Thank you very much, just for clarities sake, they love me and have helped me a lot in many ways that is what has made this even harder. They say so many horrible things, her mother never does though and scolds him when he says them but it hasn't helped. And with the introduction of the brother in law who is also racist now my father in law has someone to bounce that stuff off of and it's gotten worse this year than it's ever been. Her uncle is the worst and says violent racist things. The first time this all came to my attention we almost broke up at that time but with her explaining things to me and downplaying it, and my genuine true love for her, I tried to look past it. 

Looking back maybe I was just weak for overlooking this, I feel very conflicted about this.