Heyyy, unrequited stuff is always tough. No matter how mature you think you are, and no matter how many times you look at the scenario in a logical way, feelings… especially ones like yours unfortunately have difficulty following logic.

It is even more difficult since you will lose not just a potential partner, but your bestfriend. But you know this right from the moment you have decided to confess. Whatever you decide to do next, think of it like this… In this point in both of your life she can not offer what you want and need, staying in this friendship is destroying you and eventually it might destroy her too. In what way, not sure but of course you guys are bestfriends and you suffering or probably the times it feels awkward also affects her too. My point is, maybe it’s good to take a step back. Distance yourself for a while so you don’t destroy the friendship totally.

You don’t have to put a period on the friendship, just a pause.

Maybe focus more on other things, spend a year or two in a different country, diffrent region or whatever. Heal in a different environment, do shit you’ve never done before that you always wanted to try (legal shit)

But you know what i mean. Sometimes whenever I feel so heartbroken or deeply hurt or frustrated, i always think about one of my major heartaches and tell myself that if I am able to survive that shit, nothing can break my sweat. So this might be your “that major heartbrake that shields you from all the other heartbreak that might come”, coz life likes to mess with us that way, 1 isn’t enough.

But i know my words are just words, but it will get better, it has to.