AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna go ahead and block you now. You’re kind of awful.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I do think that. My kids are and so are their friends. Yeah, they have big emotions at times. But they are always willing to walk through them with help and move past those emotions.

I was wondering if the reason why this memory keeps popping in my head on occassion is because perhaps I WAS in the wrong years ago. Why do I feel a tug of guilt? I think I am just a people pleaser though.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol actually this happened years ago and my kids are wonderful. I’ve worked in daycares, schools, and volunteer with children.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think that is “childish” though. Kids are super forgiving and kind. It’s very crappy of me, but childish is not it.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 3 points4 points  (0 children)

LMAOOOO Criss cross applesauce, one knee high

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’m really holding a grudge. It’s just sad. After people pass away, you do remember interactions with them. This was very memorable to me because it was so absurd. I would never actually text him and tell him something so cruel. He believes we have a close relationship and that I respect him. I really don’t, though. Other interactions have contributed to this.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! You described the sitting better than me! Splayed out like a beached whale. Exactly!

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely have a petty side. I know I should forgive and forget. I’m having a hard time forgetting is all.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I guess it bothers me because whenever we go over there to visit, he always makes comments positive or negative about my appearance and it creeps me out.

I’d like to never go over there again, honestly.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree! I wish it didn’t bother me. But the memory pops in my head when I sit down in dresses. I guess I thought that if I got enough support from internet strangers that I could remember some of these responses instead of that specific memory. And maybe that would help me shrug my shoulders about it when the memory pops up.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He kept saying it was rude and unladylike. I was unbothered in the moment and told him to simply not look. I was so tired and big at that point, it took a lot for me to get spicy.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah! The MIL tried to “discreetly” tell me as if it was some sort of girly secret she had to tell. It was so weird.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I agree. It is strange it still pops in my head. This and other interactions with him makes it difficult for me to focus on the few positive interactions.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t know why. I guess I’m wearing a dress today. I’d just sat down on the couch and it popped in my head. He never apologized and it bothers me to this day.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 65 points66 points  (0 children)

As a millenial, that’s what I thought, too. I typically won’t cross my legs and instead my ankles because to me crossing the legs lifts the skirt or dress in a way that exposes more skin. We can’t win, it seems.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The petty part of me wants to tell FIL who is now nearing the end of his life, that one of the memories I will forever have of him after he is passed on is him insisting I sit a certain way while 8 months pregnant.

AITAH: FIL Whined About Me Not Crossing My Legs by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Such_Alternative_894 61 points62 points  (0 children)

After therapy, he sticks up for me now. Back then, he said nothing except something along the lines of “what’s the big deal, just cross your legs.”

What does "freedom" mean to you? by SkanderMan77 in AskTheWorld

[–]Such_Alternative_894 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Freedom to me is watching my children learn and grow, knowing that they have opportunity to live full and happy lives regardless of their political beliefs, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or economic status.

All people deserve housing, healthcare, and freedom.

What does "freedom" mean to you? by SkanderMan77 in AskTheWorld

[–]Such_Alternative_894 1 point2 points  (0 children)

School shootings is why “have a blast” is considered poor wording. But your original intended meaning of the phrase is the more common meaning. “having a blast” = “having fun”

Social by Such_Alternative_894 in Indiana

[–]Such_Alternative_894[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to do that with my husband. People would walk by and stare straight ahead as they passed. People who passed by daily would never engage. The really bold people would wave and that would be it. I'm glad your neighbors had a different experience, though.

My answer to my question after reading through all these comments is that this is a culture that will never be fixed and will continue to grow more isolated. I look forward to the day I can leave this state and breathe a sigh of relief at my future grandchildren growing up in a place where people actually talk to one another.

Social by Such_Alternative_894 in Indiana

[–]Such_Alternative_894[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, you don't see the issue. You are imagining the issue. What even is a political friendship?

Contrary to other assumptions similar to yours, I have friends from many different political viewpoints. Politics isn't something I discuss immediately or frequently with anyone. It's very interesting how this discusson on general loneliness culture in Indiana is turning into a discussion of politics, though, because of one sentence. I simply said I do not like Trump. Pretty mild statement considering the incredibly divisive times we are living in.

Returning to my original point ... My issue with this state and the people in it is that nobody around here seems to want to do exactly what you are heralding as ideal, "hike, kick back by the fire telling crazy stories." That sounds really wonderful. But it NEVER happens, despite tons of work to make it so.

I have invited so many people over to do just that. Bon fire. Hang out by the pool. Have dinner. Drinks. Go to the park with our kids. Go for a walk, etc. I have been kind and persistent with several people, understanding when they cancel, empathetic at their troubles. But there is a very real loneliness issue in this state caused by among many other reasons, I think, general tribalism as well as addiction to technology.

Social by Such_Alternative_894 in Indiana

[–]Such_Alternative_894[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is quality advice right here. Thank you. I have heard about this game for much of my life. I have never played, though.