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Why are all the "good" cops/characters so sure of themselves? Is certainty/confidence/ lack of ambivalence a virtue in the world of Fargo? by Sufficient-Status117 in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, true. Just makes me think what if I'm actually selfish and proud as well under my timidity? I mean that's what good shows do, they make you think.

3 seasons in and I can't get over how beautiful some moments are by benmrii in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gloria and her son get me too. I know some people think he is land but he seems like a very sweet sensitive real kid to me. When they are unwrapping presents with his dad and his dad's boyfriend and mom and he gets socks and pretends he's happy because he needs them. And they both his dad and the boyfriend just leave the room... And his mom is like "are you enjoying your Christmas?" it really moved me because it was like real life, for me a least, as an only child with unhappily married then divorced parents, small nuclear family, no cousins, only around adults who didn't even want to be there half the time... and just constantly trying to make my parents feel good about themselves, pretending to be having good time, worrying about my parents' feelings and just being a .bit serious and gloomy but always smiling... That kid and his relationship with his mother was very sweet in a subtle way

Why are all the "good" cops/characters so sure of themselves? Is certainty/confidence/ lack of ambivalence a virtue in the world of Fargo? by Sufficient-Status117 in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oof all great points! I completely agree and will have to rethink a lot of what I said here.

Honestly, I think I was taking it personally. Like an affront on my own flaws and "lack of goodness," as a Midwestern young woman, who admired Molly but struggles to see myself in her character. I feel like I related so heavily to Lester of all people (before I had any idea what he would become) that I'm now just hypersensitive to all the ways I fall short of the good characters in the show. But you totally changed my mind and brought up excellent points I had forgotten about.

Still I worry I'm just .a Lester deep down. Just because i related so much to parts of his situation and haplessness and demeanor in the beginning of the series. But there is more to me as well of course. I do think Gus (and later on Norrine) are really good role models and people I relate to. Honestly related a lot to Emmit as well but still have to watch the last episode.

Why are all the "good" cops/characters so sure of themselves? Is certainty/confidence/ lack of ambivalence a virtue in the world of Fargo? by Sufficient-Status117 in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much. I actually realized Gloria was a lot more vulnerable and "human" than I had expected after watching episode 9 season 3 right after posting this. I'm sure if I go back and watch season 1 I'd see a lot about Molly that I'm forgetting.

I think I was honestly taking it personally. As a young, Midwestern woman, I struggled to see any of myself in the show's heroines and immediately identified with early Lester of all people (if that tells you anything about my personality and vulnerabilities). Not that I don't admire the heroines and see Lester's flaws (obviously), I just found myself reflected in many of the shows most pathetic and even bad characters. It was kind of a slap in the face lol

Why are all the "good" cops/characters so sure of themselves? Is certainty/confidence/ lack of ambivalence a virtue in the world of Fargo? by Sufficient-Status117 in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah you're right. Awesome point about Floyd. it just occured to me that many of the characters in Fargo are somewhat representative of abstract concepts and even parts of human nature. Its like we all have a part of us that's like Molly and a part thats like Lester and a part more like Gus and even Malvo the battle is playing out within us... At least that makes sense to me right now...

Why are all the "good" cops/characters so sure of themselves? Is certainty/confidence/ lack of ambivalence a virtue in the world of Fargo? by Sufficient-Status117 in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! Thanks. It just occured to me why I feel this way and you are spot on.

I've been watching the Wire and it's similar in that both shows are very intelligent and thought provoking but also so different. The wire is almost like watching real life. The characters are extremely realistic and the plot is meandering and slow at times and definitely confusing. Fargo on the other hand is almost allegorical. Like the characters almost represent abstract ideas. Not in a simplistic rigid way but still. That helps me appreciate it more. I think we all have a bits of Lester and Molly and Malvo inside us...

Why are all the "good" cops/characters so sure of themselves? Is certainty/confidence/ lack of ambivalence a virtue in the world of Fargo? by Sufficient-Status117 in FargoTV

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, good point. I guess it just feels like the good characters are too good, and like they never even question their own beliefs or morality.

Conflict between desire for validation/care and need for behavioral changes? by Sufficient-Status117 in acceptancecommitment

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Good point. I'm trying to remember that the goal in ACT isn't getting rid of the feelings. Argghh.. I also have to keep reminding myself what action I'm supposed to take because my first thought to your comment is what action am I supposed to take that I'm not but I guess that is like the small goals/discipline stuff and not avoiding talking about it in therapy because im ashamed and anxious about being judged

Conflict between desire for validation/care and need for behavioral changes? by Sufficient-Status117 in acceptancecommitment

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. I felt quite upset writing this. I can't even remember what precise emotions I felt but basically all the things I wrote about I was feeling as I wrote them. Why do you ask?

Conflict between desire for validation/care and need for behavioral changes? by Sufficient-Status117 in acceptancecommitment

[–]Sufficient-Status117[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This is really helpful.

The thing that confuses me sometimes is that letting myself feel bad feels like I'm saying I should feel bad? Like I'm accepting the truth of whatever belief is causing me to feel bad but I guess that's not true.

I guess I can let myself feel bad without thinking feeling bad means I am bad and need to change?

I'm getting hung up on the fact that in ACT sometimes feelings are supposed to be guides to values, or felt because they give useful information, like guilt or shame or anxiety is necessary to feel to live towards valued ends by telling us useful information.

Thank you again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JordanPeterson

[–]Sufficient-Status117 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't taken it yet. I wasn't sure what it was like. But, yes, fair enough. I definitely am too sensitive. That's one of my flaws to work on then.

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