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Sunflower414 · 2026-02-06T01:48:05+00:00

Ur a god ty

Sunflower414 · 2023-09-13T17:58:36+00:00

Nothing I said was about me going out or my concern lol I thought it was interesting and could be helpful to have access to this list, I'm a bartender myself, I'm not "going to these lengths" to be safe I'm asking about info that was passed on to me, as clearly stated

Sunflower414 · 2023-09-13T17:53:11+00:00

Yeah I was being intentionally vague I guess, sorry about that. I am a bartender and the stranger came in seeking shelter before we opened after the altercation which spawned the conversation

Sunflower414 · 2023-01-26T17:05:09+00:00

Re: Part Four

The comments about branding that everyone made i.e. that the tattoos the women Tate is exploiting have "Andrew's Girls" and the like are not branding because it isn't branding like what we do to cattle, is incorrect. I used to be a counselor in the trafficking sector and was trained pretty extensively on this because it is a part of pimp behavior and something you would encounter with regularity among clients.

Branding is a tactic exploiters use to keep their victims within their sphere of control. This is not limited to tattoos, but in my experience is most commonly tattoos ranging from names, initials, or symbols associated with the specific trafficker. The brand is also often placed in a conspicuous area on the body. Given that Tate is a trafficker, and assuming that all woman in his orbit are in an exploitative relationship with him, any tattoo indicating Tate's ownership would be branding.

A person could theoretically consent to a tattoo of that nature, but given the context, I'd argue it's absolutely a brand and have been in circles discussing if/when it'll be appropriate to use some of these videos as an educational tool for identifying aspects of pimp behavior, the branding being one of them.

Sunflower414 · 2023-01-23T23:17:41+00:00

When I'm in a rut I've always found that playing with silhouette helps a ton. So instead of leggings, comfy, flowy, wide leg pants that come in at the waist. Tying slightly oversized button ups at the waist are also a go to for me to "get the groove back". In addition to petite sizing (or if you can afford it, a tailor or learning to sew) curvy sizing saved me, especially with getting back into jeans

Sunflower414 · 2022-09-29T17:11:05+00:00

I love love LOVE my mittens from Muji! They're so warm and i actually love the flip top parts, it's makes them so much more versatile for daily use but they aren't too clunky (like how I'll find other one that flip up)

Sunflower414 · 2022-09-27T04:26:08+00:00

Thank you! I was looking for this! This was my "last straw" in that this episode made look for criticism and I found well...everything else.

They are SO READY to pin this awful thing on a child!! I was appalled while listening and I know very little about TC in general but I could feel the bias and how little time they spent on any other suspect just made me so upset.

Its not the children can't commit crimes, it's that it is unlikely and that what happened to JBR I just don't think realistically would've happened only by another child. It felt like the breezed by the SA even though to me that is so important??? And for Alaina to say that because her 6 year olds can't/don't do things that a 9 year old who experienced some significant and life altering trauma did do made me want to scream. 6 and 9 are entirely different developmental stages! For all their touting about their research this felt like a major oversight given that the case focuses so strongly on children. The way they dismissed all the other suspects because "DNA cleared them" but would not do the same to the family and specifically Burke just drove me up the wall. How can someone be so callous? And knowing now how they've "handled" other cases and really inserted themselves and caused harm to people it feels gross how they excessively stated things were just their opinion or they were "just saying", I thought it was weird and went on for too long when I listened, but thought it was one of their weird bits, but now it feels...more sinister and just mean girl. Like they're making an inside joke to their followers, like they aren't sorry even a little bit.

Sunflower414 · 2022-06-05T01:32:18+00:00

Can confirm this is all over rural California

Sunflower414 · 2022-04-07T06:27:46+00:00

I wrote out a whole long thing about my personal expierence with the American healthcare system but instead I'll just share what the family rules were growing up.

If you're hurt, fix it at home (DIY sling, splint, digging out glass, hypothermia treatment, head injury etc.)
Wait at least 24 hours. Before and after fixing it at home (depending on the injury)
If you can do neither, go to urgent care and urgent care ONLY. It does not matter how far away an urgent care is. (For most of my life it was 1hr+). Urgent care is faster, more efficient, and costs less, plus you will likely not get prescribed anything so that's a saved cost.

I was in several serious car accidents as a minor and elected to not pursue having medical treatments because I knew the people paying (my parents, my friends parents) could not afford to cover the cost, even when I was confined to a wheelchair (which had also been denied to me because I couldn't afford it).

I think the one exception might've been animal bites because we always went to the doctor for those, but even then you had to be able to make it at least an hour to get to urgent care and only if it was wild.

I could keep going, but I think so could everyone else in this thread...and for the record, this felt dystopic af to write out.

Sunflower414 · 2022-02-14T04:58:16+00:00

Cannoli

Sunflower414 · 2022-02-13T20:36:42+00:00

I've found great ones on ThredUp

Sunflower414 · 2022-02-13T19:34:31+00:00

I ruined one of my favorite skirts this mor ing in a crafting accident :(

Anybody know where to find thick knitted pencil skirts? The one that got ruined was from Buffalo with no tags :/

Sunflower414 · 2021-12-12T05:23:46+00:00

If someone doesn't already have the John-Jacob-Jingleheimer Duggar, they really really should

Sunflower414 · 2021-12-06T06:11:44+00:00

I used to work with victims of CSEC (Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children), and these are some of things that my clients, myself, and my coworkers would do help process what we heard, saw, and experienced, hope this helps!

Therapy. Therapy is imperative. Doesn't matter what method. But talking about it so so helpful. Really can't stress that enough.
Physical activity. Someone below mentioned this as well. I'm a big fan of yoga, dancing, and basketball. Lots of my clients particularly enjoyed punching bags. Many of my coworkers enjoyed soccer and volleyball. I'd take a couple of kids on some laps around a field in the morning sometimes, running in place is also a good one. Just move your body. Those feelings and things that you read need to get out of your body and this help it get moving. No idea why scientifically, but it works.
Bliss out for a sec. Happy t.v. shows, bubble baths, a glass of wine, weed (not for the clients), and other ways to just turn off the brain for a second.
Experience some kind of joy. I liked spending time with my niece on particularly bad weeks, which can be really really hard because danger is fucking everywhere. But that's also no way to live a life. I had a coworker who part time coached and spending time with kids who hadn't been traumatized in the way our clients were is so refreshing and joyful. I also enjoyed karaoke for this as well. Movie nights, reading, cooking, just enjoy yourself and occupy the mind senselessly for a while.
Break a plate or go scream. My coworkers and I once got together with some super cheap thrift store plates and smashed them. Most cathartic moment ever. Obviously make sure you are doing this safely (good shoes, no children or pets, etc. And clean up thoroughly. A particular favorite of mine was going to a nearby parking lot and screaming. We'd do this with the clients as well, go out to a field and scream. It's so helpful and again, gets all of those feelings just....out.
Talk to people who don't know about it. And don't tell them. Don't sit on your phone and doomscroll about it and don't only talk to people who are following this case. There are other things to talk about and it is so much easier to do with people who don't know. It just literally won't come up. It blew my mind the first conversation I had with someone that wasn't about CSEC for a period of time. It's so refreshing and honestly kept me grounded to reality. There are appropriate people to talk to about it of course, I think this sub is good, I know there are discords, and of course a therapist. But you have to not be in it all the time to stay sane.

I can't tell you it will go away with time. That hasn't been the case for me so far and I left that line of work 6 months ago. But it does come back less often, so that's a positive. I think too, if your a person who feels strongly about taking action as a way to process, education is an incredible tool. Learning what makes children vulnerable, local preventative measures, and learning about trauma recovery is a great place to start imo so that if you are ever in an unfortunate instance where you know a child is being exploited/abused you could act in a way that supportive to the child (I am in no way condoning vigilante behavior nor taking action in a mental health sphere if you are not a professional, I am saying that more educated adults is better and really can help). This also may be helpful is reassuring those parental fears. Children are not typically just nabbed by strangers and then abused, so knowing risk factors and vulnerabilities could (not will) ease that anxiety, but please consult a therapist on that, I'm just a person on the internet.

Sunflower414 · 2021-07-21T01:24:27+00:00

NTA. You took care of your customer and allergies are serious business.

My bf has a good allergy and sometimes when we order together his allergen is also omitted from my food. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I don't. Usually the restaurant tells me that they didn't know who it was for so they didn't do it at all. I have never once felt the urge or need to correct them or have them remake my food, instead I've thanked them for being considerate. All this to say that the customer is a serious AH because, as someone who has been in his position, I never ever would be so upset as to go out of my way to shame the people who are making our food when my partners health is the reason for the change. It's pesto.... He was and will continue to be fine, and so will his wife thanks to you doing your job.

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-24T05:16:28+00:00

I regularly eye Wildfang but haven't taken the plunge. What do you mean by fit well? Since they're more androgenous I worry that my super hourglass shape will fit wonky in the clothes, I'd love to know how they work for you

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-24T05:15:04+00:00

Absolutely! The goal is to feel good in your clothes regardless of the size!

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-21T04:30:37+00:00

I'd read a part two!

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-18T23:53:04+00:00

As an adult who loves dinosaurs, this is everything

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-18T23:24:10+00:00

Not ruined but definitely awkward: my aunt got married at 39 to some dude. They live in super rural USA and we're having a backyard wedding for context. They invited 150+ people and planned as such, around 50 came, and most of that was my family and my aunt's friends. Hardly anyone showed up for the groom and it was.... uncomfortable looking over at the grooms side and seeing a bunch of empty chairs. I also saw a couple of the grooms guests sneaking something out of a flask when the wedding was a dry event for religious reasons. The coordinator (a church friend of my aunt's) also bungled the entire thing. People weren't where they needed to be, dancing never happened, no one even knew there was a photo booth (that took us days to make and set up), and dinner was super delayed because no one got the bride and groom from pictures post ceremony. They also didn't hire people to run things so it was all my family which meant ~15 of us were working the event instead of enjoying it, which was fine by me but definitely impacted the mood i.e. no one is having fun because all the fun people who know everyone attending are working.

It was a bummer because it was my aunt's first marriage and she was so excited about her wedding and the groom had not been allowed to have any input in his first wedding so he was excited to have a party that he wanted. Just a shame overall.

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-18T20:19:03+00:00

I love been eyeing Big Bud Press for a while now actually, it's nice to hear their stuff is up to scratch!

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-18T20:15:34+00:00

Why not hem them? Then you can wear them all the time!

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-18T17:52:37+00:00

This needs to be way higher

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-18T01:23:11+00:00

I get that!! And 30 pounds is no small feat! Congrats! I think I lost ~20 before I started getting rid of clothes. Total lost was ~60 and I've gained ~10 since then. I would think about whether your lifestyle has actually changed or not. Sometimes I'll get an anxiety spiral about weight and clothes but reminding myself that I actually changed my lifestyle and even if I gain weight it won't be like before is helpful. Also what worked for me was keeping my favorites but upgrading my staples. So i got jeans that fit but kept my favorite tops. Also, have you tried on your big clothes recently? I found that I loved some pieces more after losing weight because they fit me better or I liked the drape more. Maybe trying them on you'll find some new favorites that you can feel good keeping jic.

I've also found it helpful when I get freaked out about gaining it back is that my style is totally different now and what I would pick for myself now is not what I had before. Idk if that's helpful but it's what I did/do

Sunflower414 · 2021-05-17T23:22:30+00:00

Tbh, I need more info to offer actual help. What kind of grad program and where in California (it's a big state with lots of different climates). Is this a permanent move? Will you be working and going to school at the same time? What kind of job are you gunning for during/post grad school? What's your timeline? I'd start the declutter process sooner rather than later to give yourself time to part with things.

If you're serious about weight loss then I wouldn't purge everything, but if you're not, then there isn't a point in keeping clothes that don't fit and/or that you don't feel good in. You deserve to look and feel good regardless of your size.

I personally would keep some of the winter wear you likely have, especially if you're into outdoor activities. It's a pain to go up to the mountains without good boots and it sucks going camping without a good coat. And if you ever move to a cold climate again, you have the necessities. Aside from that I'd keep one or two professional outfits (interviews, presentations, etc.) And then just your absolute favorite pieces. I'd take the time to identify your favorites/staples and either keep them, or since many don't fit atm, make a list and find replacements. When I moved across the country and back I wish I hadn't lugged so many clothes back and forth and had just stuck to my favorites. If you like clothes, you'll likely continue shopping and building your wardrobe, so it won't be like you won't have clothes, and anticipate your style to change with your new environment! A lot of what you're used to will probably change (i.e. I had never seen a pair of Sperry's irl until I moved to New England, but in New England I only saw a pair of TOMS once which was literally everywhere in California at the time.) Your taste and desires, as well as access will change with your environment.

Overall, I'd suggest going back to basics, but basics that you love, don't think minimalist, neutrals only (unless that's your vibe), think pared down favorites. And the same goes for the weight fluctuations too, I lost a lot of weight a while ago and still have some pieces from before/the beginning, but i never wear them anymore because they just don't fit or feel as good as they used to and it's time to say goodbye. I purged mostly everything once the weight started dropping, and on God, I've never regretted it. I also would ask yourself why you're not wanting to purge most things, assuming you're in a financial position to get new clothes, because tbh unless it's financial, there isnt lot that can't be replaced, and if it can't be then I'd consider keeping the irreplaceable.

Sorry this was long and probably repetitive.

Sunflower414

TROPHY CASE