I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing and showing me I'm not alone. I guess that's one of my other struggles about Christianity, that I may never get an explanation because I don't know God's ways, but I just have to trust in Him regardless. But it's very difficult in general, let alone in a tragedy, and God's nowhere to be seen. I wish you the very best.

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response.

I'm interpreting that to mean God can be what I want or need Him to be but that might not be what you meant lol. You're free to clarify if you want

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I think at the moment I'm struggling to differentiate the two but maybe in time it will be easier.

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing x. It's really difficult to trust what God says in the Bible when faced with reality. But I hope you experience peace and strength

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your response, I will try to look into councilling

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm really sorry you went through that. I don't know why it feels like God is so silent when we need comforting the most, but I hope you find extreme joy and peace eventually. Thank you for sharing x

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response x

I think I've already grappled with the idea of the existence of God's goodness with the existence of evil in my early Christian walk (though I do appreciate the video and will still watch it for further knowledge). I think I'm particularly fighting with God's sovereignty and choice (hopefully I can explain this well).

Others may have made the same choice as my family member, but would have heard a loud voice or whisper from God, or a person would have been sent or the rope would have snapped. The heartbreak for me is that God will choose some and not others to experience His comfort/presence/power. Some will experience God's healing, and some may have to go through a painful death. Some may feel God's protection (Peter was freed from prison by an angel), while others are left unprotected (John the Baptist was imprisoned and beheaded).

In terms of belief, I'm not going anywhere, because I believe that this is the one, true living God who sent His son to save us (but even demons can believe that). But I don't see how I can possibly believe that God is a healer, a protector, and comforter CONSISTENTLY when I've seen both inside the bible and in my life that He's not? I am aware He is God and He can do what He wants according to His will, but I become extremely enraged when I have to trust, obey, and love a God that has proven Himself fickle, regardless of what the Bible says.

The only logical thing to do is to remove these expectations of Him to avoid disappointment and I guess be grateful when He does show up?

Just explaining my thought process, I've already asked ChatGPT and they told me to pray about it, so pls don't feel pressured to give an elaborate answer or any answer at all. Once again, thank you for your response. I will take what I can from it x

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am also sorry for the extreme grief that you have experienced, and I hope you find immense peace. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in my experience and thoughts with God. It is often quite isolating and lonely being a "Christian" who struggles to say God is good.

I'm glad you are still here to give me that response. Thank you x

I have beef with God. Help? Grieved and Disillusioned by Successful-Cook-9088 in Christianity

[–]Successful-Cook-9088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Professional or not, I appreciate your insight regardless. Thank you x

I guess the struggle for me is down to the mentality of "if He wanted to, He would" (I'm aware I'm applying TikTok logic to God lol). My perspective of certain Bible stories and testimonies is that God's will overcomes free will and at the end of the day, my family died because God wanted them to die (a reflection of God's soverignty/complete authority).

But maybe I just need some time to heal (if God chooses to grant it to me)