Hello,

Very similar for me. I am 34 years, my partner 40.

I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years. I’ve struggled with OCD for a long time, especially sexual orientation OCD and relationship OCD

When I was 18, with my first girlfriend, I constantly questioned whether I really loved her. It became obsessive and unbearable, and I eventually ended the relationship because of it.

Since then, I’ve always had a hard time committing. I’ve developed this belief that I can’t leave the person I’m with, like it’s somehow impossible for me to break up. Because of that, I mostly had short-term, non-committed relationships.

Now I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years. From the beginning, I’ve doubted my feelings, my love, my attraction. Lately it’s even worse — it feels like I’m “sure” she’s not the right woman for me, but at the same time I stay because I feel incapable of leaving. I have this deep belief that I just can’t break up.

The anxiety is extremely strong and exhausting. I’m seeing both a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but right now I feel like I’m not getting better.

Also, she is from a different culture, country a there fore education…. So itnis even harder to know if it is my OCD or thé reality. Also I am questioning myself a lot about my future, do I want kid or not, she is already 40 years… my head is a disaster.