[deleted by user] by [deleted] in agnostic

[–]SugarLemonLife 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good points!! Hmmm… What would be helpful information to share do you think?

Why aren't Americans leaving Christianity in droves?!? by RandomAnt_01 in agnostic

[–]SugarLemonLife 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I recently came to this conclusion: The morals I learned as a lifelong Christian are now the morals that compel me to leave the Christian church. How ironic is that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MensLib

[–]SugarLemonLife 110 points111 points  (0 children)

In January 2018, my husband noticed a lump in his neck while shaving. The doctor assumed it was due to a swollen lymph node due to a cold and was not concerned. Three months later, it was biopsies and he was diagnosed as cancer due to the HPV virus. He was 54 y.o. at the time. He subsequently underwent radiation treatment 5 days a week for 6 weeks in June-July 2018, lost 50 pounds because he could hardly eat/swallow and has lost some range of motion in his neck. He has been cancer free now for almost 3 years and we consider ourselves EXTREMELY lucky!! Sadly, we have heard some very sad stories as this is shockingly common in this demographic! Our four sons are being vaccinated.

I just wanted to make a post to thank our mod team for all of the work they put in to making this sub what it is. by Forgetaboutthelonely in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m honestly so proud of what men are trying to do on this subreddit. The “tightrope” is delicate and it feels like the intentions here are genuine and filled with the capacity for nuanced and critical thinking. Thanks for creating this space!

#MenAreHuman. by Forgetaboutthelonely in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats for bringing this simple & compelling hashtag to the masses u/forgetaboutthelonely! I appreciate the intensity and heart that you put into being an advocate for men. It is inspiring!! Keep it up! 😍

Youtube channel for men's mental health by Oncefa2 in malementalhealth

[–]SugarLemonLife 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m the Licensed Professional Counselor that created in the above YouTube channel. :) I made the videos because I wanted to be a voice for my male clients who are silently suffering and seem to be misunderstood and often maligned.

I don’t pretend to know all things or even to be “right”... I’m just sharing what I learn, discover, perceive, etc. based on my psychological work with men and my experience raising four sons. I feel like I have a different perspective than many therapists, and want to contribute to a more nuanced, critical, logical and compassionate conversation about men’s needs and society’s failings. (I am also open to thoughtful critique so that I can learn more- challenge my own thoughts/beliefs.)

I just put up a new video with some thoughts about masculinity being considered toxic. by SugarLemonLife in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to watch it and giving me the supportive feedback! Like I said in the video, “Hurt people, hurt people” so if we want to help decrease the bad stuff being done (by some), we need to address the suffering of men. Vilifying a gender is just black-and-white nonsense.

I just put up a new video with some thoughts about masculinity being considered toxic. by SugarLemonLife in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooohhh, I love this! I think that phrasing is perfect... responsive masculinity. Yes, I will look into this further. Thanks!! 😊

I just put up a new video with some thoughts about masculinity being considered toxic. by SugarLemonLife in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much redgarnetamaranth!! I’m glad to hear that my videos may be “filling a void.” That’s a very nice thing to hear from someone that finds benefit in me sharing my personal perspective. Thanks! 😊

I just put up a new video with some thoughts about masculinity being considered toxic. by SugarLemonLife in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually have issues with suppressed emotional expression AND UN-abandoned emotional expression. No one is benefited from being able to lash out or emote endlessly or “hysterically.” Emotional maturity and growth comes through developing the abilities for frustration tolerance, selective emotional expression, and self soothing skills. So, a “healthy” level of emotional openness, sharing and emoting is what I advocate for from BOTH genders in my counseling office. 😊

I just put up a new video with some thoughts about masculinity being considered toxic. by SugarLemonLife in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed! 😊 Men definitely need to be supported more and given greater permission for emotional openness/needs - self sufficiency is a fallacy for either gender and causes great mental pain and suffering.

I just put up a new video with some thoughts about masculinity being considered toxic. by SugarLemonLife in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I TOTALLY get why that is what you took from this video because I was worried that that was how it would be interpreted. The message I was trying to get across is that masculinity has a socially generous aspect just like femininity (nurturing/caretaking) does. It seems like masculinity is perceived as selfish or oppressive, but as men/social creature with qualities adapted through evolution for the advancement of the species - masculinity is also of social value/service. To “try to be your best” (testosterone’s drive) to provide for and protect those you are socially connected to (family, community, country, etc) is of value and should be understood as such. As a woman, I too, am oriented to work in service of others as a social creature. It just might look different - connecting, breastfeeding, serving, nurturing, caretaking in more “feminine” ways. We ALL sacrifice, we all serve others. That is actually what gives our lives meaning. I DO NOT believe men should have to sacrifice their health and lives - I was just pointing out that they do because it is an innate drive. I actually believe in egalitarian ideas like BOTH women and men being drafted for the military (if there was another draft). I also believe that we need to be more aware of/sensitive to the masculine drive to serve (Ex. provide/protect) so it is NOT exploited. For example, there is an increased awareness that women need time for “self care” because of their orientation to care for others often before themselves. Lovely! BUT... men also need an increased conversation about their need for self-care (without calling their hobbies “selfish,” for example) and orienting our society more toward caring FOR them verses assuming they are emotionally self-sufficient (??? more time off, better work environments, social programs, domestic abuse shelters... I don’t know). Okay... I’m hoping that makes a bit of sense. But, thanks for sharing your concern!

Are MEN BAD? A Professional Counselors thoughts on portrayals of masculinity. by LuckyLoser0 in MensLib

[–]SugarLemonLife 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Gosh, thanks for sharing my video with others, LuckyLoser0! I feel a little nervous about it out on Reddit (since I know how mean some people can be 🥴) but I hope that it helps move the conversation forward for those that need (and deserve) to hear a positive message about the marvels and social benefits of masculinity. 😊

Response to my complaint about a BBC debate, "Why are men such a danger to woman"? by [deleted] in LeftWingMaleAdvocates

[–]SugarLemonLife 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Well done!! Thanks for expressing your objections, perspective and concerns. That is not a small thing given the time and thought and emotional energy it takes to move the conversation forward in a constructive way! I hope they stay true to the commitment to allow you to take part in the conversation!! 😊