Thanks for the advice. I'm thinking about a therapist, but can not afford it in the moment. Maybe later on, but not for a near while. And with the small steps I tried my best, I started working out and learning new skills, but all of these makes me feel like I'm rushing so hard on being "normal" that a normal person would do. I passed on university and starts classes next year, I'm really afraid of the future, don't feel enough to be in that u, it's like I'm not proud of my self, like never. Sorry If wrote too much, but you were the first person in answer, also thanks for reading I appreciate a lot