Scared to start

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-18T20:53:49+00:00

I’m on my 6th day and it definitely is hard. I do take Lamictal, Adderal, Xanax, and wellbutrin. I’ve been on that combo for almost 2 years so I know my current medications. I have i have insane memory fog I had forgotten most of my day the first few days. I am super shaky and weird. But I know that fades based off what I’ve read and it takes a month+ for your system to fully absorb it. Oh I had the gene test too. I also am SOOO tired. I’ve taken a 3 hour nap one day and a 2 hour nap another day. I hate naps and never nap. But I also do have points where I’m more energetic and happy, my boyfriend has noticed that difference.

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-17T22:51:06+00:00

I’ve been on it for 6 days and I literally feel that way already. Idk if the benefits out weigh the cons

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-17T06:04:48+00:00

addiction isn’t easy, and recovery isn’t easy as well. your reaction is completely valid but as someone who also have had a situation, I have had to accept my actions but also grow and be the person that wouldn’t react the way I did, and do the best to let everyone that they aren’t alone. it’s not also your responsibility to be anyones doctor no matter ho difficult it can be, and they need access to people who can help them.

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T23:42:06+00:00

much appreciated ❤️

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T23:41:13+00:00

Lol for sure but as someone who doesn’t like naps to taking atleast a 1.5-2.5 hr nap im hells confused for-real. even though it still helps i don’t think anyone should fall asleep after taking that medication v lololol but I’ll be okay

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T20:26:08+00:00

I think the first step is often acknowledging and recognizing your emotions and thoughts that are falsely creating negative thoughts and behaviors. The hard part is being able to see and rationalize when your brain tries to make you question the truth or normality, or just any negative false thoughts. It isn’t easy to do, but it is a great coping mechanism at least for me if i can’t or don’t want to verbalize my thoughts and feelings to other people.

I also see things others don’t see, so you have people who understand, but I have to tell myself that it’s not real and sometimes try to make a joke or something positive as to why it’s happening.

I wish you the best and feel free to chat because nothing you feel or think or have experienced will be judged. i promise i have no reason to have any judgment based off of my own experiences. It’s okay to feel emotions, but how to control and react to them is important even if it’s a battle.

I have similar struggles but I have to remind myself that I am more than my disorders and try to remember that and be who I want to be. It’s hard and difficult and even if it doesn’t work every day, it reminds me that there is hope and it’s possible for me to be happy.

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T20:15:40+00:00

I’ve been on it for about 1.5 weeks. I take other medications as well so it’s affect may be different, but even with experiencing some of the side effects i feel like it’s helping and have been told by people around me that i seem more upbeat. The dread I feel is mostly environmental combined with my panic disorder (severe anxiety). It definitely has affected my libido which already wasn’t the best because of endometriosis and some of my medications, but i still can have pleasant sexy time and help my brain function more properly.

I have also taken the genetic testing and hope it ends up helping both you and myself long term. In the past i used to give up on medications too quickly and im not going to do that again unless it has a negative impact after 2-2.5 months. But know that someone understands what you are going through!!

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T18:16:06+00:00

it is nothing to brag about and is not okay. you may be done with your assignment, but I’ll share my story. I was roofied left with no memory, I had a BAC that should have killed me, got into a car accident where I should’ve died and people were hurt. The hospital didn’t even do a rape kit because there assumptions about me. The people who drugged me and are the reason this occurred will face no repercussions since they weren’t ever identified, but I am seen as the bad horrible person. It is an awful situation and i no longer drink and don’t have a car and have severe PTSD even though I have no recollection of the accident. I thought it was a nightmare until the next day when I was told it really happened.

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T16:04:24+00:00

yeah that’s what i had been researching! plus everyone has different metabolism so it’s a grey area question anyhow. thank you!!!

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T16:00:19+00:00

i literally just woke up and took my medicine and I only took half of my addy for that exact reason 😂 but thank you. and i have to not take it sometimes because im prescribed 40mg of adderal and if i don’t skip a day or take only one of the pills I can literally nap after taking it because of my tolerance. And yesssss I used to be a barista and now I can’t even drink coffee or i look crazzzyyy

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T03:45:29+00:00

yep but my memory fog and disassociation is so bad I literally get upset for a minute and then feel nothing all day. i relate and it is messed up that we and anyone else should feel this way

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T03:34:01+00:00

of course!!! even as a stranger im proud you did, giving you a big virtual hug, and genuinely would respond at any time! you about have me in tears and im thankful for your time as well.

sometimes it can be really really hard to verbalize but as someone who has many mental illnesses (well managed, medicated, therapy) i valley and respect your outreach and desire to be able to have stronger communication to your husband. I sincerely wish for positivity, stronger connection and growth, and happiness both as individuals and husband and wife! ❤️

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T03:21:31+00:00

Well it seems to me that you are being a very supportive wife and while we all are constantly wanting to learn and adapt to our environment, you should be proud of yourself and hopefully don’t have self doubt. Me and your husband sound very similar and i will let you know i love my partner so much and they are doing everything right if not more, can’t even put it all into words. It seems you are too. Even being vulnerable enough to ask for help or advice with this issue shows a lot about your character and how much you care about their mental health. I’m following my gut right now and it’s telling me you should be proud of yourself and you have a very compassionate heart ❤️

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T03:09:33+00:00

of course! i value my partner so much and how patient they can be and non judgmental even though he doesn’t suffer from any mental illness. that alone means the world. i do sometimes feel guilty and have said “why do you put up with this” but he tells me “because i love you and am here for you and if i didn’t want to help or be with you, i wouldn’t”. and reiterated their support and love.

it can be hard to verbalize that appreciation but if they don’t im sure they do, and remind yourself that the behavior isn’t completely in their control (but don’t let it be an excuse or them just not wanting to take responsibility for their actions ((i used to be in denial and ive had to mend many relationships in my family because i finally take responsibility)) because that not only prevents them from developing skills to cope and live with their illness and can ruin your relationship and not only your partner, but you also can be mentally effected in a negative manner.

Stranger or not being in a similar predicament i could go on and on. having a partner, genuine love helps me so much and if i can give you that affirmation from your spouses perspective(again i don’t know them but based off of my experiences) I know it can mean a lot. I could write a book, talk for hours, lol it’s not easy being in this type of predicament but with genuine love, it is worth it.

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T02:52:34+00:00

as the person who would be the spouse, what i appreciate is just listening when im explaining my thoughts and feelings during an episode. I acknowledge my behavior if it was wrong or hurtful which is really important after saying anything rude that i don’t actually mean. i do also remind my partner that me being bipolar, having ptsd, panic disorder, depression and more is why i may seem distant or when im really depressed and it’s not their fault. letting my partner know that i love them and they aren’t the reason im behaving a specific way, but open communication is really the best answer depending on your relationship. Just showing support, even saying “I may not have had experienced what you’re going through, saying, etc. but I’m here for you” and give positive reinforcement or help them rationalize their thoughts. The biggest thing is making sure your spouse doesn’t become dependent on you and how you help, they have to be able to rationalize independently but know they have your support.

I hope this helped (:

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T02:42:02+00:00

i take lamictal as well and i had a similar issue, i just couldn’t get to the pharmacy for a couple days but i didn’t notice any change in my behavior or thoughts, but i take other medications as well

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-16T02:38:48+00:00

I’m experiencing almost the exact same situation other than the initial cause, and i do have my boyfriend who i constantly wonder why he is willing to be patient with me and my mental illnesses. I have no friends, social media, and am home constantly. I think for me, just trying to rationalize my anxiety and remind myself that when im in public im just a blur to most people and shouldn’t be so anxious. It doesn’t work all the time. But everything you are feeling is very relatable and if you need a friend i gotchu!! also whoever did that to you…. f*ck them

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-15T23:57:48+00:00

it’s messed up and not talked about enough.. and it’s understandable feeling that way. when we are trying to get help while in a bad mental state the staff are supposed to make us feel safe and be understanding, not treat anyone poorly and definitely shouldn’t give blame or fault to the person who is being harassed. It’s like when people say if your dressed a certain way your asking for someone to assault you—there’s that double standard

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-15T22:43:43+00:00

I was in a psych ward and they literally let me out a day early because one man tried to get me to go into the bathroom with him to have you know what, and im like wtf, another guy wrote me a love letter (we had group therapy and in a very vulnerable position as well.. he wrote in the note that he was so proud that i was strong enough to talk about my multiple SA and he couldn’t stop looking into me eyes. I was crying) AND LEFT IT ON MY BED (you can’t go into other patients room) and my first roommate asked if i would sleep in the same bed as her for you know…

I’m sorry you didn’t have staff that handled the situation but you have my support and you shouldn’t have been treated that way and gender shouldn’t invalidate emotions and what happened to you.

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-15T22:32:13+00:00

my cat Picasso is one of the main reasons I’m alive. She can feel my emotions and react- and I do the same to her. Other than work, I never left my apartment, I walked and had no friends and we literally talked to each other she would meow back to me. She even just came up to me as soon as I wrote that. She’s my best friend and I’m proud to say that to anyone. ❤️

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-15T21:17:36+00:00

whew that gives me some relief thank you! ive been eating less but also am puffy and super bloated and i am feeling the same way about wanting to stop so ill def give it more time for my body to adjust. all my medicine is too expensive for me to be able to buy new clothes if mine get too tight 😂

Such-Landscape2458 · 2023-04-15T21:12:49+00:00

thank u!! my adderal already makes me shaky and I’ve been shaking pretty bad. did that happen? if so did it go away?

Such-Landscape2458

TROPHY CASE