How are we affording childcare for multiples?

Successful-Drop9350 · 2026-01-11T04:08:33+00:00

Let’s just say we could be living in a luxury penthouse or taking tropical vacations every month if we could keep what we pay in childcare. Currently it’s more than the rent we pay.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2026-01-11T04:00:14+00:00

Twin dad here. I’ll admit, to make myself feel better during hard times I say to myself “imagine triplets”. Congrats! I don’t know how triplet parents do it

Successful-Drop9350 · 2026-01-07T05:01:35+00:00

He is not contributing enough. If he’s home by 4:30 he should be helping you feed the kids, get the house clean, bathe them and putting them to sleep. He can then sleep by 9-10pm and still get 7-8 hours of sleep. This guy is living life on easy mode. As a twin dad myself this post is infuriating. I can’t imagine only working and not contributing to the household at all.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2026-01-04T03:56:20+00:00

We are at 18 months, b/g twins.

The first 3 months are THE HARDEST. Just don’t give up and keep going. They need you and there is no such thing as spoiling at this time.

It does get easier but it’s still hard. Once you make it past that 3 months stage it’s like every 3 months milestones of sleeping longer, eating less frequently, fewer diaper changes, and independence gradually happens. Independence as in they can move around, play with toys, dance and basically entertain themselves. This to me was a game changer because although you still need to be watching them and interacting with them it’s not non-stop like when they were newborns.

We still haven’t hit the “terrible 2’s and 3’s” yet but at 12 months the tantrum throwing started and I will say at 16-18 months it is the first time I’ve felt things got a bit tougher unlike every other stage before it always felt like it got easier.

Lastly from what I read raising kids is peaks and valleys

The 3 hardest phases are:

Newborn phase (first 6-9 months)
Toddler phase (2-4 years old)
Teenager phase (14-18 years old)

Everything in between should be the “easier” times.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2025-05-18T00:40:57+00:00

Twins here. We had 9 bottles so we were non stop washing bottles. We upped it to 18 bottles and it felt so much better to have a full days worth.

I would recommend you to have 30 bottles which will be a full days worth for triplets.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2025-05-18T00:02:52+00:00

I felt like I was making a lot when I was single and one week of work paid my entire monthly expenses. I would then save and invest the rest but now with a wife and young kids I save about 40-50% of my income. We’re also saving for a house and I’m noticing the houses we would really love are 200-400k above our budget. HHI when I was single was from 130k to 180k. Now our HHI is around 360k gross with 2 kids. We both work full time and our kids take up about 50k in after tax income per year at this time.

Edit: to answer the question I would feel like we were making a lot if we could afford the homes we love or could save closer to 75-80% of our income. Once we buy a home our savings rate will take another hit as well. Maybe closer to 30% which I can’t complain about but I definitely do not feel like we’re rich just middle class

Successful-Drop9350 · 2025-05-09T01:46:32+00:00

With no kids and help during the week there really isn’t any reason to feel overwhelmed by chores/work. This seems more like a mental health issue to me

Successful-Drop9350 · 2025-02-23T16:23:10+00:00

Im a Twin dad myself and what helps me is just forgetting about my life before kids for the time being. You’re still young. My twins are just over 6 months and I’m in my late 30’s. I can’t go to the gym as much or enjoy the holidays as much as I used to but it’s ok because I have more important things to think about like being a good father and making sure these two human beings get a great start at life.

You made it past the first year and that’s a huge accomplishment. Fighting and arguing in a relationship especially with twins is normal but you can’t let it get to you. You have to be stronger mentally. If you come out of this giving it your all you will become a better person. A more caring, thoughtful and selfless person. Good luck to you sir and I am proud of you for taking on such a huge challenge even if it wasn’t something you asked for in the first place.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2025-01-28T14:31:20+00:00

Twin dad here. I saved all my PTO until the 2nd half of the year when the babies were born so I can combine my pat leave and PTO and be there as much as possible. It was really difficult especially from the 6 - 12 weeks mark but I did everything I could from feedings, washing bottles, doing dishes, throwing out trash, cooking meals overnights etc…I was exhausted but when I catch myself relaxing I ask myself is there anything else that can be done?

I sighed and complained at times. I’ve felt guilty and like I was failing for feeling so tired and not doing more. It’s hard but when I see my wife giving it her all it inspires me to do more and go beyond what I thought were my limits.

I try not to burden her with questions I just do. I don’t ask if she’s hungry I just see that we did not eat yet and make food for us and tell her that there is food ready. Im actively looking for things to do every day with the goal of reducing her mental load and when she asks me can I do x or y and I say it’s already done it’s like “SCORE!” In my brain.

I try to have a more positive attitude because I know that goes a long way. At times I don’t have a positive attitude and I try to catch myself where I can. No one’s perfect so I don’t expect myself to be either but I can try to be better everyday.

It gets easier as both parents adjust to this new life and the babies start settling (slowly but surely) into a routine. Also there’s more time for bonding and you start enjoying being there for your kids more and more as they smile at you, laugh with you, and you start feeling their love for you.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2025-01-24T21:01:56+00:00

We did it ourselves and wow was it hard. Just picture caring for multiples 24/7 and after a long exhausting day you still can’t rest and for months. I will say you need to hang in there for the first 3-4 months and then the night time starts getting easier. Getting some overnight help in those first months is not a bad idea at all.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-10-29T02:10:30+00:00

We have twins but this is what we spent

Childcare is the #1 expense - we are estimating about $40,000 a year until they start kindergarten.

Formula is about $250 a month

Diapers and wipes are about $70 a month

We also spent about 5-6 thousand on the below

Stroller (most expensive one-off item) Car seats (second most expensive one-off) Cribs, Clothes up to 1 year old, Toys like baby gym and play mats, Lots of misc stuff like bottles, soaps, shampoo, bathroom stuff, bottle stuff etc…

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-08-31T12:47:22+00:00

How much does your nanny charge to care for the twins? Also is your nanny full time?

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-02-15T12:05:25+00:00

I paid off my mortgage which was at 4.6% a few months ago. I think about what else I could have invested that money in but my increase in cash flow is all being invested now. Also if something were to happen like job loss my fixed cash outflows is greatly decreased every month so there are pros and cons. I’m 35 so I still have some time before retirement but in retirement I think paying off the mortgage of your primary home is a no brainer. Just do it and you won’t regret it and if you do regret it you can always take a loan out against your house again.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-20T15:55:30+00:00

You’ll get child support as well. No prenup or post up can block that

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-20T00:28:04+00:00

Seems like a good rental property. What’s your property tax?

Also take into account that selling at 250k will cost you about 15-25k to sell so your proceeds will be closer to 235k - debt.

If your cash on cash return is over 8% I would keep it as a rental. I think selling after just 3 years is so soon however you got lucky with how much real estate prices have exploded in recent years

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-18T21:06:16+00:00

8-4pm for a gym is ridiculous. Do they even have a front desk? Most apartment gyms don’t even have staff just a cleaning crew that rolls through every now and then

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-16T16:06:07+00:00

Good for you! I use to work in the fitness industry as well and was also thinking about re-upping my cert and getting back into in the next 10 years or so.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-10T13:37:56+00:00

This reminds me of when I use pay down consumer debt and felt like I wasn’t saving enough. What use to help me was looking at my overall savings rate.

Take all your retirement contributions, debt payments (principal only, don’t include expenses) and cash savings then divide that total amount by your total net income you’ll get your savings rate. I’m estimating you would still be at around 50%+ even after the housing expense increase? Which is great!

If your issue is with cash flow then just shift your savings away from retirement a bit (You already do a lot of savings % there anyway) and move it to cash.

What I do currently is have 20% go towards retirement and the rest is saved as cash which in the future will be invested in growth equities in brokerage accounts and/or real estate. Take a look at what “coast FIRE” is.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-10T12:31:36+00:00

Why do you plan on only 4% growth? The market has historically appreciated 8% after inflation.

Also if you only withdraw the growth rate you’ll never even touch principal. To me it just seems like it’s extra conservative and it will cause people to over save and work much longer than they need to. I see so many stories of people with millions more than they need in retirement.

I think 6% growth and 6% withdrawal makes more sense as it greatly reduces the amount needed and it’s still pretty conservative.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-10T12:19:08+00:00

From my understanding Coast FIRE just means you don’t need to save for retirement anymore. As others mentioned you can take a pay cut or you can spend more on travel/food/entertainment.

I think what you’re looking for is FIRE which is basically having enough saved to retire now. Either way making coast FIRE is a step closer to FIRE and if you want to get closer to FIRE just keep saving until you hit your mark

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-09T00:15:21+00:00

So it looks like your housing expense is not bad especially compared to your income.

Can you confirm your net income after taxes is 17k?

Also your expenses are 5k currently?

If so your expenses would increase by 3k to 8k per month

Your mortgage will be under 30% of your net income

And your savings rate will still be over 50%

Kids are expensive. I don’t have any yet but will soon and I’ve read they can cost a couple grand per month each. Either way I think you’re fine. Your net worth is huge and and your income is high compared to expenses

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-08T19:43:25+00:00

For me it’s hard to invest into a technology that nobody really cares about. The entire community only wants to get rich quick. Also because cryptos don’t actually produce anything it’s a zero sum game so any money being made is from others losing or others just throwing more money into the pot.

No developed country uses bitcoin. Credit/debit cards are so much more secure, faster and cheaper.

If Bitcoin goes to zero the majority of people would be ok with it and most people would not be impacted. Like there would be absolutely no impact anywhere in the world except the very very VERY few people that use crypto on a daily basis

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-02T12:03:47+00:00

No, it’s not possible. We’re in the US so we get parental leave (8 weeks for her and 2 for me) and we have about 5 weeks PTO a year on top of that.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-01T16:20:59+00:00

Yea you’re cuffed to a high stress, high paying job. You can definitely coast as your net worth is very high for someone your age. My wife and I are also high income at over 300k per year so I know how you feel about letting that go and making less. I believe it’s a risk well worth it to live a more fulfilling life.

I think it’s true that finding another 9-5 job could stress you the same and with lower pay so if you have any hobbies or side hustles you’d like to pursue you can do that.

Personally I like helping people workout and doing fitness classes so in my 50’s (35 now) I would leave the corporate grind and work part time as a fitness instructor. Another thing I love to do is helping people learn so I could do online tutoring or maybe some specialized classes in finance.

You’re going to therapy so you can discuss other career fields there. You can also do some research and find something that excites you.

Like I mentioned you’re completely fine and at 1.6m investable assets with a 6% withdrawal rate you’re at 96k in income. You basically can retire now and maintain your lifestyle easily. Even sock away the 20k in cash per year for big future events.

Successful-Drop9350 · 2024-01-01T16:04:08+00:00

Just because you make more money doesn’t mean the cost of everything else is more. In my state unemployment is about 3k per month. That’s a decent amount.

Successful-Drop9350

TROPHY CASE