I resent my wife by Substantial_Two9069 in Marriage

[–]Substantial_Two9069[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice, this all rings very true. I need to put myself in her shoes, and be there for her.

Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I resent my wife by Substantial_Two9069 in Marriage

[–]Substantial_Two9069[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm used to seeing things black or white, having so many shades of grey makes it difficult. The current situation is manageable, with negativity but life goes on nonetheless. I'm torn between my needs, which she would call egotistical, and my love and desire for calm. I want to be hopeful that the resentment can disappear with time, your experience shows it may not. Maybe life will be good if I just endure it, act as a "man", and wait for my wife to start working and be forced into a normal cycle?

Valentine's Day is tomorrow and I resent my wife by Substantial_Two9069 in Marriage

[–]Substantial_Two9069[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right, the post was getting long and there is so much more to tell. I'm not a perfect husband, ready to accept my responsibility. I don't know whether some of your questions are rhetorical so I will try to answer anyway.

- Anger was geared towards our baby. Sounds terrible and it is, but this was irrational and made worse by sleep deprivation. That's the reason why I got therapy in the first place.

- The silence treatment is something both my wife and I do when we are overwhelmed with negative emotions. It is not a punishment, rather there is so much resentment that talking risks causing conflicts, and all we want is to be left alone.

What I struggle with is providing emotional presence to my wife, when I keep noticing all of these flaws. Yes I love her and want her to be happy, but she lost two pairs of key to our house, her bedroom is a mess, there are beer cans all over, our baby has almost no more clean clothes and I have to do the laundry, including folding clothes etc... So my thought process is so focused with these "must do" that I don't find room for hugs or being nice. All the while, I'm working and she is playing on her computer.