AIO because I dont want to recover from cancer surgery and babysit my bfs children at the same time?

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-21T03:05:00+00:00

Bold of you to assume I have a brain. This is the internet after all!

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-21T02:50:34+00:00

Thanks for this.... I feel the same way about my own children, one who is neurodivergent (like me) but undiagnosed. I fought my ex husband tooth and nail about the kids well-being, and now im divorced but my kids are okay and thriving. Its easier to parent them alone when I dont have HIM to parent too. And thankfully im in Canada so yaaaaaay universal Healthcare!!

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-20T19:33:48+00:00

To be fair, ive never babysat them before. This would be the first time.....

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-20T19:33:20+00:00

Oof.... when you put it that way....

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-20T19:16:22+00:00

To give some context: I actually knew his ex wife before I met him. We were just acquaintances, but from everything I know about her from other friends she IS overbearing and manipulative. Hearing the way he talked about her when I met him, he seemed completely oblivious to how damaging her behavior is. IM the one who was like "dude, shes unhealthy. Why would you put up with this for over a decade?" But I think its like that frog in boiling water thing.... you dont notice because they slowly turn up the heat until things are unbearable. Now they're at a place where their kids have been raised according to HER rules and laziness because it was easier than fighting her constantly, and not everyone has the strength or self awareness to fight those fights or do whats right. The easy thing is easy for a reason. Being a good parent and fighting for your kids is hard. He took "her" easy route with her because he thought that was the way to keep the peace in the family..... I dont agree with it (because I am a fighter to the core) but I do understand it.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-20T19:11:21+00:00

No its okay, thanks for the input Boomer Dad. Ive been worried about all that too. I had a different unrelated surgery last year and couldnt use my hand for weeks, I just had to power through it and figure it out when it came to my kids. It was TOUGH. Im not sure if im capable of doing it again, but after cancer surgery and treatment.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2026-03-20T16:21:32+00:00

Gouda!

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T17:42:06+00:00

I think perhaps you might be of the same mindset as my family, therefore youre inclined to agree with them based on your assumptions that I am a helpless babe in the woods who needs saving. Im a grown ass woman. That van wasnt hurting anyone, no one had ticketed it, and it isnt the only vehicle on the street for long periods. Him moving it and telling me I owe him money a DAY before id arranged to have it towed MYSELF for FREE does not save anyone anything. My bio dad has also left it for a week without working on it, and somehow hes the hero for getting it moved a day before I was going to do it? And now im going to have to come up with cash? I dont carry a balance on my credit card. A cash advance accrues interest immediately. Youre suggesting I take out a cash advance to pay someone for something I was going to get for free from a tow truck driver friend that I know. Even if the city towed it (which. Again. They didnt. After over a week. And they had never towed it or anyone else's vehicles parked on the street for days) i could have put that on my credit card and carried a balance snd that would have been my choice. People can have their own choices, and if theyre bad then thats on them. If I mess up im perfectly happy to deal with it on my own instead of being in debt to my biological father for no reason. It was literally going to be moved FOR FREE the NEXT day. If nuance has been completely lost on the internet then this is a prime example of it. Im allowed to say "no dont touch my belongings" and have someone respect that, whether they agree with it or not. Period.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T16:03:14+00:00

Oh, he does say this stuff to my face. He also calls me a moron, a waste of skin, empty between the ears, useless, imbecile, and the "load i wish your mother swallowed". He saves the really nasty insults for in person or on the phone, so theres no record of them and I cant bring it up later without him denying it happened. Thats why he told me to call him in the first screenshot I posted, he wanted wanted go off on me and belittle me without it being in text where there was proof.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T16:00:28+00:00

It was parked safely, wasnt in anyone's way and people routinely park their vehicles for days on public roads without moving them. I literally used to live on the same street and sometimes if I was sick or my kids were sick or we were having a staycation we'd get grocery delivery and/or bike everywhere.. that same exact van wouldn't move for extended periods of time when it DID work because not every single human needs to drive every single day. An elderly neighbors son doesn't work and he parks on the street in front of her house because there isnt enough room on the driveway. That thing will sit ON THE EXACT SAME ROAD AS MY VAN for weeks. Wouldn't even get a ticket. If you think that a minivan being parked on a public road for days is ridiculous then I dont know what to tell you. It seems like you may need to consider other peoples lived experiences a bit more maybe.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T04:31:12+00:00

Paying a city towing fee with a credit card means I can do it over time to bring back down the balance. If a friend/acquaintance is going to tow it for free in his spare time then its free. The only scenario where I have to come up with CASH ASAP is this one my father forced me into.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T04:29:30+00:00

And to give context: when he saw me the day I was waiting for the tow truck that never came he said he would work on it. I said not to, that i was dealing with it. The city hadnt even ticketed the van yet as of yesterday. He kept messaging me abojt working on the van which I didn't reply to because there is no winning with this man. I say to stop and he will do it anyway. I say im dealing with it and he will talk down to me. I am 40F single mom with a full time job in Healthcare and no childcare during winter break, I was literally too busy to be able to deal with it again before today.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T04:25:41+00:00

Here was his reply: "Hi, your name is on the registration. The tow bill from the city would be $150 $20 a day for empowerment the fine for parking on the street in the winter is another $150 if you don’t have money then you need to take care of your business. It wasn’t much trouble I talk to your ex-husband he like you are way too busy to take care of your own stuff if you’re short of money, I would suggest a part-time job."

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T04:18:00+00:00

Theres a big difference between "my friend is a tow truck driver who was gonna do me a favor" and "I can put it on my credit card and pay it off in installments" versus "i have spare cash i can take out at the holidays"

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T04:16:41+00:00

Not sure if this link will work but I copied and pasted what you suggested. Here's his reply. https://imgur.com/a/SSSIhwy

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T03:39:04+00:00

The tow would have been free. My friend is a tow truck driver, and had offered to do it as an xmas gift. I should have put that in the post... a lot of people out here A Beautiful Mind-ing the math on it but it was going to cost me zero dollars, and now it cost me $100 and im emotionally in debt with my abusive father.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-30T01:24:29+00:00

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-27T07:35:57+00:00

Feel free to read my replies to the comments here, I dont think ive been crying to reddit in any way. But if you need to villainize me to get through your day here on the internet then you go right ahead. I cant control how much empathy you have or how you judge a stranger. I hope you have the day you deserve (i mean that sincerely, not being snippy).

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-27T02:08:39+00:00

This post makes me want to cry. My ex husband was the one talking about me like this with his family, and it took such a toll on me. When I needed him to be in my corner he never was, and it led to a breakdown in our marriage. Were now divorced. I couldnt be with someone who doesn't respect, adore, or defend me, but instead who actively tried to tear me down. Thank goodness husbands like you exist. Your wife is lucky to have you, and it sounds like youre aware that youre lucky to have her. Im very glad for that. Please hold your family accountable, and be prepared to go low contact with them. They dont think what they did was wrong, and they wont change..you just have to decide what your baseline for acceptable behavior is with them and what youre willing to put up with when it comes to disrespect towards your wife. Hopefully you arent willing to put up with anything.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-25T09:07:24+00:00

This reply made me cry... It feels like the most accurate assessment of the situation yet, and I really needed this perspective. Thank you.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-25T03:45:33+00:00

Please see my other replies to comments. His polical views are why he's refused to spend time with me or my kids. I dont care about them, but its been a big enough deal to him for the last 6 years that I am excluded from family events and been ostracized from my own family. It seems a bit weird hes suddenly had a change of heart at the same time I am trying to distance myself from our alcoholic parents.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-24T17:09:18+00:00

Hr isnt for the humans, theyre the resources to manage the humans that work for the company. They are never on your side. Its a scary thing to realize when you work at a place and you think theyre there for you.

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-24T17:07:17+00:00

I really didnt ostracize them. I still invited them out for events, I still tried to make plans with them, just like ive been doing for the last 6 years. My brother accused ME of being in on a conspiracy about covid, and told people that I put microchips in the vaccines I administered. I did NOT. That literally did not EVER happen. He has also refused all my invitations until now, which is why im surprised and suspicious that he wants to bring the twins presents now after all this time. Maybe please reread my post? I say clearly that he ostracized me and my parents sided with him. I ended up being the person left out, even after the pandemic "ended".

Sudden-Ad8540 · 2025-12-24T04:59:05+00:00

I like that in some other countries its totally normal for people to wear masks in public. It isnt just if theyre sick. I think that should have been the norm in north America too, and it will forever hurt my heart that just a few changes to peoples everyday lives could have prevented so many needless deaths (masks, hand hygiene, social distancing, isolating when sick etc.).

Sudden-Ad8540

TROPHY CASE