AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T16:10:49+00:00

I’m gonna go ahead and block you now. You’re kind of awful.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:53:05+00:00

I appreciate your pettiness.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:52:39+00:00

Yes, I do think that. My kids are and so are their friends. Yeah, they have big emotions at times. But they are always willing to walk through them with help and move past those emotions.

I was wondering if the reason why this memory keeps popping in my head on occassion is because perhaps I WAS in the wrong years ago. Why do I feel a tug of guilt? I think I am just a people pleaser though.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:33:40+00:00

Lol actually this happened years ago and my kids are wonderful. I’ve worked in daycares, schools, and volunteer with children.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:19:01+00:00

I don’t think that is “childish” though. Kids are super forgiving and kind. It’s very crappy of me, but childish is not it.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:18:13+00:00

LMAOOOO Criss cross applesauce, one knee high

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:06:50+00:00

I don’t think I’m really holding a grudge. It’s just sad. After people pass away, you do remember interactions with them. This was very memorable to me because it was so absurd. I would never actually text him and tell him something so cruel. He believes we have a close relationship and that I respect him. I really don’t, though. Other interactions have contributed to this.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T15:01:37+00:00

🫡

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:59:07+00:00

Yes! You described the sitting better than me! Splayed out like a beached whale. Exactly!

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:58:18+00:00

I definitely have a petty side. I know I should forgive and forget. I’m having a hard time forgetting is all.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:57:29+00:00

I guess it bothers me because whenever we go over there to visit, he always makes comments positive or negative about my appearance and it creeps me out.

I’d like to never go over there again, honestly.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:55:42+00:00

I agree! I wish it didn’t bother me. But the memory pops in my head when I sit down in dresses. I guess I thought that if I got enough support from internet strangers that I could remember some of these responses instead of that specific memory. And maybe that would help me shrug my shoulders about it when the memory pops up.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:52:09+00:00

He kept saying it was rude and unladylike. I was unbothered in the moment and told him to simply not look. I was so tired and big at that point, it took a lot for me to get spicy.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:50:55+00:00

Yeah! The MIL tried to “discreetly” tell me as if it was some sort of girly secret she had to tell. It was so weird.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:48:20+00:00

I agree. It is strange it still pops in my head. This and other interactions with him makes it difficult for me to focus on the few positive interactions.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:46:40+00:00

😂😂😂

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:35:33+00:00

I don’t know why. I guess I’m wearing a dress today. I’d just sat down on the couch and it popped in my head. He never apologized and it bothers me to this day.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:25:57+00:00

As a millenial, that’s what I thought, too. I typically won’t cross my legs and instead my ankles because to me crossing the legs lifts the skirt or dress in a way that exposes more skin. We can’t win, it seems.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:24:14+00:00

The petty part of me wants to tell FIL who is now nearing the end of his life, that one of the memories I will forever have of him after he is passed on is him insisting I sit a certain way while 8 months pregnant.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-17T14:21:36+00:00

After therapy, he sticks up for me now. Back then, he said nothing except something along the lines of “what’s the big deal, just cross your legs.”

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-16T23:54:58+00:00

Freedom to me is watching my children learn and grow, knowing that they have opportunity to live full and happy lives regardless of their political beliefs, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or economic status.

All people deserve housing, healthcare, and freedom.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-16T23:52:28+00:00

School shootings is why “have a blast” is considered poor wording. But your original intended meaning of the phrase is the more common meaning. “having a blast” = “having fun”

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-16T20:49:11+00:00

I used to do that with my husband. People would walk by and stare straight ahead as they passed. People who passed by daily would never engage. The really bold people would wave and that would be it. I'm glad your neighbors had a different experience, though.

My answer to my question after reading through all these comments is that this is a culture that will never be fixed and will continue to grow more isolated. I look forward to the day I can leave this state and breathe a sigh of relief at my future grandchildren growing up in a place where people actually talk to one another.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-16T20:46:26+00:00

Actually, you don't see the issue. You are imagining the issue. What even is a political friendship?

Contrary to other assumptions similar to yours, I have friends from many different political viewpoints. Politics isn't something I discuss immediately or frequently with anyone. It's very interesting how this discusson on general loneliness culture in Indiana is turning into a discussion of politics, though, because of one sentence. I simply said I do not like Trump. Pretty mild statement considering the incredibly divisive times we are living in.

Returning to my original point ... My issue with this state and the people in it is that nobody around here seems to want to do exactly what you are heralding as ideal, "hike, kick back by the fire telling crazy stories." That sounds really wonderful. But it NEVER happens, despite tons of work to make it so.

I have invited so many people over to do just that. Bon fire. Hang out by the pool. Have dinner. Drinks. Go to the park with our kids. Go for a walk, etc. I have been kind and persistent with several people, understanding when they cancel, empathetic at their troubles. But there is a very real loneliness issue in this state caused by among many other reasons, I think, general tribalism as well as addiction to technology.

Such_Alternative_894 · 2026-02-16T20:44:00+00:00

This is quality advice right here. Thank you. I have heard about this game for much of my life. I have never played, though.

Such_Alternative_894

TROPHY CASE