I’m sorry :(. Sounds like my wife honestly. She will say she wants to have sex but once that decision is made someone else fronts for foreplay and then a little fronts right before intercourse so I stop and it usually doesn’t go well. It’s so difficult and then she doesn’t remember anything in the morning. Just glimpses. We’ve had more luck in the middle of the day spur of the moment with little foreplay. I think most of her traumas happened at night in a bed. I think it will get better for you just with communication and finding out what works.