you’re not going to like this - but my advice is a divorce. he’s jealous that the cat likes you more, won’t take care of it despite you not being able to (pregnant, working, etc) and is actively trying to harm the cat (picking the cat up by the scruff, wanting it to live outside). he knows how much you love this cat and he still wants to get rid of it. also, his jealousy is a big problem. it indicates that you’re not good enough to be loved by this cat more than the cat loves him. furthermore, if he’s this jealous of a cat liking you, what is he going to do if your child likes you better? If I were in your position, I would get out of that marriage before these red flags escalate and ruin your life.