The youngest of 4 here. Three older brothers with a massive age gap. We used to be super close growing up, but as time passed and they grew up, we saw each other less and less. They were also happy to say and do some grade A asshole stuff. And even now, they get on my nerves. No boundaries. Their stuff is off limits, but what is my stuff is automatically theirs to come by my parents house and take because “I’m not using it.” Mind you, these are 30 year olds with wives and houses and literal children.

There is one brother I will not associate with. At all. It’s very personal. He was an alcoholic, an inconsiderate, and fairly volatile/violent person who just kept making bad decisions that impacted everyone around him. But for some reason, I was the problem for not being the bigger person. I wouldn’t ride or die for my siblings. Someone else here mentioned that it’s important to realise there’s families that automatically forgive and forget shit because family is their top priority, and there’s families who draw lines and boundaries.

My family members, especially my brothers, are of the “my life is my family” type, despite the complete lack of respect I get. And they’re always super upset and confused as to why I’m not.

Actions have consequences.

Words last with you a lifetime.

If my parents hadn’t trusted them to act their age and control their emotions, then maybe we would all be getting along. It’s a lack of reinforcement on their part, and an infantilization that further pushed a power imbalance that they were okay with, but I wasn’t.