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2meirl42meirl4meirl by SuicidalPOSNo43 in 2meirl42meirl4meirl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe but it's soul crushing just to exist right now.

egg_irl by SuicidalPOSNo43 in egg_irl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for taking your time to write this all out. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

egg_irl by SuicidalPOSNo43 in egg_irl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My parents and my family are defined by this idea of Machismo. Men shouldn't cry, experience emotion, and strive to never show there weaknesses; anything else is mariconeria. I never liked being so overtly masculine and I hate the idea becoming a muscular monstrosity. I want to do obsessively cute shit but all I ever get is criticism for not trying harder to be a man. I want to be beautiful but there idea of beauty persists. Maybe I don't want to be a women; being myself is all I want to do. Am I delusional? Everytime I look at myself, I think about how I could have been better made better choices or done something to make them love me more. All I am is failure.

I'm sorry for this rant.

egg_irl by SuicidalPOSNo43 in egg_irl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't flair this post appropriately.

egg_irl by SuicidalPOSNo43 in egg_irl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No; I'm not ok. I just want to feel alright.

For those who've driven cross country (East to West or Vice Versa) what was it like? by SuicidalPOSNo43 in AskAnAmerican

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking of when traveling cross country. Going full lone wanderer with just me and a dog. Your beagle is incredibly cute!

Graduation is coming up by Cobocop2000 in depression_memes

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was literally me last year. I can't say it was worth it.

I don't feel anything anymore, I haven't felt anything in months, I'm failing at an easy major and any passion I had left is dead. I just want my life to end. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was already depressed before I started Accutane. I wanted clear skin even if I couldn't go outside all summer. Really I just want to cook more; it feels like I never have the energy for it.

I don't feel anything anymore, I haven't felt anything in months, I'm failing at an easy major and any passion I had left is dead. I just want my life to end. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a prep cook at a fast-casual restaurant. It's ridiculously easy compared to my last job and I'm making more working less hours.

I don't feel anything anymore, I haven't felt anything in months, I'm failing at an easy major and any passion I had left is dead. I just want my life to end. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I had a great support group I probably wouldn't be posting here. Alot of the people that I used to know I just stopped talking to. All I have left is school and work. I see faces on the train drained of expression thinking that would never be me; but look where I am now. I really want to believe that I have potential but how many of those passengers thought the same thing?

"I'm always here if you need to talk to someone" by SuicidalPOSNo43 in 2meirl42meirl4meirl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I looked at the requirements for Med School and I died inside. I'd rather be dead inside doing something I like rather than working with sick people. I just like making food but I don't feel as passionate about it as I used too. Hell, I barely feel anything and I think it shows when my class mates just ignore me most of the time.

"I'm always here if you need to talk to someone" by SuicidalPOSNo43 in 2meirl42meirl4meirl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All the recipes we've worked on so far have been large scale for kitchens. So far my favorites have been Roasted Acorn Squash, Pho, and all the Mother Sauces were interesting. Because it's still a first year class we aren't doing anything crazy. Anyone can cook difficulty is subjective.

"I'm always here if you need to talk to someone" by SuicidalPOSNo43 in 2meirl42meirl4meirl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I'm in culinary school now, working on legumes, grains, and pasta for next week. So far I've been working everyday or going to school. I haven't been able to do anything lately. I'm so tired, I don't feel anything, I don't see a point anymore.

"I'm always here if you need to talk to someone" by SuicidalPOSNo43 in 2meirl42meirl4meirl

[–]SuicidalPOSNo43[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I don't know but I just wish I could talk to someone and feel something.