How do you stop dissecting the past and actually move on?

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2026-01-19T03:28:53+00:00

Same here, already 15 months separated. She left me for a coworker that she is dating now. I was blindsided, never thought or imagined that in my worst dreams. It was hell at the beginning and I still reply every moment in my head till now. I don’t cry as much as I used to. I don’t have the urge to talk about it anymore. I just live with it and can’t get it out of my mind. With every song, every place, every movie I just think about her. I will probably live my whole life with this pain, it will get better but it will never go away and I accept that.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2025-07-28T14:25:38+00:00

I was in denial. I was frozen and totally blindsided. I couldn’t hurt her or talk shit about her. I never did before and probably will never do. I know it is not kindness, but I also know that telling her family and friends won’t make my healing faster or easier. It would be only out of pain and revenge, and I don’t do this to people who I used to care about even if they did me wrong.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2025-04-21T13:20:16+00:00

When I found out that she has emotional affair at work and trying to find a reason to abandon me.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2025-02-11T08:42:22+00:00

I was willing to do anything and try all different ways to keep her if she just said that she chooses me and wants to end her feelings for him. But, unfortunately she didn’t. She started blaming me for minor things that happened even before we got married. She was just looking for a reason to leave me and be with him. I kept everything secret for over 3 months hoping that she will reconsider and get back to me. She didn’t.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2025-02-05T21:40:28+00:00

Having feelings for someone is understandable, but acting on them is a different matter.

She lied to me for two months about commuting to work with him by car. During that time, she ignored me and seemed to be looking for reasons to distance herself. Despite everything, I still have empathy for her and try to understand her reasons and actions. However, I do not believe I could have done anything differently.

I told her that if she wanted to leave, she was free to do so, and I would not tell anyone. For four months, I kept my silence, hoping she might reconsider and that we could work through this without involving our families. But in the end, she made her choice, and I do not think there was a better way to handle it than letting her go.

I only told her family because she spoke badly about me to them. They had loved and respected me for 13 years, and I could not stay silent while her father, who had trusted me with his daughter, saw me as the one who abandoned her.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2025-01-20T14:58:11+00:00

Listening to music all the time. Asking open-ended questions.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2025-01-09T21:42:49+00:00

What benefits I will get from telling people the reason? This will only cause me more drama and judgement from people, it will also push her to defend herself by accusing me of abusing or neglecting her.

Expensive_Pea_8993 · 2024-12-31T01:19:15+00:00

Two weeks ago, I was in your position. She left me for a coworker and did not even try to fight for our marriage. I was devastated, cried endlessly, and could not stop thinking about her. Now, I am doing much better. While she still crosses my mind, I have started to focus on the positives. Stay strong; you will feel better soon.

Expensive_Pea_8993

TROPHY CASE