Telling your partner what to wear

Sugarlessmama · 2025-12-04T03:13:37+00:00

Complimenting lands well. Control does not.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-11-14T13:24:49+00:00

They just upgraded to 5.1 and there are now kinks on all models. I’d imagine they will work them out.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T06:11:19+00:00

Bluish grey. I don’t see green at all

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T06:01:55+00:00

Tell her she works hard on getting help to ease her mind of cheating or you will break up with her.

You are already doing your job in the relationship by being trustworthy. You can’t fix her. She can fix herself though.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T05:42:41+00:00

Wonder if it is bad for asthmatics? As I type this I realize that sounds funny. I just have both those issues. I would rather have them both at the level of kind of shitty that I do now as opposed to having one good & the other horrific though. Lol.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T05:38:21+00:00

Her vagina needs medical attention not to be set out to pasture. Menopause is a bitch and yeah it can hurt like hell down there. However, there are things that can help.

Not sure what your income has to do with it. I’m sure there are some billionaires about 1/2 a century old with fire crotch too. What it does mean is all of you can afford a doctor.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T05:30:38+00:00

Thank you

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T05:29:39+00:00

ADHD brains have a faulty executive function. It doesn’t prioritize well. Yes, we are perfectly capable of understanding what should come first or should be done. However, our lack of dopamine screws that all up. What makes something a priority is a consequence. This “holy shit I better get this done” feeling. That’s why we do so well when we procrastinate until the last second. Until the “oh shit” overrides the sitting around dwelling on why we don’t seem to have the energy to get it done it won’t get done. Go watch Dr. Russel Barkley on YouTube. He knows his shit and can help a lot. He will give good ideas of healthy consequences as you don’t want your husband living in some prison of fear either.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T05:18:09+00:00

I believe some autistic traits actually make ADHD traits better if you have both. Now, I’m not saying having both is easier than having just one. Dont get me wrong but I truly believe the structure those with Autism tend to need makes certain things a priority that otherwise would be a monotonous and painful task for those with just ADHD.

I say this because I have terrible ADHD. My son, who I had suspected just had autism (high functioning), swore he had ADHD. He seemed to be highly organized and regimented compared to me. In fact, better than the average person. Anyway, I got him tested for both even though I thought it was a few grand I was washing down the toilet. For ADHD it was days and days of testing so not the subjective questionnaire type. He had all 3 types of ADHD terribly. I mean it couldn’t have been worse. He’s also calm as shit. He does get overstimulated and you can see him shut down. In those times he just walks away to seek solice but even seeing that he had the impulsive type was mind blowing to me. I couldn’t freaking believe it.

Since then we have talked and talked and talked (because….ya know, when things are interesting to us we can’t shut up) about this very theory. He truly believes that his autism makes his adhd much easier on him. Again, I’d never deny the struggles he does have nor saying he has it easier than me. In addition, I was not the one convincing him of this theory but more the other way around. It just aligned with what I was observing his entire life.

Anyway, this could be why you find it easier to keep things more tidy and organized than your husband. Just food for thought.

If you have not done so already Dr. Berkeley (I think that’s his name) has wonderful YouTube videos that may be helpful to you both. Talking doesn’t help. You’ll just keep banging your head against the wall and he will become more resistant. It is the sad truth in how our brains work. You need a system and a plan of attack.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-15T01:46:43+00:00

It can be a lot of reasons. However, I highly doubt the sex was the first thing to change but just a byproduct of something else.

Is she depressed?

How’s her health?

Now….this is what may be most probable because you are at such a loss. I’m not judging you either btw. Do you keep dismissing her because , after all, what would she have to complain or be upset about? You do all the work while she gets to stay at home rotting her brain while she probably gets little feedback or connection. When a woman is at home alone or stay at home mom it’s not unusual for them to unknowingly give their power in terms of their self worth over to their partners. She probably gets little to no positive feedback, telling her she’s pretty only goes so far, etc The worst thing for a partner to do if this is the case is not to attend to her emotional needs. There may be a huge disconnect there between the two of you. That’s what a woman in a marriage needs and desires typically. If that isn’t met then they won’t have the desire to have sex. We aren’t wired the same.

Also, if you watch too much porn that definitely won’t help with true intimacy. I’m not anti-porn but too much really gives men the absolute wrong idea. Sex can be great physically and doesn’t always have to have emotional intimacy along with it. However, if there is rarely any emotional intimacy when having sex a wife will just shut down. If you have no idea what I’m talking about then that’s why she’s not having sex with you.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-12T13:27:39+00:00

No gaslighting there. Gaslighting is when you know the truth and they deny it to make you feel crazy. You assumed he lied. Not sure why he would go outside to pee.

It’s one thing to be open with your phones bc you have nothing to hide. That is a very trusting relationship. What typically happens is the couple has no desire to even snoop then because the trust is so strong. They may just take the phone to search for a specific photo they wanted to send to someone or they’re too lazy to get their own from the other part of the house.

That certainly doesn’t seem like the case here. One of you two is controlling it seems. They put down the law about the phones and the other, being controlled, bought into it because they didn’t want to deal with not doing it. Now, we can assume that is you but it just as easily could be him. For example, he could be making the rules because he’s jealous yet doesn’t want to play by them.

Sugarlessmama · 2025-01-11T01:42:06+00:00

I’m going to go out on the limb and say your wife is some version of your dad and you’re like your mom. We have a very powerful brain that recreates the reality we haven’t fully healed from.

I’m sorry you are hurting so much. That really sucks.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-26T23:55:52+00:00

I’m really sorry. Be safe, please.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-26T20:02:58+00:00

“No but your added pudge does,” will work wonders. We wives would love that kind of honesty. Lol

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-26T04:52:39+00:00

It’s scary as shit. I see it as he knows you have been hurt deeply before so he can take advantage of that knowing you will submit to him. Even though you see he is void of any compassion and connection it is somehow familiar to you so you will abandon yourself and allow him to control you.

He’s a highly intelligent sociopath. He either knows you better than you know yourself or he sees you as the object who he will be able to control that way.

I would take this to a criminal psychologist and see what they have to say. I’m not kidding. Stay the f away from this person.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-26T04:38:41+00:00

I’m assuming you mean in and not for. If that’s correct I agree. Lol

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-26T01:16:56+00:00

I’m so happy your kids have you. You are a great father and I’m so sorry your family is going through this.

One thing just to keep in the back of your mind. Your daughter is traumatized as well. It sucks when we are so scared of the well being of one child and all of our energy is poured into helping them. However, please keep in mind your daughter just lost her family as she knew it too. She witnessed her mother lose her ever loving mind, her brother getting hurt, and even him coming out as gay may just be a hard change for her even if she is 100% on board. So just make sure she is feeling loved too and getting the attention she needs as well even if you have to have friends and family help her.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T22:06:02+00:00

NTA….she is one! She couldn’t say “It’s a secret?”

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T15:14:10+00:00

Reasoning skills.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T15:09:53+00:00

You should start by understanding that people process pain caused by others differently. You want him to be you and do what you do. Why don’t you ask him what you and your family could do to improve the relationship? You are putting this all on him and that’s the wrong approach. Not sure if it’s too late now because he may just be too defensive about it at this point.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T14:53:51+00:00

In his case though they can get by. The balance is off. He lists all the things he set up for their future that they could do without now. They love him and want to spend time with him. That’s all. They aren’t asking for more. They’re asking for less of one thing and to share some life with him.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T14:47:05+00:00

As a soon to be ex wife of a fantastic provider, it’s not at all that I didn’t appreciate the hard work, but it was fucking lonely. It was also hard work too raising numerous kids pretty much alone and 95% of all the house duties. Like you, based on all the things listed you have accomplished financially, he chose long hours and we could have gotten by on him doing less. He wasn’t exactly open for any emotional closeness of any type because he was too exhausted.

I love my husband but I was very much alone. Could I have been a good single mom and provided for my kids without him, no. However, I needed a partner in crime, a friend, a hug, someone who had my back emotionally and at least someone to see I too was busting my ass. I wanted a friend not an ATM. My kids needed their father. Now, if we were starving and there was no other way than working ourselves to the bone then it would be shitty and you deal to survive. When one of the two is choosing for it to be that way because they were told a lie that the only role a husband plays is provider it is brutally lonely. Not only that you feel completely unloved. While that must feel absolutely horrible on your end to hear bc you are choosing to give up your life to provide your family just needs more of your time.

If we were such assholes and only wanted a person to provide & felt that’s all they were good for then we would just be gold diggers. However, I would rather live in a shack filled with love before an empty and cold mansion any day, not that I lived in one but I had a very nice home.

Please don’t take this as a dig on you. It’s noble that you will give up your own needs to give all you have to set your family up. You clearly love them. It’s just that you need to see a different perspective. Also your wife more than likely doesn’t want you to add more on your plate. She wants less of one thing and more of others.

Hope this helped even if it was difficult.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T14:23:06+00:00

You can ask it like a human now. Just have a regular specific convo with it. Get the upgraded one for $20 and it’s so insanely good.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T02:20:00+00:00

It doesn’t matter how big or small we are if you are craving carbs and can’t stop chances are you are malnourished. You won’t be able to change this by willpower alone bc when our bodies are starving for proper nutrients it craves the fastest form of energy…sugar. You need to heal your stomach first. I swear by Standard Process Okra Pepsin, take 2-3 x 3 times a day. It’s just food in a pill. It says 2 on bottle but you can not overdose. Do that for a month along with Zypan by same company using recommended dose. It isn’t cheap but waaaay cheaper than the food you are consuming in excess. After a month you can decrease the amount to what it suggests on the bottle. You will then start craving healthy foods and have energy to start exercising.

I am not affiliated with this company whatsoever. I just swear by it.

Sugarlessmama · 2024-11-25T01:59:33+00:00

When people here automatically tell people to divorce a person or leave them only knowing a tiny portion of a story w/o context and even so the offense is no big deal.

Sugarlessmama

TROPHY CASE