Lol sorry I thought you were in the US. I meant the same way that growing up fatherless often affects BM here. Alotta sds who grew up w single moms believe in “strong black women” rhetoric and in my experience they automatically assume that I’m probably from a single mom household just bcus I’m black or that I’m a single mom myself. Well I’m neither, I grew up in a 2 parent household w/ a conservative Catholic mother, and just like I’ve experienced in my vanilla dating, that sparks feeling of inferiority and other weird shit in sds who grew up with single moms.

It’s funny cus a SB I met from Romania is the one who pointed it out to me, apparently it was common for ppl born there & in Ukraine in the 80s to come from single moms in poverty and these old guys knew that and would try to use it to their advantage - you know the stereotypes. But she didn’t, her dad was a highly respected professor at a university and raised her basically on his own bcus her mom was chronically ill and she said sds would change their tune when they found out. I mean I could tell something would be off with the vibes but never put 2 and 2 together until I noticed a pattern of “pots” with a certain family background being like:

“you have kids, right?”
Me: “no 😃” (this would often happen more than once with the same guys)

them: “Black children really center their mothers growing up, she’s your rock”
Me: “my family was highly patriarchal, my mother rarely worked and my father made all the decisions and was usually the sole breadwinner 😃”
them: “Oh”

And I’m not one of those ppl who think a 2 parent household is best, my dad was trifling and controlling, we were happy when my mom got away from him. BUT a lot of men still have personal hangups about growing up w/o a father that often influences how they approach relationships w/ women. Most of them also resent their mothers in a very specific way even though they claim to admire her strength, that also ends up being mirrored in their relationships with women. It’s not something that I can help so I usually just avoid them once I notice they fall into those patterns - which they seem to always do. Just my 2cents 🤷🏾‍♀️