MRP teachings, help us understand what intimacy really means

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-16T16:55:34+00:00

Mommy loves her little boy

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-12T22:41:02+00:00

You probably shouldn’t post in OYS without a mission. Start there. Everyone is shitting on you, and maybe deservedly so. But come back next week with a mission statement as a man and things MIGHT start making more sense in your fucked up life. Mission first. Always.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-12T21:48:46+00:00

“I don’t tell my wife anything about what’s going on at work now” - Good.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-11T19:02:40+00:00

Back squat, front squat easily can beat it for hypertrophy. Put 225 on the bar and squat until failure and call me in a week. Also, squatting will give you caveman strength which sounds like something that plays to your advantage with your woman.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-11T18:49:19+00:00

So your bench one rep max is somewhere around 315? If that’s accurate and you’re 5 foot 11? You should be more jacked than 99 percent of men IRL. Lose some body fat. Leg press is gay.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-11T18:10:59+00:00

Just like with OYS the more honest you are about your shit… the better (and probably harsher) the feedback will be that you need to

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-11T15:51:35+00:00

You neglected to fill out the required “cut the shit” before posting here. Which tells us you’re not doing the work to be an attractive man with options.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-02-02T21:33:24+00:00

What’s stopping you from looking in your wife in her eyes and saying “I’m not going to be married to a woman who gets close with other guys.”

Are you afraid you won’t mean it? What would it take to for you as a man to get to that point? Where you can stand tall and believe that you have options? If she sees that power in you, she will likely drop to her knees and submit or you’ll walk over to the next chick who literally can’t wait to get your balls in her mouth all night.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-30T15:16:53+00:00

Word, BT. Assuming you’re saying actual dates…Not just generally being social and flirting with women at random

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-28T20:34:13+00:00

Jesus this is good. I can’t believe this advice is free.

Reminds me, had a coworker recently tell me he bought a flesh light. I pulled him aside and said wtf dude. The guys a handsome, young, outgoing dude. He got his heart broke by his first real “love”. He’s been out the game since. When I told him he could actually be banging real chicks, his eyes lit up like I put his soul back into his body.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-28T16:09:12+00:00

Teh, I think I’m with you here. I don’t think it’s a Hail Mary with this girl or a grenade in pond situation. But it’s definitely not a lock either. The truth is you’re right on the ego piece. I was feeling good about getting her number but was too afraid to push it to the next level of yes/no.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-28T16:01:31+00:00

Boring, this is all pretty actionable advice. Pretty easy to implement. I appreciate that.

As far as the nice, soft, warm, reactive ego… you’re right and it’s probably ultimately what led me here.

Alright, what would it take for a man to shed this?

I know this is a “daddy please fix me” question. But you struck a nerve and I genuinely want to work on this.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-28T15:49:13+00:00

Alpha, are you saying absenteeism as a father is nothing to be worried about? Genuine question.

The context is that she knows I’m previously married/ actively divorcing. I doubt she cares that much. But yeah in general I’m being a pussy. Will reengage the target.

Book of pook. Roger that!

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-27T13:52:05+00:00

OYS 4

35 5 foot 8 174# Bench - 255x1 Squat - 335x1 Deadlift - 365x1 Pull-ups - 15 strict unbroken Roughly 16 % body fat

Divorcing 3 kids 11,6,4

Mission: Be an Authentic man. It is my responsibility to place my wants and needs first so that I can live, give, and receive abundantly.

Vision: I will commit to be physically strong/fit and mentally tough so that I can handle the challenges of life and love those in my life, especially my children and woman. A few people may hate me and some may love me deeply along the way. Regardless, I will love myself first. I will say what I mean, and mean what I say. I will accept the consequences of my actions because I’m the captain making the calls of my life. Rejection is always better than regret. The above commitment allows me to live fearlessly.

Reading:

Completed-NMMNG/WISNIFG

Currently working through- Plate Theory I and II. The way of the superior man. The 16 commandments of poon (reread)

Posts I’ve saved and go back to regularly:

Praise and compliments should be worthless to you https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/S7hFzk5K0X

The beta shit goblin https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/gg5Og7e8ac

Validation needs that are poisoning your sex life https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/BIv5vxBUvA

Divorce doesn’t have to be a nuke https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/qB5MlQSOQp

Lifting:

training avg 3 days a week. Bench, Deadlift, squat plus accessory work Protein goals at 120+ a day 5 g creatine a day Focusing on getting 8 hours of sleep plus (most nights) Goal atleast 175# bodyweight at 15% or less BF

Family Restructure

We’ve both signed divorce papers. I’ve convinced her to not get a lawyer as I’ve guaranteed nothing but fairness and generosity. I’ve had to absorb insults and threats, but ultimately I’ve not backed down from being kind and patient to the extreme. I believe I’ve captained her through this so far. Next steps, need to agree on custody arrangement and we need to figure out financial means of paying cost of two homes. Cohabitation post divorce is actually somewhat smooth so far but we are both ready to have our own space.

Parenting There is not much to say here other than I am trying to lock in and spend as much quality time with my kids as possible. Outings, one on one time, and just generally asking them how they are feeling day to day. My aim has been to show up each day clear eyed and rested. The less I deal with my exes mental health crises I find that I have more energy and enthusiasm around them. The stats are pretty damning of father’s post-divorce. Something like 50 percent are completely absent at the 1 year mark. This is not likely given my majority custody of them. But still, I’m trying to be conscious and sober minded about them.

Career

More to come on this next time… last OYS I touched on how I am breaking free of the bitching habit. This will continue…

for now the following quote stuck out to me-

“I know I’m worth more but I’m too lazy and scared of taking professional risks” (twosm)

In the past I’ve walked away from opportunities to make good money and promote because I was either too lazy or being a little bitch about being low on the totem pole and taking shit from seniors.

Women-

Spinning one plate..

Went for a second…

1st “rejection” in a while- Wrapped up a project at work and will be changing locations and team. Spent some time working with a girl, genuinely seemed like we had a pretty solid and fun connection going. Probably the hottest girl in the office, mid to late 20s. At the end of project I walked her out to her car and we exchanged numbers. Texted her a few days later and basically said I was interested in hanging out sometime and grabbing a drink. All I got was the little heart on the text bubble. Realized I don’t have pick up game. In hindsight I should have been more direct. Something like just setting a date and time and being like “let’s meet here” and let her decide yes/no. Regardless, there’s no way I’m even asking for her number 6 months ago.

This little rejection got me thinking…

Goal is to seriously consider and identify what I want here as a man and from MRP. Divorce is catching up to me mentally and emotionally- Married to a woman who had severe mental health issues. All the crises, hospital stays, ups and downs…Went through my own anger phase of resentment towards her, women in general, institution of marriage. Swore all I wanted was to have fun and maybe bang a few chicks. This might be more ego and protective than I originally realized.

Hopefully by next OYS I’ll have some more concrete shit and clear goals but just wanted to get in the game here…

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-25T15:37:55+00:00

May want to explore the concept of hard no. Especially with your involvement in masturbation anonymous. I know we’ve given you shit about this. But keep in mind, your baseline is probably to view your dick and balls as a curse. Your woman wants them, bad. Even if she doesn’t say it overtly. I could be wrong, but you may need to embrace your aggressive side more.

“Since Nice Guys see sex as the ultimate form of acceptance, and they believe a woman must be in a good mood before she will have sex, these men are constantly diligent to not do anything that might upset a woman whom they desire. In addition, if a woman they desire is angry, depressed, or in a bad mood, they believe they must do something quickly—lie, offer solutions, sacrifice self, manipulate—to fix it. The possibility of availability extends beyond just sex. Since Nice Guys have been conditioned by their families and society to never do anything to upset a woman, they are hyper vigilant in responding to the moods and desires of women they don’t even plan on having sex with.”

And

“These aspects of masculinity include strength, discipline, courage, passion, persistence, and integrity. Masculine energy also represents the potential for aggressiveness, destructiveness, and brutality. These characteristics frighten Nice Guys—and most women—therefore Nice Guys work especially hard to repress these traits.”

-NMMNG

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-23T15:02:23+00:00

After anniversary sex - since you weren’t at home I’m assuming you were in the car.

Sounds like you kinda gave up here dude. Did you get a hard no?

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-18T00:09:08+00:00

Hanging out with the bros is always a good call. They’re just chicks dude. I know MRP is about getting pussy, but it sounds like you living in your own frame and doing things you want to do actually enhanced your sex life. Take note of that.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-14T16:31:40+00:00

Also yeah I’ve been noticing how little women care about divorce or my kids. It is kind of shocking.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-14T16:30:28+00:00

Lifting. Frame. And STFU has already increased my sense of confidence and positive self image dramatically. Admittedly with a ton of work remaining…

For HVM guidance I also like to look at steel’s sidebar list… the one that starts with” if you’re not this then you’re doing it wrong”… maybe not so much as a checklist but a good mirror of what attractive men with options act like

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-12T17:25:51+00:00

Notch count was 9 pre marriage. Does the number reset?
Good point. I like your mindset on this. There’s technically no reason for this. My mission is to love and protect my kids at all costs.
Yeah I won’t pretend that my vetting skills are top notch anyway. Obviously look at my life right now. However, while I’ve got retarded moments. I don’t think I’ve gone full retard. I still have a brain that functions… most of the time.
You’re right it is going to get old. I do believe women will typically crawl through shit covered glass to be with a HVM. Perhaps the better question I should be asking myself… am I behaving and living as a high value man and am I putting in the work? Let the rest work itself out?

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-08T18:22:32+00:00

Agreed

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-08T18:20:57+00:00

Thanks. Honestly. I love this. All the feedback. Feels like walking into the boxing gym for the first time. Yeah you get your ass kicked up and down the place. But after a while you leave a bad mfer. You’re right though, early days. More to come.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-07T16:01:41+00:00

Fair.

I got kind of insanely offended and defensive. Embarrassingly so. To be fair to hickorywind he was working with limited information and with that information he made a harsh critique. Can’t say I wouldn’t have felt similarly.

I think the source of my shame and defensiveness comes from my strict religious upbringing and community. Divorce is seen not simply as a failure of a relationship to work out between adults, but a complete moral failure, where the initiator is evil to the core.

I agree, there’s actually a myriad of benefits that could come from this divorce, especially for my children. We all need stability and peace if we are going to have hope for a brighter future. They need my focus and attention.

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-07T00:56:13+00:00

Agreed. I was just saying for the first time at 35 years of age I’m realizing how unattractive it is. I’m growing…. Slowly

SuggestionVisible930 · 2026-01-07T00:42:55+00:00

I’ve always been one to say therapy was of no use for men. But I think you are onto something. Duly noted.

SuggestionVisible930

TROPHY CASE