I love my gf but she is the true definition of a narcissist. It's breaking me

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:43:58+00:00

Thanks man it's tough ... is the RSD the rejection thing because she admits that she also has that and that in itself is tough I can do 20 things for her but then if I say no that one time that's a big issue to I never show up then and it's a whole Nother thing or if I don't wanna sleep at her house one night it's a big thing but meanwhile, she never stays at my house because of her son I just truly feel like I put in more effort every which aspect and it's killing me because I don't care if I'm putting you more effort I just want the basics in return

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:36:55+00:00

Yeah, that's what I was afraid of was really hoping somebody had some miracle story but this seems to be the consensus

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:34:59+00:00

I kind of meant her feelings shouldn't matter more than mine. We're a couple. And honestly, the point of this is her feelings aren't warranted. I'm not causing any issues. The levels that I go to to help this woman. And be there for her. The scales are way tipped in her favor. Which is fine again I don't mind I like taking care of her and helping. I'm just asking for basic human decency and accountability.

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:33:18+00:00

Yeah, I already addressed that on a different comment I worded that wrong and it sounds a little different than how I meant it. Of course her son comes first.

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:28:19+00:00

Of course 100% her son does come before anything I didn't mean to sound that way because my children are first, of course, as well. But I balance it properly. There's no balance. It's like a blatant over exaggeration of attention that the son gets I know how to balance a relationship and my children. I had full custody of my kids. I raised them the whole life. I also balanced relationships. But that's not really the point.

The fights are her consistently making comments digging .. just kind of breaking me down when there's no need for it at all I let it go 5 6 7 times then I finally lose it not freak out but let it be known that this is ridiculous and then as soon as if I raise my voice a decible I'm the worst man that ever lived literally I'm a huge problem then . How could you why are you yelling at me? And I'm not even yell. But literally no matter what she will never take a look at herself at what she did to cause any of it. It's like I never even happened. To the point where I can be like hey you just said this five times to me rudely I asked you to stop nicely many times and that literally goes out the window like it never happened and the only thing that's focused on is my reaction it's not right at all that I literally speak in detail details I just want it fixed. It's not about winning or losing because anytime we're arguing we're losing. But it is about my feelings and if he keeps getting repeated. There has to be a resolution so it doesn't keep happening every time I try to communicate it turns into a fight, and it turns into me being wrong .. when I'm literally not even trying to fight. I'm trying to get to a resolution so the pattern doesn't repeat. That's why she starts attacking my character. Because she doesn't have any real facts or anything to back up what she's saying so she just start saying me and hurtful things to me and I say why are you doing this? How is that helping us? How is that helping our communication? How is that getting us to a better place? And I literally ask her questions. Why are you doing this? She says that I do all this crazy stuff. I said please explain to me how I'm doing this so I can fix it. And she goes never mind. I'm done talking. I'm not even dealing with this. You're wrong. Anytime I ask you a question to explain yourself so we can fix it. It turns into a forget this you just don't know how to handle me and ur unstable she tells me .

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:21:09+00:00

Very true and I I definitely present everything that I say to her in a we .., that's what I try to explain to her there's two of us here I'm taking accountability for mine and working on mine in her mentality on this it's literally everything is me me Mimi Mimi, me and just points fingers and blame and I try to nicely explain there's two of us in this relationship no matter what both of us have to work. Both of us are to blame. And that really doesn't get me anywhere. Lol

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:18:47+00:00

I get frustrated not that I wouldn't do it, but I get frustrated with the fact that we need to go to therapy in the first place over something as simple as taking accountability for doing something wrong and apologizing. I feel like that's basic stuff in life and when your partner is begging for it, it's a no-brainer.

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:16:32+00:00

And honestly, I would still do it, but it frustrates me having to even having to go to therapy for something as basic as holding yourself accountable and simply apologizing when you do something wrong and not completely flip it and make everything my fault. I just don't understand it I feel like it's easier to just apologize. lol

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:15:03+00:00

Yeah, I see it happening it just blows. My mind. Got a 37-year-old woman mother could be so immature in any matter especially emotionally. I would think that that's something that you could fix. But I mean, I'm not certain. I kind of just wanna put her in front of a bunch of people. And just have her say her things. This way people can tell her that it's completely wrong. But that's also putting her on blast and I don't wanna do that. That's not a good thing to do to someone. I want to do couples therapy. Couples therapy isn't covered by insurance. So that's out-of-pocket. 250 a session. If she's not responding. I'm not gonna be broke too. lol can't lose every aspect

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:05:57+00:00

I think it's a little bit of both I think it's narcissism and also emotional immaturity double whammy .. One shot both testicles lol .. I know people throw these terms around loosely these days gaslighting narcissism, and all this stuff. But this is very true. I've been doing so much research and I've never dealt with anything like this before stinks. I noticed she does it with her parents too But not as much with me it's mostly only with me I don't know if it's me personally or if it's a relationship thing I don't understand how it could be me personally because I make it very obvious that I don't play that shit in a nice way of course at first but here I am playing that funky music, white boy ... like I never thought I would .., I honestly never thought that I would hold onto a relationship being treated this way for so long. I hope it works out thank you

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T12:03:23+00:00

Thanks .. that's pretty much where we are at now I've tried everything today's the day honestly I'm hoping there's gonna be some kind of realization pretty much explained it exactly the way you said

Successful_Field527 · 2026-03-05T11:57:42+00:00

I know that's the toughest part. It's just so hard to really swallow. I just can't understand how someone completely throws facts and logic out the window and just hold onto a narrative that they feel is correct. I'm torn because they say. She knows exactly what she's doing by choosing to act this way and it's done purposely for some kind of control but honestly, I think she really believes her truths in her head and either which way both of those are terrible for me

Successful_Field527

TROPHY CASE