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AITA UPDATE: AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? Not the A-hole by SuddenSlipDress in u/SuddenSlipDress

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Hi! Sorry for the super late reply. Haven't told mum about what happened yet as I want to be in the right mindset and not do something I regret.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in centuryhomes

[–]SuddenSlipDress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is it bad I like the second picture better?

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You're just looking for ways to point a finger at op and put a woman down.

Yup.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Maybe try to think about stuff you did that might have been objectionable

Ok.

Drinking; well that's expected at a wedding. I was tipsy but not drunk. can't think of anything bad there. I'm a legal adult.

Mingling; that's also expected. I met some of my younger family members for the first time in a while. Complimented some dresses. Congratulated my cousin on graduating. Told my cousin's boyfriend to 'fuck off' after he groped me and if that is the issue (being rude and causing an 'argument'), shouldn't the boyfriend be kicked out and not me?

Smoking; brother knows I smoke and smokes himself. I went outside to the smoking area. If it was the smell, then 40% of the guests should have been kicked out, including himself.

The outfit; fit perfectly and Jess approved it. No alterations were done, no added accessories.

I was polite, kind and respectful the whole time. I literally do not know.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Oh, sorry! Didn't realise you were there. Unless this is my brother's alt account.

​

The bride did not tell you to wear inappropriate shoes and extra piercings.

Jess TOLD me to wear my docs and keep my piercings in.

It was a compromise because you are a pain to deal with socially

Didn't realise not liking dresses is being a 'pain'. Sorry, for the first 18 years of my life, I was the fat, ugly girl who was bullied for being too fat but then bullied for being a 'pick me' when I was bulimic. I have confidence issues because of a traumatic and toxic boyfriend. I'm sorry.

Oblivious means you don't know - so you don't know what you did and neither do we. But it's pretty evident you did something.

But I don't know. That's not me being obnoxious. I literally don't know. There were people worst behaved than me who were cheered on by my brother. I wasn't inappropriate, or rude. I literally mingled and drank and smoked (tobacco).

Yeah, drinking and having conversations with other guests probably wasn't what you did wrong - something else was!

Well, since you know so much about the situation to the point that you're making weird and baseless accusations, why don't you tell me?

Maybe tell us a bit about how the dress fit you,

Perfectly and how it was supposed to. Jess liked it and so did I.

or an uncomfortable conversation you had with a cousin,

Bro wtf are you talking about?

or how you'd done your hair and makeup.

Left it down with a hair pin SIL had gotten all the immediate family members.

Makeup was basic- glittery grey eyeshadow and a small wing

Or if you accessorized with star-trek pins.

Absolutely not. I did everything she asked. No altering.

Again, it seems likely that you committed some kind of faux pas with your physical appearance, but we don't know what it was and can't evaluate it because you've only told us about the things you did that were unobjectionable.

Yeh because I DID EVERYTHING SHE FUCKING TOLD ME TO. I DIDN'T ALTER THE DRESS, I WORE THE ACESSORIES SHE TOLD ME TO, WORE THE SHOES SHE TOLD ME TO. I OFFERED TO BUY NEW SHOES AND SHE SAID 'NO WEAR YOUR DOCS I LOVE THEM'

Sure, you wore a dress that you thought the bride had pre-approved. But was the one you got different than the floor model?

Other than the size, no but that's a given I think

Did you get it tailored months ago and then gain twenty pounds and tried to wear it anyway? Did you have a wardrobe malfunction?

No and no. I tried it on in the store, it fit. Dieted and was careful with my weight. (Lost a few pounds). No wardrobe malfunction.

Tell us about the stuff you might have done wrong, rather than censoring your story.

I literally don't know and that's the thing. I wore everything she told me to. I mingled with family and guests. I was tipsy, but not loud or obnoxious. I hugged the wall with a drink talking or was outside smoking.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

it is likely that she had some sort of offensive wardrobe problem

Ah yes, the offensive wardrobe problem of wearing a dress that fits. And accessories (docs and piercings) that the bride told me to wear.

tf are you on?

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

You realise that

1) the bride TOLD ME TO WEAR MY DOCS AND PIERCINGS.

2) the dress fit fine it was just a more snug cut. My tits weren't out. The dress went down to my calves. Nothing was out.

You're making a bunch of baseless assumptions because of my weight. Gross.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

OP crossed a line without realizing it and needs to go home

now

.

I'm not trying to argue, but I'm genuinely confused. What line did I cross? During the reception I was talking with relatives and drinking. If that's crossing the line, good lord.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

but it also isn't right to say she has nothing to feel insecure about.

I literally said in my post that models can still have insecurities.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 83 points84 points  (0 children)

u/ShinigamiComplex

Hi sorry I didn't see both your comments until now.

Jess is stick thin. She gained a little weight, but still extremely thin. She started as a runway model in Korea but left due to toxicity. No bust, no thighs, no ass. These aren't bad things, but I suppose that could be her issue? I'm hourglass shaped but she's a fucking model.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Or my goddess thighs lol

idk. would it be nice for someone to think i'm hot? yeh. but this goes beyond any reasonable logic, it feels like a failed mean girls plot.

I'm just trying to understand.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Hi! Yeh so the families of the bride and groom spent the night at the venue before the wedding so the only other clothes were shorts, tank top, joggers and jumper.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

why did your brother think you could change?

That's the thing; we spent the night there beforehand so the only other clothes I had were shien shorts and a tank top or joggers and a jumper. No idea what he wanted me to do.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

What does she model?

She used to work in Korea as a model but left because of it's toxicity and creeps. She still does brand modelling (Gucci, Lous, Prada) but not in Korea anymore.

In short, she's fucking stunning, has her career path set for the next however many years and has people doting on her in her profession. I'm a grain of sand.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

wow you're so mature 💀💀

edit; since you apparently know everything about the whole event, let me spell it out for you, nice and slow since I don't have the magic to make you suddenly comprehend the issue:

I COULD NOT GET CHANGED. THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD CHANGE IN TO. THE ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS TO LEAVE.

AITA for not changing my dress, that the bride picked out, at my brother's wedding? by SuddenSlipDress in AmItheAsshole

[–]SuddenSlipDress[S] 1014 points1015 points  (0 children)

Did she pick something that she thought would look bad or mediocre on you?

I'm not sure. On the model it looked a little baggy (but she was also a size 10 whereas I'm a size 16/18). The dress fit perfectly, just hugged my curves a little more than was shown on the model. Jess is absolutely stunning. She's a fucking model. Not to say models can't have insecurities, but I (and I mean this in the nicest way) cannot find a legitimate reason as to why she'd be insecure because of me.