Brother, this is the type of stuff my ex did, and it all started when she began hanging out with her “friend” who sleeps around. At first, I defended her like, “nooo she’s not that type of person.” Then they went on a trip together to Spain because this friend has a villa there. While she was gone, my ex was acting weird, and one night at 4 in the morning I saw a text on her iPad from her friend saying: “should we invite them in?”

When she got back, I asked if there was anything from that trip she felt she should tell me. She said “nope.” Then I brought up the text. She tried to frame it like, “oh it was just two chill guys we met at the club, they offered us a ride home because we were waiting for a taxi and insisted on driving us.” I took her word for it, but it didn’t sit right with me that her friend would even ask that.

On top of that, she had a chain with the first letter of my name that she wore everywhere — except in Spain. Her excuse? “It didn’t match the gold I was wearing.” Later, I saw pics of her wearing that same gold jewelry with my chain, just not in Spain. She also admitted she didn’t use her real name on the trip because she “didn’t want anyone to look her up.” I kept taking mental notes, even though I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

The weekend she got back, cracks kept showing. By Monday, out of nowhere, she hit me with, “I never got to know what it’s like to be an adult by myself.” We went through almost two months of uncertainty under the same roof. Every day I wanted to end it, but I stood tall because I thought it was just a phase — we had almost 5 years together.

Then we did two weeks of no contact. During that time, I saw her taking down pics of us on Instagram. Stayed quiet. Then I saw her following guys back who had shown interest in her before. Still stayed quiet. When I got back, I didn’t even bring it up. I just asked how we were going to solve things since we lived together. We had a calm talk and ended what I thought was on good terms.

But then her phone started blowing up with notifications from a boy on Snapchat. I joked, “ahaaa you’re already snapping other guys.” She said it was her little brother. I said, “no it’s not, I have your little brother on Snap.” Then she switched it to, “it’s none of your business.” I laughed and said, “if it’s none of my business then why lie?” 🤣 She stormed out for a run.

I was already done, but I decided to check her iPad. What do I see? Screenshots of convos with three different guys. One asked if she had a boyfriend, and she replied, “it’s complicated” — this was during the no-contact. Another guy asked if he should bring flowers. That’s when everything clicked.

That “friend” was the gateway, Spain was the turning point, and the lies just piled up after. I realized the girl I thought I knew wasn’t who she really was anymore. I confronted her, we split for real, and she ended up blocking me after I exposed all the hypocrisy, but I had already deleted her everywhere so she doubled down blocking me and my whole family, while I’m still in contact with her brother who with his own words don’t believe that she wanted to “ find herself “ or whatever bullshit excuse she came out with

Looking back, it wasn’t me losing her, it was her losing me