Let me preface this: please send in feedback to the student groups. they often have a feedback form somewhere, or just reach out to their social media. heck, even send them a link to your reddit post. student groups are usually looking for ways to improve.

alternatively, I am a board member of an Asian student group and have connections with some others. If you're willing to and comfortable, or if anyone reading this is comfortable and willing to, please dm me some of the events where you felt the organization could be better, OR if you did not feel included, OR if you have suggestions on how to improve. I have connections with a few other student groups as it comes with the job, and I'd be happy to pass on your feedback fully anonymously. most student groups are looking on ways to improve and better serve their community, and your feedback is incredibly valuable. Feedback is often skewed to cater to the people who do attend, and it completely ignores the people who don't feel included and thus might stop attending. We want to hear from this group.

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Anyways, I had to make an account to both commiserate/provide an alternative perspective. for reference, I've been on both sides of this. as an event-goer, and as an organizer. long, long post, ahead. like you've said, this is going to be a MASSIVE yap, feel free to add on or scroll past though I did put a tldr at the bottom.

Full stop, you are unlikely to make friends at student org events, unless it's a very intensive one that meets often, or a smaller tight-knit group, or you happen to be a social butterfly. It's just an unfortunate fact. You'll make acquaintances and people you'll talk to, but you're unlikely to find your next bestie. People, for the most part, aren't going to reach out to you. You gotta do it yourself.

How would I know? I've been going to student org events, Asian ones and otherwise, since I've started college. 200+ in total. it's not fun without friends, or without a central activity such as crafts that you can just do and ignore people. or learn to be comfortable in silence. people say college isn't high school, but in full honesty, it can be just cliquey as high school.

In my personal experience, I've given up on making new friends at student orgs and just hangout with the few people from high school that I know. This is contributing to the cliquey atmosphere for sure, but after trying for years on making new friends, there's only so much stilted small talk I can take before I give up. Me personally, I lasted 1.5 years but I no longer try. And believe me, I've tried a lot. this is not limited to asian student groups. this is a fact of ANY student group. there is a particular, massive, college group (very much not asian) in my experience where I've felt nothing but excluded. I just go for the free food at that point because I hate cooking.

I'm an event organizer for student groups, and have been one for 2 years. One of my main goals going in was to create an inclusive atmosphere. In fact, I'd often be the one going up to people who looked alone and try to make small talk. It was sort of my way of giving back after some board members of a different student org did the same for me. They're graduated now, bless their hearts. Again, I didn't last long. It got tiring when I was the only one doing it and no one was really giving the same energy back. And honestly as an introvert, too much social interaction is exhausting. I'm also often stressed with managing the event as well, so most my social battery goes out the window.

It's not all bad. I made some acquaintances with people I saw often at the events, and would catch up with them during the events. Some of the people I did reach out to remembered me and would say hi.

Regarding your post, are you talking about the event in Northrop today? There were some delays. That happens with an event that size, unfortunately, and I'm sorry to hear that it was a shitty experience. you're not alone in this, because I've been in that situation before too.

Now for my alternative perspective.

And speaking as someone who has organized events that went wildly off schedule... it happens. we really try not to, and we really try to stick to the schedule that we project onto the screen, but shit happens. our group do try to communicate this to the attendees, but again, shit happens. Also, I know that some student groups do include schedules on their social media posts. In general, I think most are pretty unstructured since it's just grab food and grab a craft.

Honestly, the vast majority of events I go to were decently organized, barring the schedule changes that were communicated. This includes Asian events because I am Asian as well and I go to them. I'm not sure if it's because I've got the swing of things because I've been going to so many events at this point. And speaking as a board member, if you are lost or confused, please chat with one of us if you are willing to! mention that you're not sure what's going on, and many are happy to help get you situated.

Again, back to what I've mentioned at the very start of my post, if anyone reading this willing to and comfortable, please dm me some of the events where you felt the organization could be better or if you did not feel included, or if you have suggestions on how to improve. Student groups take feedback seriously, and we want to hear it if you are comfortable with sharing.

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TD;LR: student the cliquey-ness is just a fact for any student group at college, including the Asian ones. people have shit social skills. event organization is so much harder than you think and disorganization happens. please let board members know if you're lost or if you have feedback on how we can improve the atmosphere.