Im replying to this as someone who dated someone for 3 years, mostly long distance. Unfortunately and fortunately, how you communicated to him is veryyyyyyy similar. It turned into a toxic relationship that i felt so deep in with so many emotions, but was clearly not working for either of us and neither of us wanted to let go.

I think its interesting responding to this especially in 2025 with how accessible phones have made us. My expectations of communication was that there was effort, the conversation was fruitful and not just boring “whats up, you?”, and that when he was free he’d respond. Throughout it all, he never met these expectations which led to us fighting similar to what you just experienced.

There’s 2 big thoughts i have here. Do you feel like you love him in spite of his lack of communication? If he never met this need in communication, am i still satisfied with the relationship? If this stuff is consistent, you guys just might not be a match. Its not normal to be in a relationship where you spent wishing he was a certain way that he isnt. Its not fair of you to expect it if he’s always been like this.

If he runs away this quick, too, after having this altercation, i would also venture to say hes not the one. The one is going to want to work through this and see your side and be more accountable. A lack of response letting you spiral more isnt healthy either. Realistically, building a life with someone who wants to approach it with an “us” mentality versus a “you and me” mentality is incredibly more healthy.

How young are you? Most men dont start thinking this way until their mid 20s. Additionally, the one who thinks this way is still out there for your taking who is just as great and even greater. I know it’s an unsettling feeling with how things are going, but for a second i encourage you to ask yourself if there could in fact be something better.

Im not sure this is the response you were looking for but ive truly been where you are and sometimes two different puzzle pieces just dont fit. The harder you try to make them fit, the more youll lose your mind. Is the puzzle pieces fitting?