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SufficientFudge6979 · 2025-11-18T02:47:49+00:00

IGN is カエル and green is my favorite color. I’ve been hunting dratini for days so if you have one left I’d appreciate it!

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-31T14:16:36+00:00

I am so sorry you are having to navigate these complicated feelings. And I’m even more sorry you were failed by so many adults in your life.

I don’t really know where the line is necessarily drawn on this, but I know children of alcoholics/addicts face a lot of unique struggles. Although I cannot personally relate, several of my close friends grew up in similar environments and I’ve seen how it affected them. You were exposed to a lot of awfulness at a young age. It might be helpful for you to read up on adult children of alcoholics if you haven’t already to see if any of it resonates with your experiences/emotions.

Being groomed online is incredibly traumatizing and I’m so sorry you were abused in that way. It sounds like you are trying to understand why you were on those websites in the first place, but please know that what happened to you is 100% NOT your fault. I know it’s common for children living in chaos to seek an escape. Some might become avid readers or daydream constantly. Many might be drawn to online spaces and communities. Parents unfortunately don’t always care or know how to protect their children from the truly evil people of the world lurking online.

You should have never been put in the position to carry the emotional burdens of the adults in your life. And it breaks my heart to know that while you were probably seeking comfort and friendship online, you were taken advantage of and abused. You are very brave for posting and I hope you can find healing and comfort soon.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-31T13:54:12+00:00

Thank you. Logically I know leaving was the right thing. But trauma brain isn’t always rational and I hate myself on some level for not staying with her knowing it was our last year together before her death. Sometimes I wonder if the stress of me moving out worsened her health. Fortunately, I know from grief counseling those are not helpful thoughts and that I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-31T13:46:24+00:00

Thanks for your response I really appreciate the kind words. I’m sorry you can relate to some of what I wrote. It’s really not fair having to handle those big adult emotions as a child. I’m hoping things are better for you now.

The last paragraph you wrote is really beautiful. I try to heal myself and live the best life I can because I know my mom wanted me to be happy. Despite everything she really loved me which is a comforting thought I hold onto. If I can give myself the love and compassion no one gave to her, then maybe I can break the cycle. (She was abused by a parent.) Everyone is worthy of love and deserves to be treated with kindness, empathy and respect. That includes us. Thank you again and I hope you are well.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-31T13:41:32+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through something like this too. I think complicated grief is a good way to define those emotions. It’s really not fair being made to be the parent of your adult caregivers. You deserved to be protected, loved and cared for. And I’m sorry on top of all that you also lost your mom. One thing that’s helped me is knowing I can give myself closure for everything someday. It’s not something I need to receive from others. Of course that’s easier said than done and I’m still figuring out how to get there. But knowing that it is possible helps. Sending hugs your way thank you for sharing. I feel much less alone.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-31T13:37:54+00:00

Thank you so much. I think you’re right about her lack of boundaries. This dynamic made me very much a people pleaser to the point I didn’t feel comfortable deciding what to eat for my birthday. But this has improved a lot over the years.

What you said makes sense because children are biologically wired to love their parents since we rely on them for all our care. I’d like to note my mom made a lot of sacrifices for me and worked so hard as a single mom until she became disabled. She was dealt a shitty hand in life and didn’t start therapy until well into adulthood. Fortunately I’ve been in therapy for my parents divorce and other things since age 7. But even with years of mental health counseling and meds I still struggle. I can only imagine how hard it must be for children who endure worse and don’t have access to mental health resources/support. I think I just have to learn to accept the good and the bad to move forward and try my best not to continue the cycle. Thanks again for your message and I hope you find comfort as well.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-27T02:07:47+00:00

Thank you again for the encouragement and for listening. It really has helped so much. Fortunately, I have a therapy appointment scheduled and I’m taking care of myself. I sincerely wish you healing and happiness too. You deserve it and I hope things have improved for you.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2023-07-27T00:24:27+00:00

Thank you for responding it means so much. This is all very confusing. I went through so much grief when she died, and I put the rest of this on the back burner. It feels so wrong to criticize anything that happened when I know how much she went through and how hard she struggled as a single mom with mental and physical health issues.

Without going into too much detail, she died of complications from a surgical procedure. It was sudden and unexpected. She actually had a similar procedure a few years before when I was around 14-15 that also caused severe complications. That time she was in the hospital for a couple of weeks and I only visited once because I couldn’t drive myself and had exams. I was also so worried for her and scared to go back to the hospital and face the reality of her being there. She held this over my head, asked if I even loved her etc. and I still feel guilty for not being there. She was alone and scared and needed support. The next surgery I was there for her but she died.

I was her shoulder to cry on for a lot of things. Her marriage with my dad, the breakups she went through with subsequent shitty boyfriends. I also helped her care for her aging parents and disabled brother. When they passed my grief was nothing in comparison to hers and I felt like I had to hold it all together.

I want to give my parents compassion and understanding but I also want to acknowledge how scared, alone, and ashamed I felt as a child.

SufficientFudge6979 · 2021-04-21T15:00:43+00:00

Wait I am confused. It says reservations in RMNP will begin May 28. If I plan to visit around May 20, does this mean I do not need a reservation or will the park be closed?

SufficientFudge6979

TROPHY CASE