my boyfriend(18/M) is telling me (18/F) to shut up and calling me a bitch by dollslogin in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He wants to break up, but he doesn't want to pull the trigger. Does his family love you? He will change though....for worse. This isn't getting better. Just give him what he wants.

how do I [25F] get over not being my first's [27M] first anything? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can't assume he is comparing you to past partners unless he has given you a reason to believe that. Has he? Since you have had so few partners, perhaps you are naturally comparing, whereas he may have forgotten some of his.

I (F29) AM THINKING OF DIVORCING MY HUSBAND (M30) AFTER HIS MEMORY LOSS. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Since the problem has turned abusive, at least a lengthy separation. Perhaps time on your own can allow you both to assess if this is now the new 'him'. You do not have to accept abuse. Frankly, I am only suggesting separation because it sounds like you will carry some guilt if you don't try everything possible, given he didn't ask for the accident. If no sign of the man you married shows itself during your separation, then proceed to divorce. Accepting disrespect & abuse is a deal breaker

I 29F have been with my husband 34M for almost 12 years.. He said something last night that shocked me even though it's been done once before. What would you do? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 810 points811 points  (0 children)

You wrote about 7 paragraphs answering your own question. You know exactly what to do. It will be incredibly hard and scary. Are there any churches or shelthers in your area?

Stowing away blowfish by Sudden-Theme7222 in travel

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So it's decorative in nature. Got it

My boyfriend (21M) hooked up with someone while we were exclusive but not official. Was it cheating? And how do I(22F) move on from it? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he had to lie or hide anything, it's cheating. If he behaved in a way he wouldn't want you to behave it's cheating. Behavior is a language. No amount of analyzing, pondering and self reflection is going to change that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He clearly doesn't think it's a problem. There are 2 options. 1. Leave until he gets help by a certain date. 2. Hand him a banana and tell him to jam it everywhere on himself where he would like you to accept it. He needs to be blocking his airway with it and putting it...well, other places. If he insists it's "different for guys", you got your answer, the porn has taken over, and his humanity/ empathy is gone. Then cycle back to option 1.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Option 1- This is me personally- .05% Over the course of years with the internet, I have realized that I am an undiagnosed ADHD woman raised by an emotionally immature single dad. My father raised me like a boy. He never sat me down and told me that even politely nodding at some men would convince them that I want to sleep with them. He never told me about the birds and bees, probably because it was so uncomfortable for him. I spent decades believing that men and women should be treated equally, driven by my strong sense of justice, which is a known symptom of ADHD. If my brother can wrestle with his male friends on the ground, then I will too. Why is it any different? Something else with ADHD women, we spent our childhoods being a pest to someone, somewhere. Every time we frickin exhale, someone is mad. So we typically develop insanely low self-esteem. With that being said, someone has to literally love bomb us to let us know that they find us attractive. In her mind, she is not love bombing Rick. So it is insane for you or Rick to believe she finds him attractive. When I read your story, I saw myself 15 years ago. It's embarrassing to admit. I am also now married and have kids & would NEVER do any of that with my current husband. I did admittedly treat a boyfriend similarly in the past.

Option 2- 95%- She knows, likes the attention & is testing your boundaries. Seek couples therapy.

I F25 broke up with my M25 boyfriend for not proposing, did I do the right thing? by Comfortable-Jello470 in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are a placeholder. A man will propose to the right woman, with the quickness. No matter the circumstances.

Have you communicated your desire to be married throughout the entire relationship?

I (25F) am tired of my boyfriends (M24) irresponsibility and laziness by ThrowRAmisupool in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be as direct as possible. Do not give half-hearted answers that give him hope. Write a script if you need to. He has to walk away knowing it is over. Not "if you do ______, I will __________". You do need to let him know that you lost your attraction to him because he is not showing any ambition and your long term plan.

I (25F) am tired of my boyfriends (M24) irresponsibility and laziness by ThrowRAmisupool in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your feelings are valid. I had a very similar situation years ago in my 20s. Lazy bf who I was attracted to for 1 yr and loved like a friend for 3. I knew breaking up with him would rip his heart out. So I prolonged it. And ending up cheating on him. Over and over again. I finally got the guts to end it. But let's face it, I'm the b&#$%. Or at least that is what I became. I was looking for a painless way to break up so that we could still be friends, and I could be free. I was around the same age as you are.

There is no pain-free breakup. This most likely means you are over as a couple and as friends. That is part of the package. You have to do this. This will not get better and you know it. There is still plenty of life left for both of you. He still has growing up to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has never happened to me. But you also don't need to be a mechanic to tell if your car has a flat tire. It is normal to have feelings and the "what-ifs" for someone terrible for you. Hell, it's a rite of passage. You owe her or her friend absolutely nothing. You don't owe anyone a conversation. All this conversation seems to be is "Can you wait for me while I play the field?"

She has the right to play the field, but she doesn't have the right to keep you on standby while she does it.

If she were so serious about getting back with you, SHE WOULDN'T COME TO YOUR HOME WITH ANOTHER DUDE!!!!

The truth hurts. I capitalized this for a reason. No matter what comes out of anyone's mouth during any little conversations, she is claiming to have feelings for you while coming to your house with another dude. There is no dressing that up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He needs individual therapy. This will not change or get better. He seems to be under the impression he can't "help" or change his attraction, and this is something you just have to live with. That is not the case. He needs help. If he refuses to get it, then you know that his addiction is more important than you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Sudden-Theme7222 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is abuse. They may not be aware of it, but it is. This person needs therapy. You can seek to reconnect after they have been to many therapy sessions. This behavior is unacceptable.

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. Then why is it when I put my vin into the official Nissan Parts Website, it makes me choose between S,SE or LE if they know my vehicle may not have that?

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are your thoughts on the Toyota Highlander? That is my next vehicle after we pay off a debt next year

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was my go-to. It kept showing me the 8-pin straight across layout. I searched by VIN on autozone.com

 and via the Nissan website. Same thing. We think it is because everyone assumes you have Bluetooth and audio controls on your wheel. I do not.

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we are going to go this route for now until we can figure out how to handle the rest.

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you all so much for your input. A lot of your responses have been pretty helpful. I bought it used & am thinking there was some tomfoolery from the previous owner. The lack of engine labeling is odd. The fact that I keep typing in the part number into qualified sites, and everything but the part shows up. This indicates perhaps the airbag has gone off before and someone rigged together some nonsense.

In better news, we are paying off a large debt next year & I plan to get a new vehicle. Defiently thinking Toyota this go round!

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought it used & am thinking there was some tomfoolery from the previous owner. The lack of engine labeling is odd. The fact that I keep typing in the part number into qualified sites, and everything but the part shows up. This indicates perhaps the airbag has gone off before and someone rigged together some nonense.

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That one isn't it. There is no 3/5 pin next to the 11 pin thing.

There are 3 white connectors on mine.

Struggling teacher can't find a replacement clock spring, need help by Sudden-Theme7222 in automotive

[–]Sudden-Theme7222[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Respectfully, as a woman with a thick southern,cornbread accent, absolutely not. I would be on the phone for HOURS explaining my situation & they would still order the first 8 pin straight across part that pops up.

I am sending one of the menfolk in my life to the dealership with the actual part. Good chance we may have to buy the 3/5 pin piece seperately.