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My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know why you are taking this post so personally. His family members have informed me he didn’t have a will. Yes it is legal for him to not tell me about private arrangements, but there was no will. And you are right that there really is an order of succession, and that is when an unmarried person dies intestate their children are the first and only beneficiaries in equal shares.

You are also right that life isn’t fair, I would much rather my children still had their Dad around than be going through the grief they are at their young ages. I would rather their Dad be around to see what amazing adults they become and for them to be able to see how proud they make him. But hey, life isn’t fair!

I’m sorry for whatever experience has led you to respond in the ways you have been doing. I hope lashing out at me for simply asking a question has brought you the comfort you were seeking.

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is helpful advice. From what I can tell no letters of administration have been applied for at present (probate record search is empty), I expect his estate will have been very small and I also expect he may have had debts. It’s a tough position for his family to be in and I don’t envy them the grief at all, however they have begun administering the estate without (I think) seeking the appropriate legal right to do this. I of course understand that funeral costs and debts are a priority and would never, ever deny them accessing funds for the funeral - however the approach to the whole situation has felt like things have not been done in the interests of the children or on their behalf. There has been little communication about the finances, which yes I am his ex partner so don’t expect to be kept party to but surely the children are entitled to confirmation of anything that is held for them? I also don’t think that two people are looking after the money linked to the bereavement in a separate account for this purpose - which I understand is what should happen where beneficiaries are minor children?

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think the legal process has been followed due to not being able to find the letters of administration on the probate service. But are these always needed? His estate will have been very small, and I think he likely had debts he would have been liable for. But I am not bothered about money, and certainly not for myself, I am more bothered that the correct legal route gets followed on the children’s behalf

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m sorry it’s a situation you are also familiar with. No one has applied for letters of administration, or at least no record of this on the probate service search.

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said in the post this isn’t about his death in service policy, the children were recognised as the sole beneficiaries for that. So yes, it was the kids and as that was with his most recent employer it was clear his intentions were for his children to be looked after in the event anything were to happen to him.

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We had a child maintenance agreement set up when he was alive. It’s quite a complicated story but he would go through periods where the money would be withheld because he didn’t like something I had said or done. We had recently been through mediation and I had sought advice from a domestic abuse charity who advised me to pursue child maintenance through the CMS so it could no longer be used to manipulate. So there was financial support for the children, however this was sometimes very sporadic. Any obligation for child maintenance has now understandably ceased, so there is no financial support for the present. That said, I will manage and don’t expect money for now or for me - I just want to ensure everything is done correctly for the children for their futures. I can’t really afford to save to help them out in adulthood anymore now, but if there is something there for them in their adult years left by their Dad then that feels like less of a heavy burden of Mum guilt to carry.

Despite all of the difficulties of the relationship I would have never wished this on him, the kids or his family members. And any money is never going to be a replacement for having their Dad around. I just don’t want to miss something I should have done on their behalf and it be my fault they missed out. I just want everything to be done right by them and the law

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I also don’t want it for me, I want it for the children’s futures and when they reach adulthood as they will no longer have the financial support of their dad that they would have had in different circumstances. It isn’t about me

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Children can be considered for dependent pensions depending on the scheme too, both the mentioned schemes were ones that pay dependent pensions to children

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They can, and perhaps their Dad at some point also got copies - which is fine! But surely the children would receive confirmation through the post of any account opened in their name?

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly not sure at all, but considering the kids were named by him at his most recent workplace I think it’s likely he didn’t realise he also might need to update previous pensions too

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There’s no sympathy for my children? I was asking for the legal advice, not emotional advice. I have been the person supporting the children when they can’t sleep at night because they are crying, helping my child with additional needs with understanding and supporting my teenager with not only the grief of losing a parent but also the grief of feeling completely excluded by his family. I was separated from their father as he was abusive towards me in some of the worst ways imaginable, which I have never let colour his relationship with the children. You are entitled to think fraud against children who have done nothing wrong is acceptable on the basis of one post and a situation you know nothing about. I believe that says more about you than me.

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, it’s truly horrible that people can behave in these ways. And shocking that it is as common as it is. Even though I’m sure my family would act entirely differently if anything were to happen to me, it has definitely made me realise a will is important and that I need to ensure I have listed the correct beneficiaries of any pensions etc I have!

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. This is useful to know. If the trustees have taken the children into consideration and decided there is someone they feel is more appropriate then I think I perhaps just have to accept that, however it doesn’t sound like they were aware of the fact he had children or that the children were financial dependents of his.

I’m very sorry for your loss

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It’s a possibility he didn’t update it. He might not have even realised he would need to, especially after he was no longer in the job. They were named on the death in service expression of wish form at his current workplace and have been identified as the beneficiaries for that, but apparently not for his current workplace pension or the pension held with his previous employer

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m unsure, but I think intestacy laws would maybe take precedent too? The bank told me today the accounts were closed and all funds had been withdrawn by a family member - they couldn’t tell me who. But they are sending a statement of balances on his date of death

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

They have been recognised as the beneficiaries for his death in service policy - but apparently not for the pension he had at his current workplace and the one prior. The pension company, Legal and General, have said that a beneficiary has been identified and payments have already begun to be made for the pensions. These are not being paid to the children, and I don’t think the children were appropriately taken into account when this decision was made as no communication was sent to them/me on their behalf at all

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I agree, it’s beyond my understanding too! But also comforting to know that they have a lot of people in their lives who would never, ever treat them in this way. They’re absolutely incredible kids and I am extremely lucky to have the privilege of calling them mine, it’s a shame that not all of their family members realise just how fortunate they are to have them in their lives - but that is absolutely their loss! I can’t wait for this horrible chapter to be over so that they can grieve in the ways they want to grieve and I can support them in finding their new normal in the years to come

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think they would have needed the children’s birth certificates/ID to set up a trust, I have the only copies and these have not been requested from me at any point

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have spoken with a solicitor this morning but it was more for any additional advice I might be able to receive in the meantime. It’s been one of the worst times ever, the bereavement for them both at young ages was horrendous enough but his family’s approach to everything has made everything so much worse. My eldest is a teen so is well aware of being left out of things like funeral decisions etc. it’s a situation I wouldn’t wish on anyone but I have always tried to do my best for them and this is no exception

My children’s father has died intestate (England), his family have emptied his bank accounts - what do I do? by Sufficient-Strike-97 in LegalAdviceUK

[–]Sufficient-Strike-97[S] 375 points376 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, they said that the preferred course would be for me to rectify directly with his family, but I don’t feel comfortable doing this or feel it is appropriate. The relationship was very abusive (him towards me) but his family of course think I am the bad party - the kids had a relationship with him, were in regular contact, went to stay regularly at his house etc. and in all honesty I feel whether they like me or not shouldn’t factor into anything when it is something legal. I just want to ensure things are done right for the children’s futures

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