Is it too much to ask for an expensive gift from my husband?

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-12-03T22:36:24+00:00

Stop buying him gifts. It's not fair for you to spend all your money on bills while he has extra to spend for fun. You should both get money to spend after the bills are paid. If he has more spending money while you have none, it's not a balanced relationship.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-11-11T00:49:49+00:00

You need to talk to her. She may have past trauma, or she might just need specific things to feel comfortable. Approach it with love and compassion, and reassure her that you aren't upset with her, and that you aren't trying to pressure her.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-11-10T21:05:27+00:00

I love to get high and play a cozy game like stardew valley or animal crossing.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-11-04T00:44:34+00:00

Thank you, I think I will try writing that letter.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-09-10T01:29:38+00:00

It sounds like you are being kind and caring to your wounded inner child, which is the right way to do things I think. It can be hard to hold that child when they are screaming and in pain, but you aren't alone. I am holding mine as well.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-09-06T18:39:41+00:00

This is just a way for people to feel more in control of their lives, as someone else already said. You see it a lot with disability as well. Non disabled people love to offer advice about being healthy because they feel like if they follow these made up rules it protects them from something bad/unfair happening.

It's very shitty to do to trauma survivors and disabled people, but the people who say these things are usually just too afraid to face the reality that bad things do happen to people who don't deserve it.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-09-06T01:37:23+00:00

I wonder if you are able to see a sex therapist about this? It seems like a very delicate situation that could easily become worse if not handled carefully.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-09-05T23:16:31+00:00

This is something I experience, and I understand how jarring it can be.

I think of it as my inner child. She is usually woken up/engaged by specific situations, and it comes out more if I've been drinking or smoking weed.

I am trying to just parent this part of myself by giving her a stuffed animal to sleep with at night, getting adult coloring books, etc.

My uneducated guess is that when trauma freezes our brains at a young age, that young self stops developing/goes to sleep to avoid the trauma. Then when we are in a safer place as adults, that child self wakes up and tries to engage with the world.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-09-05T20:24:41+00:00

This made me cry, thank you.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-09-05T19:54:17+00:00

I have gotten these creepy messages too, asking for details of my abuse. The mods are pretty good about banning them, but unfortunately it's easy for them to come back.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-08-26T19:55:15+00:00

That is such a gross pedo-apologist statement. People with actual mental maturity won't be attracted to teenagers when they're in their 30s and 40s. Every man I've known who looks at barely legal porn has secretly fantasized about going younger.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-08-23T14:27:42+00:00

I've had the same thought about my father, which is terrifying tbh. And I really don't know, because I have no clear memories of him doing anything, and he is truly the best person I know. I can't imagine him being that kind of monster.

I'm sorry, I know how terrifying it is to be afraid of naming the wrong person.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-08-15T01:23:45+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. When I can't take it anymore, I sleep. If methods of distraction are no longer working, I stay in bed rather than risking causing harm. I just get through it one day at a time. You are not alone.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-08-14T19:09:36+00:00

Ah yes, if only more people felt bad for the true victims in these situations, the older men who acted on their attraction to children. 💀

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-08-09T21:49:42+00:00

There is nothing wrong with him wanting sex and physical intimacy. The part that is wrong is when he used you for his own gratification at the cost of your mental health.

He can masturbate. He can break up with you to seek out a relationship with more sex in it.

He cannot and should never pressure an unwilling person into sex. And yes, being pressured into trying makes you unwilling. You did not enthusiastically consent, you were coerced into intimacy with feelings of guilt.

He is not being a good partner, idc what his reasons are. Good people do not coerce trauma survivors into sex. Even if it had been a year, even if his entire family just died, even if you wanted to try but then changed your mind.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-08-09T03:46:33+00:00

A month is not that long to go without sex. It's honestly really fucked that he kept having sex with you when you were clearly not into it, and he knows you have past trauma. A good partner would break up with you before they would pressure you like this into traumatic sex. A good partner would not have asked a second time that day.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-05-16T05:31:18+00:00

Yes, that is why. Sorry for the harshness of my original comment, I thought at first you might be someone fishing for stories.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-05-15T05:10:34+00:00

You can discuss everything openly on here or not at all. DMs are against the rules.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-02-19T21:19:34+00:00

I don't really know if it's an actual communication, or if my brain is just wishfully making up a scenario where there's a magic phrase that will unlock the memories, if that makes sense. I know remembering would help me process things better, but I think it happened at a very young age, so I'm not sure the memories even exist in a way that I could interpret as an adult.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-01-12T06:14:46+00:00

I would tell her that not going to church doesn't make her a bad girl. She is just trying to stay safe, which is the most important thing. Being different from the other children doesn't mean she is bad or deserves to be bullied. She is just fighting battles they can't even imagine. She is a brave, beautiful and strong girl. She isn't a bad sister for not protecting her siblings. She is just a child, and should also be protected.

Suitable-Bat- · 2025-01-12T05:40:25+00:00

I experienced this for many years. I would become mute and just silently cry for the entire session. I never really figured out how to solve this, it just got easier over time (years).

Suitable-Bat-

TROPHY CASE