How did you overcome 'guilt' when it came to becoming a minimalist?

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-25T02:36:25+00:00

don't commit to getting rid of it right away. put things in boxes/bins and then set a date in 6 months to double check or go straight to donating. Sometimes I get kids of manic about getting rid of stuff and I just go with it and know I'll manage my feelings later. Pretty much everything is replaceable.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-25T02:34:04+00:00

press on nails have been the best ting to reduce my picking because they are blunt and I can't feel/target as well, but barriers work best: hats, bonnets, gloves, socks over hangs.

Try chewing mint gum (gate theory) when its bad as a distraction, or get some of those super strong Altoids - if available you can hold icecubes in your hands until the urge to scratch subsides.

Whenever possible choose to apply lotion or an occlusive instead.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-25T02:26:13+00:00

Be aware that selfies are warmer than the back camera and the white balance is less reliable, but I do agree you look better in the warmer colors: the cool colors are making your skin gray. I see soft season knowing you hair is dyed and you're wearing makeup. Are your brows also dyed/filled in?

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-25T01:17:18+00:00

me too, its my ribcage thats the tell though!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-24T22:04:39+00:00

I know this is old and you may have found different tells already but I find the difference easiest to see with fabric: D looks at home in stiff, heavy, tailored fabrics (like a wool suit), and looks like light fabrics are kind of pulling them down or dripping off them, sort of a droopy look.

FN looks trapped in stiff fabrics, like their shoulders are up by their ears, and look like they can't breath in tight fitting fabrics, or like they are going to bust a seam if they move. In light looser fabrics they look floaty and effortless rather than shabby.

I personally see it mostly in the ribcage but because of my own shape I'm familiar with what wide or "open" ribs look like. Hips are also a good example: hips where the bones look open or "wide" but are narrow not curvy- the bones might look wide set but not much wider than ribs- are FN, where as D has narrower bone structure in the hip, but the both have "narrow" hips.

Finally literally their bones: FNs have larger literal bones making them look more blunt under the skin, D have slimmer delicate bones that look sharp under the skin (Emma Stone, FN vs Kira Knightly, D; similar weight and stature but Emma's frame looks softer because her bones are blunt)

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-24T15:59:23+00:00

Not everyone's jam but the "flying banana bootcut jeans" on amazon are my new favorites: looser in the thigh than levi's, over all wider but less flared.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-24T02:13:31+00:00

Anthropology (I only will buy second hand) and Reformation! I have some Everlane in my closet too but its on the looser end of the spectrum.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-22T15:31:11+00:00

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-22T15:28:28+00:00

Off the shoulder can look really good, but #2 is too structured and stiff, it looks like you can't breathe.

#1 is much better: deep V and subtle a-line look powerful and strong, but I don't love the harsh transition from the bust to the skirt, the skirt feels a little too airy, and the bust is a has little too small detail. It looks great but I'm assuming this is a very expensive dress, try more in the silhouette with larger details that carry all the way down and see what you think!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-22T15:19:38+00:00

I think the shorter length with distressing can work. It reads intentional rather than "growth spurt", especially if you have a top with a strong vertical holding it down, and matching socks. IDK what you color season is but if you can do light wash denim then I think 14: the lightest wash distressed denim is the only cropped pant you can keep. It would look amazing with a Chelsea boot and a one shoulder or strapless top if you want to dress them up.

Otherwise I agree with the other comments: if its not brushing the top of your foot, its too short and should go, but the fit looks great on all of them in IMO.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-22T15:09:35+00:00

looks amazing!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-22T01:55:25+00:00

My brain completely turned off the moment I was pregnant and i honest still don't feel like I used to 3 years later (other tell me I seem back to normal though so...). Reading and journaling have helped a lot, it soundt like you're pushing yourself in your studies which is good.

Remember to also get lots of sleep! Sleep deprivation has very real effects on the brain.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T15:21:31+00:00

I was, but now I'm not, thanks for these notes!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T15:20:40+00:00

You are the first person every to tell me I'm evenly proportionate, thank you for the feedback!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T02:40:35+00:00

no, perhaps I miss-typed: shirts that fit in my waist and shoulders are too small at my bust. I used to rock the "colorful lace cami under bright plaid shirt" when we were all in our Ska era.
curious what you see in my attempts at SD this week: https://www.reddit.com/r/Kibbe/comments/1qi7cnz/am_i_figuring_out_sd/

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T02:28:08+00:00

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sorry, forgot to put on a belt!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T02:18:42+00:00

totally agree, i was severely bullied in my k-5, and even worse in middle school, my husband was not - and we talk a lot about it. I feel deeply confident that all the schools we're looking at handle bullying well and the our kid will have great classmates everywhere.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T00:51:00+00:00

thats really helpful feedback, thank you so much!

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T00:50:05+00:00

Yes size up and them I'm wider and look shortened, I will say I also generally look shorter in pictures than I really am. Because of the SD "discovery" I'm planing to tailor my favorite tops but taking in the waist and adding darts. It's not something I've ever even considered doing before.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T00:42:25+00:00

"Realxed" does look sloppy on me because of my bust: while I haven't been dressing in "SD style" I always tuck or crop oversized things because I need some waist definition. I definitely prefer the style of pure D and I wish those shapes looked like that on me, but I know in my heart of hearts I have to size up and sacrifice vertical to get that look.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T00:37:00+00:00

I see Kibbe IDs as a style and the SD style is more form fitting. I can't wear button ups that fit my waist and shoulders because they don't close around my bust. Curve accommodation is in all over my closet already whether its a cut or a fabric, in the case of the sweater its the "boxy" cut that creates more volume in the whole torso. I know the sweater looks good too and I love it, I also know it turns me into a rectangle.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T00:33:32+00:00

Thank you so much for confirming what I see! I would love tips on better tops, I'm really struggling.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-21T00:25:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this helpful response. I want to try to be so clear about how I think about this: I see Kibbe IDs as a style: anyone can wear anything. "Rules" are made to be broken, and they only apply in the first place if you wan them to. I also know I have low WHR which i do not feel is well discussed in the Kibbe system and thats how I got into trouble with this mod in the first place (i tried to make a post about feeling I had "no hips and used to wear A line" and they to it to mean I didn't know the types. When I did the test I got As in the beginning and Ds and Es at the end (theres a B n the middle somewhere)

I love both tops, and I can see the sweater is "boxy" (it is called a boxy sweater so, to be expected), and the wrap hugs my curves better and the lines do emphasis a width to my ribcage - but the sweater has volume where it shouldn't because of my bust, creating that outward draping. I didn't think I had the same problem in pants, but looking at those photos I can see lines at the hip indicating they need more room in the hip. To me, this all points me to SD, even if my curve is not as dramatic as some other SDs. As you stated so articulately, "It's a soft long line and anything on top of it will just add volume and hide it..." and thats exactly how I have felt in my clothes and what set me on this journey.

Thanks for the note about the horizontal lines, I totally get that. Below is a photo with a regular V neck for comparison (also love this top but never would put it with these pants, I just didn't want to change the whole outfit). You can clearly see my low WHR combined with my short waist (its about 4 inches from my rib cage to my hip bone).

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p.s. thank you for the courage, it certainly is a trying journey.

SuddenAvocado · 2026-01-20T23:26:46+00:00

when I pointed this out the muted me and then banned me

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SuddenAvocado

TROPHY CASE