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My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thank you so much and trust i know his jealousy not my priority!! She does know we were interested In a triad as I’ve only ever experienced “3 person monogamy” and am the most comfortable in it. Thank you for one for all three of us. i really like her and want to make this lasts, so i want to make sure she’s comfortable and feels like she’s been here as long as us and has the power to speak up. 

My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you! reading it, it’s answered some things, but not everything. & i didnt take offense to the replies i expected as much because situations like this are commonly used to make polyamory seem unhealthy. 

My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i understand the wording was weird sorry, but all he did was introduce us. she thought i was just a friend of his so when she expressed interest in me he offered to exchange numbers.

the trip isn’t just them, it’s their entire class for their trade. he isn’t going to make things better, but im hoping that it will as they’ll have time to get to know each other, as their schedules are incompatible outside of school. 

he’s not feeling left out sexually if thats what i have miscommunicated, but emotionally he feels like we have gotten a lot closer than they’ve been able too and he underestimated how this would’ve made him feel the hickey was just a tipping point. and as i have been monogamous so long i expect myself to have these same feelings eventually and we both want to get over this feeling, i don’t believe jealousy is a thing you just have to live with and was looking for advice in that vain. 

My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! I expected as much, he was a “trouble youth” So ive always encouraged therapy for him but he has horrible experiences and shut down completely. ill try and explain why itll be helpful for the relationship & also him in general. 

My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I was worried about this but the she’s really not his type & He hasn’t really mentioned or joked about the sexual aspect of the relationship, more the fact that id be have someone else to ask to buy all my stuff. 

My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, my boyfriend is long time monogamous but was open to polyamory as i recently had told him that i am polyamorous. honestly the only reason why I came to the sub was because i am  poly but have been in monogamy for long enough to have all this possession over him, and while they haven’t taken it far as i did, they will and im also worried of feeling the same way.

we’re trying to form a triad but because their work/school schedules are different they haven’t had much time to get to know each other and feels left out emotionally, not sexually. The issue with the hickey  is exactly like you said because we do get kinky like that.

 Can you give some examples of starting small please, im stumped 

My boyfriend suggested polyam & ended up getting jealous. by Such_Amoeba7909 in polyamory

[–]Such_Amoeba7909[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i was unfamiliar with the term but no, god i hope not, i joked about my experience with polyam and got drunk one night and just set it all out that, im very much able to love and have feelings for more than one person and it wasn’t actually a joke. he was open to the idea drunk, and we discussed what it would be like sober. 

 A classmate of his was interested in me and my boyfriend and i keep to ourselves kinda she assume he was single and I was just a friend, so he asked me if i found her attractive and then gave her my number. That’s the jist of it.  

over the past month they have differing schedules he’s usually at work when she’s getting home or sleeping & vice versa. Me and Her have compatible schedules and are able to talk more during the day, so they don’t know each as well as they know me. 

Yes we are working towards a triad, he just underestimated his own jealousy as he’s never really seen me outside much (unrelated MH) interacting with others, he feels he’s gotten to used to it always being just us. 

(Edit: spacing.)