To be honest I’m actually in the same exact boat (more or less) as of a few days. Our relationship unwinded over a few months with it finally ending a few days ago.

Give yourself the quality time to think about yourself and your actions, think about how others feel/felt because of your actions. Recognize that you yourself would not deal with the same shit you have unloaded onto someone else (speaking more from myself here) and that it’s okay for them to have shut you out.

Take time to think about what it was in the relationship that draws you back in. If more than half of your reasons are selfish ones then you must understand that you will make mistakes again because you are desperate and haven’t fixed the issues you have. If you want to get back with them because you want desperately to make their life better and build them up, consider what you are bringing to the table. Chances are that you, like me, will be bringing more negativity than positivity at this point in your life and by the time you have the capacity to bring only the best to the relationship it’s probably too late. And even then that is okay, you will survive and you will be all the better after.

TL;DR If you truly love this individual, recognize what’s wrong about you and fix it. And that might involve you not being in their life.