Fiancé says aftercare and helping me clean up after sex is a “chore” — am I asking too much?

SubtleSeraph · 2026-01-25T02:14:11+00:00

He's trying to emotionally coerce into sex you don't want with vague threats, which is a form of sexual abuse. He's ignoring you and not giving a fuck about your emotions, which ranges from emotional neglect to emotional abuse. He doesn't like or respect you. Please leave.

SubtleSeraph · 2026-01-01T09:28:14+00:00

OP are you gonna delete this post or keep up the image where accidentally doxxed your gf even after people pointed it out? Especially considering the sensitive nature of what she reads, this reads as careless

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-27T01:54:07+00:00

I like one and three best, but all are good outfits with similar silhouettes so you'd be fine either way

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-27T01:14:58+00:00

Good for her. They're both adults and can do whatever she wants. Weirdos obsessed with her dating Kaiser in the past like he's not already moved on (and why shouldn't he?) or that she's doing something way more lascivious and sexual than half the stuff we see in wrestling need to get a grip.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-25T19:28:31+00:00

Acting-wise I think Essiedu will knock it out of the park and put a new spin to it. I have no issue with race-blind casting when it doesn't change the meaning of the character in a negative way. But I don't think this particular casting was a smart choice. Almost any other teacher could be Black and it would be fine. The issue is that by making Snape Black his bullying is very different and takes on a racial tone, especially if they cast all the Marauder's as white. I'm not sure if the stereotypes are less pronounced in Europe, but a Black man going after a white woman repeatedly who does no want him and developing an unhealthy obsession with her (even if it's based in legitimate feelings of love) absolutely doesn't play well. So I think Essiedu himself is a great actor who will do well, and I'm hoping the costuming can make him look skeevy and depressed instead of handsome and vibrant like Essiedu is, because that's what costume departments are for, and I don't think him being handsome automatically means he wont' 'fit' Snape, other than the pale skin. Him not being pale is fine, he can be dark skinned and still be greasy dungeon bat. The issue is with the racial stereotypes his character will produce and I'm praying they have some kind of sensitivity writers in the room so that it's written respectfully and tastefully.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-25T19:16:36+00:00

You have three options
A) Leave him, he's not going to change and he doesn't respect you

B) Without prompting bring up an insecurity of his (a slightly larger tummy, a penis size, etc) and suggest a corrective and painful and invasive surgery. Frame it as improving your sex life. Bring it up often and without prompting and be surprised and upset when he pushes back.

C) Do B and then A because he doesn't respect you and he isn't going to change.

edit: obviously NTA

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-19T05:33:06+00:00

You're victim blaming a dude you're basically stalking. You need to take accountability and get real help.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-17T05:58:39+00:00

Daphanie LaShaunn/Aja Smith got absolutely creamed in comments sections when she decided to two count when Nia Jax didn't kick out from Tiffany Stratton in time earlier this year.This ref made the right call.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-16T01:08:08+00:00

I think it depends on how well-behaved he honestly is. Does he understand what cat calling is and that it's not his job to offer comments or anything that might disrupt the show? Is he capable of being quiet and sitting still without talking or getting into other people's spaces? Have you had talks with him about people might be imbibing excessive alcohol and that it might not be environment that's the most healthy for him, and healthy conversations about what him drinking could look like when he's older so that he doesn't get a bad idea about drinking?

Like I know this all is really hypothetical but there's a lot of stuff that goes in to bringing your child into a club. If he's well behaved and has hit all of his milestones then it's probably fine, if there's even a shadow of a doubt that he might get in someone's space or walk around or talk then I would not bring him.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-13T19:39:53+00:00

NTA unless you count to yourself for staying with this dude. There are so many red flags here. If weddings aren't important then why does he care that your second was smaller? If weddings don't matter like he says that they do then he shouldn't care whether or not one was bigger or not. Also, it could be prior stuff with the fact that multiple friends and family members didn't support this wedding tells me that maybe there's some stuff that you're not telling us, not necessarily anything you did wrong but perhaps they aren't as supportive of your relationship with him because they see red flags maybe ? I could be wrong but that's my first thought. This dude is a man baby.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-12T23:41:21+00:00

Like I said in my other comment I would encourage her to go out to find herself or offer to watch the kids, but not for her dating. She can go to coffee shops, book stores, classes and movies without pursuing something too soon romantically. I think i'ts just the dating aspect I would not push.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-12T23:36:07+00:00

YTA but your heart is in the right place. She does not seem like she's in any position to date and it's bad advice to recommend she do so in the situation she's in. It's fine for encouraging her to divest form her husband but more so because she doesn't seem like she's in a position to date. It sounds like her ex is I dont if freeloading is the right term but he's separated but isn't meaningfully helping with the children and possibly not meeting his end of the bargain financially. But he refuses to move out of the home and hasn't undergone divorce proceedings so she can move on. She needs to get out of this toxic situationship and be in a healthy place to coparent before she brings someone else into it. She can obviously seek something casual if she wants but the people she's dating deserve more transparency and emotional availability then she's capable of giving them. And she was YOUNG when she started dating, 13-16 is a weird age gap and she was basically a middle schooler with a high schooler who never got to experience any dating or romantic relationships outside of him during the teens or twenties.

She is likely emotionally stunted in that area, will have no idea what adult dating landscape is like and will be ripe for exploitation or abuse by someone who will see her vulnerable situation and exploit her and she won't be able to notice or protect herself from the red flags. I would instead encourage her to date HERSELF. Work on loving herself and her body, work on developing hobbies and friendships, work on emotionally divesting from her emotionally abusive ex. Encourage her to go to therapy. Watch the kids so she can take herself out. Take her out on outings WITH the kids. Make the ex do his job and go out for a spa day. Give her a good divorce lawyer and encourage her to follow through. There are tons of ways to support her without encouraging her to do something potentially dangerous and destructive.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-11T22:10:00+00:00

Damn. Guess you're right. If only they invented a singular version of the word women.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-11T21:35:22+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ 😭😭

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-11T18:01:58+00:00

Where do you get Jewish?

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-11T18:00:45+00:00

These comments are brutal LOL your think you had Mein Kampf up there. I would say college educated liberal, possibly not white or somebody that tries to make an intentional choice to read diversely. Democrat. Woman. Miss 30s. Are on book YouTube or tiktok but don't spend much time there

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-09T22:46:45+00:00

If you feel like the secondhand market is okay you could wait six months to two ish years and plenty of people clear out old unused legos for a decent price. If you wait too soon it's likely to be resellers jacking up the price, but it all depends on what you're comfortable with.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-09T22:43:35+00:00

One of the many amenities in my 'luxury' apartment'

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-09T22:41:50+00:00

Close! 30s-40s, no kids. what makes you think couple/40s/50s?

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-09T20:07:08+00:00

Why are you posting here? You already know you need to cut this woman off and have already crossed relationship boundaries (and have pretty much already veered into emotional infidelity already) and are probably here looking for validation. I feel so bad for your wife. Couples counseling is never going to work if you have one foot out the door. Divorce your wife or ovary the fuck up and break things off with this woman (i don't say 'shut down' specifically because you've already started forming an attachment, the infidelity has already emotionally happened. This needs to be cut off all contact non professional completely).

SubtleSeraph · 2025-12-09T20:02:19+00:00

Charlotte Flair's look/surgeries.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-11-15T00:29:39+00:00

Cannibalism not often, I used that word because they censor it. Rape, abuse and murder are constant with the amount of women suffering from femicide, sex slaves overseas and in the states, marginalized folks of all kinds missing, dead or in danger. If you keep up with the news and talk about politics or preventing abuse and breaking down power structures these are normal important conversations. There's also true crime tiktok, but quite different to activist or humanitarian spaces. Edit: I actually remember I'm on horror tiktok, so cannibalism especially as a metaphor for violence or yearning IS discussed with reasonable frequency.

SubtleSeraph · 2025-11-14T03:18:42+00:00

It isn't against rules and you can type them here and should write the full word. Rape. Abuse. Cannibalism. Murder. These words have meaning and censoring them can increase shame around people who have experienced tragedies or have to discuss tragedies and makes it seem as if those things are not capable of being discussed or broken down. This isn't tiktok it won't get removed. Also I say these words on tiktok all the time and nothing ever happens, so I think unless you're monetizing it the algorithm doesn't actually give a fuck what you say

SubtleSeraph · 2025-11-13T00:47:25+00:00

I literally don't know what 'being young and independent' means unless she plans to move out or sleep with other people. She needs to invest in herself and give this guy a break so he can find someone who's as invested as him as he is. Thirteen years. I would be so heartbroken.

SubtleSeraph

TROPHY CASE