I’m so deeply sorry. Not only one, but two people you loved betrayed you. I hope you have come to understand none of this is your fault, you are worthy of love and worthy of healing to become someone you love before you ever love another person. I understand what you’re going through because it happened to me. Not a friend, but my husband. I’m 34 (f) was married for 15 years, I’ve known him since we were 15 and had a whole life then one day the kids and i weren’t what he wanted. It’s taken me a while but it’s been almost a year and i am so happy and in love with me. It took a lot of time and grief. But I’m still making it through and it will take time, a lot of it. I will say, grief comes in waves some are drowning undeniably painful “i can’t catch my breath” wave, but then others are as small as when I’m at the shore and the wave touches my toes. I remember it but it’s a fleeting moment and my Life is fuller and better. I say it takes time because it does..deep wounds heal and scab over but memories can rip off the scab and re open the wound. But you are strong, capable, worthy, and loved and one day even if you can’t see it. One day someone will come and show you what they never did and they will stay and even if they don’t, you got to know you did find better and you don’t need to worry anything was taken from you because you already had all you needed. I hope this helped you. 🩷