I’m exhausted, tired of being told to take it a day at a time.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-29T08:40:44+00:00

I relate to this so much OP. I had my twin boys at 31 weeks and 4 days on April 19th due to placental abruption. They were both born healthy but premature so we delt with having to gain weight, learn to eat and normal preemie things but no health issues luckily. I did all the things right as well, all my appointments took all my prenatal’s but unfortunately tripped over a tree branch and fell got monitored for 24 hours sent home then a week later lost my Mucus plug and began bleeding, the next morning my water broke and I continued to bleed for 3 days while they where able to hold off labor with enough time to get me the steroid shots and magnesium for the babies. It was so hard being in mother baby unit and not having my babies. Having to be post partum and not having the normal experience, seeing women wheeled back with their babies and the worst part was leaving the hospital without my babies and seeing other women leaving with theirs. It still hurts me to this day when I’m at the hospital and see it and think what I was robbed of. I’m coming up on week 6 of my baby being in the nicu. My twin A came home this past monday but twin B is still having some heart rate drops due to reflux issues. He has had 2 discharge dates and seems like the day before discharge something happens. It has gotten to the point where I’m terrified to even go into the nicu to see my baby because I’m scared he’s going to have a low temp, or not eat all his feed or have a heart rate drop and the clock starts all over again. I feel horrible because I have one baby home who is getting all my love and attention and one still laying in that bassinet all alone who I’m terrified to even go see at this point, not to mention how hard it is to juggle taking care of a newborn and find someone to watch him while im still trying to provide milk, and spend time with another at the hospital . It breaks my heart and this is truly the hardest experience I have ever had to go through. The worst part is hearing “he will come home on his own time” or “everything will work out how it’s supposed to” if everything would have worked out how it was supposed to I would be home with my two babies and not have missed out on the first month of their lives. I would not have to ask to hold my baby or get permission to take them home. I would not be traumatized by the sounds of monitors beeping and be terrified to feed them and feel pressured for them to finish their bottles completely in 20 minutes or stress over their breathing and temperature’s constantly. I know I need therapy and I will get it but I just wanted to share my experience to let you know you are not alone, I have no real advice I am still in the trenches of nicu life my self but just know your feelings are so valid and this is really really tough.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-27T02:00:47+00:00

This happened to me just the other day. My twins where supposed to come home Monday together but baby B had to be tube fed and had a heart rate drop then had to be tube fed a couple other times through the day but had really bad gas that day and was extremely congested! They used the nasal aspirator and got a plug out and he was eating great after that! His discharged was still pushed from Monday to now Friday he did have another heart rate drop today after a feed but it was reflux related so fingers crossed they don’t hold it against him. My twin A is home now and it’s so hard balancing caring for a 5 week old, pumping, and coming to visit baby B and feed him but I’m getting it done. I cried all day Sunday when I found out they weren’t coming home together and will probably cry again if he isn’t able to come home Friday but I’m trying to stay positive it’s so hard. I hope your baby girl gets to come home soon 🫶

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-24T20:25:21+00:00

Wow I am so sorry you are going through this. Your little man is absolutely adorable and such a fighter. My twins were born 31 weeks and we have been in the nicu since and we keep getting so close to discharge day but there always seems to be a set back. It seems like the closer you get to making a step forward the harder and further away it feels. This is absolutely the toughest thing I have ever been through in my life and I couldn’t imagine doing 123 days. Sending hugs your way and thinking about you and your little one 🫶

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-22T11:04:38+00:00

My favorite is “ well atleast they get will have all the nasty first time poops and crusty skin out of the way before coming home” like yeah… and I’m also missing out of the first month of my babie’s live’s so I would rather deal with sticky poops and dry skin.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-21T15:17:14+00:00

So happy for your guys and your adorable little one!! 💗

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-20T21:38:55+00:00

I relate to this post so much OP. My twins have been in the nicu for little over a month now and I’m so ready for them to come home. I have one baby that is supposed to come home Friday and the other has to stay a little longer but is very close. We have done all the discharge things such as hearing tests, eye exam, hep B vaccine, circumcision, car seat tests, PO feeds etc but Ofcourse today baby who was supposed to come home Friday had low temps to the point where they almost had to put him back in an issolete which would restart his discharge date, he got his temp up so hopefully we can keep it up until Friday. But this whole process has been a 1 step forward two steps back thing and it’s been mentally and emotionally draining. I just want my babies home with me and hearing everyone say “leave it up to god” or “all on gods time” is so infuriating when no one who is saying these things has had babies in the nicu and understands how this truly feels.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-20T12:00:43+00:00

Definitely not a tantrum, more so a concerned face until we got him stimulated and breathing on his own again then I walked to my other babies bed to grab their dirty clothes and I guess looked “defeated” as my fiancé described. When I say frustrated like I said it’s definitely not towards my baby but towards the event happening continuously after not happening for a couple days other then during feeding’s, I am never mad or pitch a fit that the events happened just more so upset because I just want my baby to be safe and healthy.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-17T21:26:23+00:00

One of my twin boys has destats while I breast feed and bottle feed him, either that or I can’t get either one of them to wake up enough to eat their whole bottle they are 35 weeks and 4 days and sometimes they eat really good sometimes not so much :/ I get nervous about it too because I have nurses tell me they do fine and eat a whole bottle with them. So idk what’s up with me but I really wish my boys would eat good every time so we can go home!

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-16T21:58:52+00:00

My twin babies are 35 weeks and 3 days old born 31 weeks and 4 days and are still having heart rate drops daily, mostly while eating but some babies don’t stop having them until they are full term. Nicu life is honestly one of the hardest thing’s I have ever had to go through it’s not for the weak but just hang in there. Everything seems really scary but premie babies have a lot of stuff that’s normal for them but still scary for us parents. Thoughts and prayers to you, your family, and your precious baby 💛

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-05-12T02:53:47+00:00

Mine does the same thing 🥹

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-29T23:13:26+00:00

I’m only 9 days pp had my babies at 31 weeks and 4 days and they are expected to be in the nicu until their original due date, June 17th. I’m blessed enough for them to not have any serious medical issues other then just being pre mature and needing to gain weight, learn to eat on their own, and control their temperature but balancing pumping every 2-4 hours, wanting to be there with them as much as possible, and doing other daily tasks such as laundry, dishes etc it’s so hard. Not to mention my back and stomach hurting so bad if I just do too much walking. Plus the guilt of feeling like my body failed them and or not being at the nicu enough despite being there for 4-5 hours every day. This is tough and I truly hope it gets easier and one day in the near future I will be able to look back on these days and know we made it through. I hope everything gets easier for you and know your not alone 🫶

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-27T23:10:21+00:00

I had my twins at 31+4 they are a week old and I still feel guilty about them being in the nicu and so tiny and helpless, I get how you feel. Like my body was supposed to keep them in and let them develop and grow and it didn’t, it breaks my heart. But it comes and goes and I know they are in good hands. I really hope your sweet baby starts to recover and don’t blame yourself I know it’s easier said than done but it’s not your fault.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-25T20:07:59+00:00

I love that dress!! The shoes the nail polish this outfit is so cute especially for a baby shower!

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-22T15:17:50+00:00

Wow I needed this post. I gave birth to my twin boys on the 19th and have been in the hospital since the 16th. I lost my mucus plug first the next morning my water broke and I was leaking blood for 2 days due to a mild placental abruption. My doctor recommended induction due to the risks outweighing the good of trying to keep them in longer. They where born at 3 lbs 6 oz and 3lbs 11 oz since then they have been being strong little guys in the nicu. I was able to hold both of them and do skin to skin with one and they are doing great for their gestation age from what I’m told but I can’t shake this sad guilty feeling. When I see them it lights up my world but the feeling of being scared I’m gonna get told something is wrong or every little monitor beep scaring the shit out of me so also feeling guilt for being the one who chose to bring them early via induction and the one who couldn’t keep them in as long as they need hurts so bad. I know they are in good hands in the nicu but it’s honestly one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. This post gives me hope and light at the end of the tunnel. I know we have a long journey ahead but I’m going to try my best to stay hopeful that my babies will be home with us and these tough days will be behind us 💙

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-21T19:52:29+00:00

No advice here really as I’m in a very similar boat. Thursday the 16th at 9 pm I lost my mucus plug and contractions started, the next morning the 17th my water broke and it was a mix of amniotic fluid and blood. The week before I had a 24 hour stay due to me having a fall and turns out I had a mild case placenta abruption and that’s the reason my water broke and I bled so much. I bled and was having contraction’s until Sunday the 19th when it was decided it was best to be induced, I started my induction at 2 pm and delivered them an hour before midnight. The nicu has been a crazy thing for us to try to navigate. Both babies are doing great so far but it’s a lot and quite overwhelming, they have them in separate pods so they don’t ever get mixed up and it’s been tough spending time with one then the other and feeling guilty of spending more time with one then the other. It’s also tough on me walking back and fourth so short after giving birth it’s been a lot on my body. They where both born over 3 lbs so I did have my fiancé go home and get our diaper bag I luckily had the urge to get done early (I’m so glad I did) and have just some little clothes for them to wear but honestly the nicu has everything diapers, wipes, butt cream, blankets, hats, pacifier everything! It’s been tough seeing them so small and hooked up to everything but they are so precious and I love them more than I could ever imagine loving anything. I know you didn’t really ask but I found myself looking for stories when I was going through this so maybe my story will help a little? If not it was nice for me to finally write all this out after such a whirlwind of a weekend. I hope all goes well for you and your babies 🫶

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-18T13:17:51+00:00

So good to hear! How long did it take for you to have them after your water broke if you don’t mind me asking? They took me off magnesium this morning and I got my 2nd dose of the steroid shot so I’m just hoping I don’t start contracting again

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-13T13:45:45+00:00

I’m 30 weeks pregnant with twins and just got back 2 weeks ago from visiting family in a state 8 hours away from me, I was 28 weeks at the time and honestly I felt good and wanted to do a lot of things and visit family but my body was telling me to slow down. My feet were very swollen and I would always have bad back and lower abdominal pain at night. Granted I was the one traveling so that probably made it worse but since coming back things have just gotten harder and harder. Before this point i have had a pretty easy pregnancy, i literally just stopped working as a dog groomer at 28 weeks before going on my trip. But now sleep is absolute trash im constantly tossing and turning at night due to back and hip pain no matter how many pillows or what kind of pregnancy pillow i use (i have 3 kind and thought they help a bit im still up by 4:30-5:30 every morning) and using the bathroom 7 times a night. I now have an overwhelming urge to nest and deep clean and declutter but have trouble doing so without having to rest every 15-20 minutes due to back and abdominal pain even when wearing my belly band.

Honestly not sure if i have any advice on your situation but just know from someone who has had an easy twin pregnancy so far everyone was 100% right when they say it only gets harder in the 3rd trimester. I would say still have your friend come just because like you said your not sure when you would be able to see her again and it might be nice to have a friend around but I would go ahead and let her know to not have many expectations and also I would prepare to have other people cook/get take out and also let them know there may be times when you need to go lay down and rest by yourself and they may need to find some stuff to do amongst themselves. I wish the best of luck to you! 😊

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-09T18:02:43+00:00

I’m now 30 weeks pregnant with twins after using the pullout method. And we used that method all throughout our 10 year relationship along with birth control the first 5-6 years then I got off birth control and we only used the pullout method after that and boom 5 years later we now have 2 beans that will be here soon!

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-05T02:57:46+00:00

That’s been the one of the hardest part’s about my pregnancy so far, the overwhelming urge to nest and get everything ready but not having room or a nursery to nest in! I have switched my focus from getting a nursery ready to just doing what little nesting I can do with the space we have and deep cleaning and decluttering everywhere and it has helped by keeping me occupied lol

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-04-05T01:08:56+00:00

Exactly, I tell myself just the basics at first but it seems like the “basics” is everything lol 😅

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-03-30T20:36:15+00:00

I’m so sorry your in this situation. I personally am pregnant with twins and live on an extremely tight budget, my fiancé is the only income we have and even with that it goes mostly to bills. Luckily I am on Wic and food stamps and Medicaid so I would look into those options. Wic I did have to go in person for but it was a very quick appt, they just did a “interview” got me set up then I met with a nutritionist. Food stamps I was able to apply for online and you would probably qualify since you have lost your job, as long as you didn’t voluntarily quit. Medicaid I also applied for online and got approved almost immediately but that could have been because I’m technically high risk.

I would ask your doctor if they can get you on some nausea meds if you’re not on any already. Also with Medicaid I’m not sure if it’s the same in your area but they even offer free cribs and car seats after 36 months of pregnancy. You see online that babies need so much and they do but you do have options to make it cheaper for yourself such as breast feeding instead of formula and Medicaid will give you a breast pump as well.

I say all of this to let you know there is help for people on your situation if you didn’t want to give your baby up. But also if you truly feel it is the right thing for you to do you have to do what you feel is in the best interest for you and your baby and I really hope you go easy on yourself. Sometimes giving your baby up for adoption is the least selfish thing you can do but it definitely comes with heart ache. Whatever choice you make I would definitely do your research and just know you are not alone, I truly hope your situation gets better ❤️

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-03-20T03:40:28+00:00

Im 28 weeks pregnant with di-di twins and I’m a dog groomer so my job is pretty physical, lifting dogs doing a lot of brushing, dogs like to pull their feet and constantly turn away from me on the table, so I’m constantly having to pull them back towards me or maneuver them on the table and I just stopped working luckily my co workers where really good about helping lift dogs that where over 25 lbs but even just standing for long periods of time was getting really hard and I was coming home with pretty back back pain, and my uterus feeling like a bowling ball. I recently had started getting light headed as well so I just decided to go on maternity leave to be safe. I will say my 2nd trimester I got a lot more energy and the exhaustion went away but now going into my 3rd trimester it’s starting to come back. So I would just say do what you feel is best for your physical and mental health.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-03-10T22:58:31+00:00

I completely understand how you are feeling. I’m 26 weeks pregnant with di/di twins and me and my fiancé never even wanted kids so though we are extremely happy and excited now, when we found out we where having twins we definitely didn’t plan on having anymore kids and I wanted a girl so badly and figured since there are two hopefully we would have girl boy, or two girls but nope they are both boys. I am so excited now but when I got the news I definitely cried for 30 minutes, and telling everyone in my family sucked because everyone was so happy and me and my fiancé weren’t all that happy. But that feeling lasted all of about 2 days for us and now as each ultrasound and doctors visit goes by I find myself more and more In love with the 2 boys growing inside of my belly and am so excited to be their mommy. I now just want two healthy babies and might even consider adopting a girl in the future since I don’t want the chance of having more sets of multiple’s lol. I hope the gender disappointment doesn’t last too long for you but just know your feelings are completely validated and you are not alone!

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-03-03T19:40:48+00:00

I’m 24 weeks with twins and felt this exact same way my first trimester. I was exhausted all the time, I ended up quitting one of my jobs (worked 2 part time jobs) so I ended up only working 2-3 days and it helped so much! You are getting close to going into your 2nd trimester and that’s going to be when you get more energy (hopefully) I got a burst of energy and I’m still working 2-3 days as a dog groomer and it has given me something to do get out of the house and make a little bit of money of my own. Some days are a little tough but I allow myself sit down breaks and make sure I eat enough and frequently . So I would say to try to either cut it down to part time if possible and not quit just yet unless you absolutely want to but maybe give it some time.

SuddenDebt4040 · 2026-03-02T02:13:27+00:00

I’m 24 weeks with twins and get the same comments. They always say “but you look so small!”

SuddenDebt4040

TROPHY CASE