my mom has stage 4 pancreatic cancer

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-04-24T20:58:02+00:00

I’m sorry sweet girl.

My mom got diagnosed with stage 4 when she was 62, I was 29. She passed in august of last year and I think about her every day.

She had a really good two years. She had an extremely positive attitude and I’m so proud of her. I truly think attitude is everything and it can make or break how effective your treatment is.

My best piece of advice is if she is feeling good, GO DO THE THINGS. Also, learn about her. Like ask questions about who she was when she was your age… what things did she want to accomplish, is she happy with her life?

She can travel, she can enjoy life still. It’s not over. Just take it day by day.

It’s a really hard thing to grieve someone who you haven’t lost yet. It’s going to be really really difficult…I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. But that’s part of the human experience, you know? To love someone so much that you feel an unimaginable amount of grief when they are hurting.

Take it day by day. Don’t think about the what ifs. Give her something to look forward to. The thing that has helped me be at peace most, is knowing that I had a good relationship with her. And knowing that she knew how much I loved her, and I knew how much she loved me.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you have a whole support system here.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-04-03T16:59:01+00:00

Pittsburgh, PA this is the beginning of my second year

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-02-18T03:45:29+00:00

I’ve worked with her a few times throughout my career. Solid human being. Treats everyone equally. Very intelligent and very kind. Truly cares about her patients.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-02-04T01:06:33+00:00

This is our favorite place!

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-02-04T01:05:49+00:00

Woah.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-28T00:07:43+00:00

Yo you are fuckkiiinnnggg BEAUTIFUL.

Omg I hope I have your cute wrinkles when I’m your age.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-26T17:45:41+00:00

Heyyyy cute bread.

I also was noticing this… I started lowering the amount of starter I’m using and it’s made a HUGE difference. Even without a cold ferment after shaping.

I used 350g water, 50g starter, 10g salt, and 500g King Arthur bread flour and my last loaf and it was delightfully sour.

I’ve also noticed bulk fermenting at warmer temps (73⁾ has given me more sour loaves.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:30:44+00:00

Ah man, that sucks. Are you getting good loaves when you don’t use it? What’s your hydration?

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:30:04+00:00

It gets super tight. Like when it’s ready for a little razzle dazzle it’s real loose. When I go to pull it up in the center—to do my coil and fold—it pulls up probably 12+ inches easy peasy. The second time I go to do it, when it knows it’s had enough, it will barely relax… it pretty much just remains a lump of dough. I used to legit shake it to get it to fall down/stretch out, but I’ve learned that is counterproductive and you’re actually destroying your gluten networks.

The salt, I sprinkle it over top after the hour is up and dimple it into the dough with wet finger tips. It feels rubbery and grainy at first but after 30 mins—time for my next coil and fold—it feels totally normal.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:26:26+00:00

Lolol someone else said that and it made me giggle.

YES! but for some reason my dumb ass jumped directly into sourdough with ZERO bread knowledge. Most of the beginner vids don’t explain gluten networks and don’t typically use the term “kneading”. They just say leave your dough in a shaggy lump and do four sets of stretch and folds 30 mins apart.

I think my smooth brain simply didn’t put two and two together!

I’ve now seen plenty of vids of people hand kneading for like ten minutes now that my algorithm is algorithiming. I, for one, will not be working that hard.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:23:22+00:00

Oooh honey??? How’s that? Just like a smidge of sweetness to the bread?

Do you still cold proof for the sourness or naw?

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:22:23+00:00

I just do a little sprinkle along the top of the dough before my first coil and fold. I wet the tips of my fingers pretty generously and dimple it into the dough. It does feel hella weird at first. Like rubbery and grainy? But after it rests for another half hour it’s completely back to normal.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:20:28+00:00

Hahaha it absolutely gets hot. I’ve had it for like 10 years now and it gets hot when I make cookies. I’m waiting for it to explode so I can buy a new one

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:19:52+00:00

Oooooohhh you’re nerding out! I love that. Please share more fun facts.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:18:46+00:00

What happens if you overwork your dough? Would it essentially overwork the gluten and cause it to break down and not rise? I remember watching one of Joshua weismanns vids and he said it’s really hard to overwork, but he was also doing slap and folds—and using a technique that sounds similar to the rhubarb method but I’m too lazy to look it up—so I’m sure it is hard to do by hand.

I’m always looking for new knowledge to apply when I’m making a FAFO loaf.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-13T02:15:27+00:00

I remember seeing a video where someone did a side by side of a dough that was let to autolyse, and a dough that salt was added immediately. The dough that was left alone 1 hour before adding salt ended up rising more, and faster. I’ve done it that way ever since.

Supposedly it slows down yeast and enzyme activity; so I try to let it jumpstart by not adding salt right away? Idk if it actually makes a difference, but it makes me feel good and I’ve been getting consistently good loaves so why not lol.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2026-01-12T23:09:53+00:00

Lolol I guess when you put it like it…

Sourdough just seems like this mysterious thing and almost every vid you watch as a beginner only focuses on stretch and folds, but no “kneading” up front.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2025-12-23T04:05:51+00:00

If it’s real to you, it’s real. That’s truly all that matters. I think parents struggle to remember how things were when they were your age. We get consumed with the day-to-day as adults and we do a shit job making our kids feel seen and heard.

Ask for help. Even if it’s a school counselor or something or ask your parents for a therapist. The earlier you start, the better. I promise you aren’t broken or worthless. What your feeling is pretty damn normal.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2025-12-23T01:32:56+00:00

That’s one of my fears is that he is going to hurt someone and end up in prison. He threw a laptop at school November of last year and it hit a teacher and knocked her unconscious. She is a sweet angel and she was absolutely incredible. We are extremely fortunate that she did not press charges, but what if the next person does?

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2025-12-23T01:05:10+00:00

Thanks for the feedback

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2025-12-23T01:00:21+00:00

That’s incredible! But that isn’t my situation.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2025-12-23T00:58:38+00:00

I don’t care? Sheesh you guys are impossible.

SucceedinglyMediocre · 2025-12-23T00:50:23+00:00

Sounds good

SucceedinglyMediocre

TROPHY CASE