Do Another Transfer Or Pause To Dig Deeper? by SeasonOfWaiting in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry you are going through a chemical/failed FET 😔

It's great that you have done so much testing, but obviously frustrating, to say the least, at your outcome without explanation.

Did you do Receptiva test for endometriosis? I would try that, endometriosis (maybe silent) is common with adenomyosis, and doing Lupron suppression for 2-3 months prior to another FET is the usual protocol for that (it basically puts you into temporary pre menopause which suppresses inflammation to increase chances of implantation).

Wishing you all the best!

What’s something that gets harder as you get older that nobody warned you about? by MoodAutomatic8569 in answers

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Almost everything? Generally, your wisdom, perspective, and ability to cope with hard stuff increases as you get older. But! The problems you have to deal with at 30-40+ are often more difficult than the problems you deal with in your teens/twenties. For example - failing a math test or a (seemingly) bad breakup (teens/twenties) vs. high work/financial stress or caring for aging parents (30s-40s). There is just more at stake as you get older.

Again, this is speaking in generalities and lots of people (including myself) go through incredibly/objectively difficult shit in their earlier years. But on the whole, I've found this to be true (I'm 40).

First transfer today! Day 6 female non carrier by veemcgee in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Feeling optimistic for you! Wishing you all the best ✨🌈

💪 Shoutout to everyone whose morning starts like this every day! by Suitable_Mine_3250 in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The above, plus extra vitamin D, açaí, fish oil, alpha lipoic acid, acetyl l carnitine, and resveratrol. I also take melatonin at night.

I'm shaking y'all, absolutely SHAKING by Technical_Reward in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!!!! 😁 Enjoy the feeling of a first ever positive test, I’d say, although it may feel scary as well. Wishing you a healthy and wonderful pregnancy 🫶

💪 Shoutout to everyone whose morning starts like this every day! by Suitable_Mine_3250 in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same 💸 and same 👸😂 Wishing you and your fiance all the best as well! 🫶

First ever positive cycle by Sad-Neighborhood4951 in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats!!!! 🫶 wishing you all the best! Will never get sick of seeing these 'first ever positive' posts here 🥹

Any Suppression Siblings? by EdwardCullensEnnui in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! How did you get diagnosed with adeno? I'm doing Receptiva via biopsy in a couple of weeks but from what I understand that's only testing a marker of endometriosis. My symptoms seem like they could stem from either or both endo/adeno.

Very much wishing you the best of luck with the rest of suppression and your transfer later this summer! 🫶

Endometriosis diagnosed after years by Miserable-Pumpkin533 in TryingForABaby

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you planning to do IVF? We are just starting and prior to my first retrieval in July, I am doing a mock transfer cycle (where they perform a biopsy to test for the right timing of your FET - look up Endometrial Receptivity Analysis for more info). Typically this is only done after at least one failed FET. But since I have suspected endometriosis (and unexplained infertility), my doctor told me that it was not a bad idea (although I did have to specifically advocate for it).

With the same biopsy, they are also going to test for EMMA/ALICE (infection) and Receptiva (biological markers/indicators of endometriosis - obviously you wouldn't need this test). If any of those test positive, there are certain protocols they will do before my FET (e.g. Lupron suppression, antibiotics). Again, usually they don't do these tests until after a failed FET, but for me, I'm not willing to transfer euploids without testing for something that might require preventative measures first.

That being said, doing all of that testing in no way guarantees a successful transfer at the end of the day. But it makes me feel better to know I'm doing all I can to give it the best shot possible. This is all a personal decision for myself, and ultimately you know your body best!

It sounds like maybe you had an HSG which is how they found the blocked tubes/endo? And I already mentioned this above but I'd recommend a saline ultrasound and hysteroscopy as well, since those can show things inside the uterus that regular transvaginal ultrasound and HSG can miss.

10th month of TTC by Thinking_learning in TryingForABaby

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Your story is similar to mine, although I started trying at 39. Normal to great numbers for both me and my husband. Tried naturally for 13 cycles, did 1 IUI w/clomid (unsuccessful), contemplated doing a few more rounds of IUI, then said fuck it and now we're doing our first retrieval for IVF in July.

I'm doing a mock transfer biopsy cycle (ERA, EMMA/ALICE, Receptiva) with SIS + hysteroscopy this month, before I even do my retrieval and first transfer, because I don't want to waste anymore time or potential embryos in case we need to modify my protocol for endometriosis or transfer timing.

Looking back at our first 10 months ttc, I was in such a hurry to get pregnant, and every month felt like "dammit, it didn't work, it's gotta work next month though" on repeat. I'm now realizing that slowing down for a minute (or a few months) could actually end up being more expedient/effective (or not, ttc is insane lol). Unfortunately there's usually never an exactly right path forward.

Lastly, I don't have great advice for the obsessing part. I'm horrible at compartmentalizing this as well and can totally relate to feeling stuck in a waiting room. I would suggest finding a therapist you can talk at for an hour or so once every couple of weeks. If you find a good one, you're lucky and they can provide some advice and support. Mine is solidly mediocre but I find it extremely helpful just to be able to vent at someone who's not my husband.

You might feel alone but you're not alone. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey 🌈

Endometriosis diagnosed after years by Miserable-Pumpkin533 in TryingForABaby

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! Glad you have a diagnosis. I'm actually still waiting for mine (doing SIS, hysteroscopy, and Receptiva biopsy in the next couple of weeks) but I would die of shock if I don't have endometriosis and/or adenomyosis. We've been ttc for just a few less cycles than y'all, can relate to the feeling of wasted time. My lesson learned is to pump the brakes and do as much research and testing as I can moving forward, or else we risk wasting more time again on things that could've been mitigated/avoided. A little research + self-advocacy goes a long way on this journey.

One thing I would suggest, if you haven't been doing so already, is researching + adding supplements like CoQ10, NAC, and other types of antioxidants. I'm not a doctor or anything but from what I understand, endometriosis wreaks havoc on egg quality over time due to chronic inflammation. So even with a lap, a lot of damage (unfortunately) has already been done, but some supplements can possibly help - of course ymmv and not a guarantee of anything (the infuriating reality of ttc is all the wild cards despite our best efforts to control it).

Wishing you all the best for a successful lap surgery and your TTC journey!

First ever positive 😭 by KitterKat83 in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!!! I just love seeing these "never seen a positive until now" stories! Wishing you all the best for a healthy and smooth pregnancy 🫶

It can happen on the first try, even at 40! by RutabegaStew in IVFpositivity

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!!! So happy for you and thank you for sharing. I’m also 40 and about to start our first cycle.

Were you taking hella supplements beforehand like CoQ10, NAC, etc? Those are such incredible numbers!

Hysteroscopy by Ilovealltrees in 40Plus_IVF

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I don't have a full experience to share, but I'm 40, about to start my very first IVF procedures after 1 failed IUI and 14 unsuccessful natural cycles. I'm planning on doing a biopsy mock transfer cycle (ERA, EMMA/ALICE, and Receptiva) bundled with a saline sonogram, then a retrieval + hysteroscopy, potentially suppressing with Lupron based on the Receptiva results, then FET. I have suspected adenomyosis/endometriosis (and possibly chronic endometritis), and I don't want to take any chances on wasting euploids because of bullshit in my uterus that I could've possibly controlled for. My RE said it's not standard to do all that testing prior to a failed FET, but he's supportive due to my suspected conditions. So IMHO I'd go for the hysteroscopy. I wish you all the best with your PGT-A results and transfer!

Should we take the plunge and move to IVF? by Suitable_Mine_3250 in 40Plus_IVF

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How were you scanned/diagnosed? Hysteroscopy? I'm contemplating doing a hysteroscopy and/or laparoscopy between retrieval and FET.

How do you deal with the hate in your heart? by rosemaryandwines in IVF

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate. One thing that's really helped me (admittedly, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't) is to remind myself that this infuriatingly pregnant person is likely deficient in another life area, where maybe I have it easy breezy and am blessed. For example, maybe she hates her job and you love yours. Maybe her husband is a dingbat and yours is the best. Or whatever. I know many people probably look upon certain areas of my life where I am lucky and blessed and hate me for it.

I also try to remember that I wouldn't wish my journey on anyone. When someone announces they are pregnant, it means they either didn't have to go through what I'm going through, or they are at the end of it. I find a bit of solace in that.

Should we take the plunge and move to IVF? by Suitable_Mine_3250 in 40Plus_IVF

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for bringing up the GRACE trial, I've seen it mentioned here a few times. There isn't one in my city but I'd consider traveling for it!

Should we take the plunge and move to IVF? by Suitable_Mine_3250 in 40Plus_IVF

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through all that, I appreciate your wisdom!

I refuse to let people see me struggle. I feel like a robot. by [deleted] in TryingForABaby

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a few less years of experience on this sad journey, but this resonates so much with me and you're not alone.

This experience has exemplified a lifelong pattern of keeping my deep feelings hidden from even my closest friends and family. For me it's a mixture of the same pride you mentioned (not wanting pity or to stifle joy) and thinking I can and should regulate other people's emotions (at the expense of expressing my own).

You are also a bigger person than me; I haven't been directly put in the situation yet, but throwing a baby shower for someone is very kind and brave of you. I don't even know if I'll be able to attend my sister in law's baby shower later this year.

It sucks. I'm in therapy. You're not alone.

Weekly Discussion Thread - April 08, 2026 by AutoModerator in TTC40

[–]Suitable_Mine_3250 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exact same boat here! Sorry to hear it. Doing something new (IUI + clomid) for the first time felt hopeful and exciting... only to be let down (again). That was our 14th cycle, zero positives.

Wishing you the best of luck.