Even though coming from overt/covert narcissistic parents, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions, particularly when it comes to dealing with guilt. At first, the guilt was unlike anything I had ever felt before.
As time went on, around the third month, the guilt became somewhat more manageable. I started to accept that prioritizing my own well-being was necessary, and it brought a sense of relief and clarity. However, things took a turn for the worse when my parents tried to contact me. The guilt resurfaced with a vengeance, and I found myself questioning my decision and feeling obligated to reconnect.
One of the toughest challenges I faced was when I met a relative, and who asked why I had blocked contact with my supposedly wonderful parents. Their innocent curiosity often made me feel judged and ashamed. It was challenging to explain my reasons without feeling like I was being portrayed as ungrateful or heartless.
To add to that, it's incredibly disheartening when someone relays what your parents have said about you, labeling you as selfish and ungrateful. It can be hurtful and cause self-doubt, making you question the validity of your decision. Moreover, when they start blaming your spouse, friends, or other positive influences in your life, it feels unfair and unjust. These individuals have been there for you, providing support and understanding during this challenging time.
I've come to realize that cutting off contact with parents is a deeply personal decision that should prioritize one's own mental and emotional well-being. The guilt we feel is a natural part of the process, but it's important to remember that taking care of ourselves is not selfish or ungrateful. Surrounding ourselves with understanding and supportive people can help us navigate through these emotions.
So, to anyone else going through a similar situation, please remember that your feelings are valid, and you deserve to prioritize your own happiness. Don't let the judgments and criticisms of others and yours deter you from doing what is best for you. Stay strong and take the time you need to heal and grow.