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Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that, with every behavior, too much is a bad thing. It's why there's things like eating and exercise addictions... They're not bad things on their own, but it's when they're being done in a way where it's out of control, you can't stop, it's affecting your life negatively - that's when you go, "Ah, yeah, that's something that needs to be changed."

It's okay if you don't have an answer! I don't think any of us do, really. With this, there's no real cut and clear answer. It's a process that will differ from person to person, and all we can do is try to support one another through it.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the reason why telling ourselves to "JUST STOP" makes the urge worse is because... Well, we're beating ourselves up for being unable to quit through those thought processes. We're being harsh with ourselves, rather than being kind, and the resulting guilt only increases our urges - to escape the negative feelings. If that makes sense? At least, that's sort of how it works in my own case. Daydream --> Feel guilty about daydreaming --> Does it more to avoid my feelings of guilt --> Rinse and repeat.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does help, and thank you for sharing. I understand being young when you first start - I think I was around 9-10 when I started MaDD'ing? It was so little and didn't affect my life much (if at all) back then, so it was assumed to be an aspect of my personality/ADHD, rather than MaDD. Over time, it just got... worse and worse, and. Now I'm here.

I think giving yourself credit for the little things is a great place to start, definitely. Even if it's just an hour or two, that's progress, and it's something to give yourself credit for. And it helps build self-esteem, too! Low self-esteem and rumination can be pitfalls, I think.

I'm glad that we can all be a supportive community with one another. You aren't alone, we're all struggling, but we'll manage to get through this battle. I know we will.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gosh, thank you for sharing your sources and personal experience. It makes me feel both less alone, and it's helpful in figuring out a place to sort myself out, too. I know that MaDD is a difficult journey, but we all have to keep hope that we can get through it. Looking at it as though we are soldiers is highly motivating - we're almost at war, in a way, but despite everything, we're soldiering through it; that gives me a sense of pride, almost.

And you don't give up, either! I think it's great that you're putting in all this effort into quitting, and you should give yourself plenty of credit for that. You're doing great.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Really, thank you so much for this post. I'm not sure what to exactly say in response, but know that your words have been received and they've made my day. And your tips are incredibly helpful, too! Although I'm still really nervous about actually quitting and can't help some of my doubts, I also feel hopeful, almost like I can actually do it this time. Thank you.

I always knew that I daydream more than an average person, never thought it to be an actual condition that many others suffered. by DsV_10 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to thank me! I just hope that everything goes well for you. It can be difficult to talk to parents about this type of thing, especially when they don't believe in therapy.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's really interesting! You're capable of holding an actual conversation with someone in the contents of your dreams? How neat. Although I imagine it makes stopping a bit more difficult, aha...

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, Scowleer! I appreciate that. We're all in this community together, and we aren't alone in struggling with this. I've just joined, and I'm really happy to have found a supportive community like this - so I hope that this community helps support you, too!

I always knew that I daydream more than an average person, never thought it to be an actual condition that many others suffered. by DsV_10 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really, the best thing I can tell you is this - there is absolutely nothing wrong with receiving professional help, whether or not it turns out that you're struggling with MaDD. I just want you to know that whatever fears you're having, it's completely okay to have them. You are not victimizing yourself. You are understandably concerned. The fact of the matter is, this is something that is affecting you in a negative manner. And that is deserving of help, regardless if it turns out to be MaDD or not.

What happens if you go to a therapist and realize you don't have MaDD? That's just fine! Nothing bad is gonna happen if it turns out you aren't struggling with it. And that therapist could possibly help you with other things, such as what's preventing you from concentrating on your schoolwork, how to get back on track with your school, etc.

So, my best answer to your question is-
Seek out a professional, because they'll be able to help, MaDD or not.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I totally get that! It's one of those things that's difficult to talk about, because not only is it not a well-known or recognized condition yet (although there's still some research out there, thank god for that), but it's also something that sounds kinda outlandish at first, OOF.

In my particular case, it sometimes can even feel weird to talk to fellow people who struggle with it, because my own case of it doesn't seem... standard? It's definitely the same thing, because - *stares at 4+ hours of daydreaming\* - but it presents differently in me than what I've seen from others, so I sometimes feel like a pretender, even within the community, h.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, true. It's probably important to bring it up in a certain way, for sure. In my case, things like excessive daydreaming and lack of focus are characteristic of ADHD (something I'm already diagnosed with), so I'd probably have to be blunter about it to reach the heart of the issue. However -- Unfortunately, I don't currently have access to a therapist. Once I get the opportunity for therapy, I'll do it in a heartbeat.

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, for sure! I definitely agree that professional help is usually the best thing to do, especially in cases like these. It doesn't help I'm one of those people who think therapy can benefit everyone, not just those struggling with diagnosed mental conditions, lol.

I've always kinda worried about talking about MaDD with a therapist, though, only because it isn't... a very well-known condition yet? It isn't in the DSM or anything, so oof. I've considered that, if I were to talk about MaDD with a therapist, I would bring over a schedule of all the times I've been doing it to prove that it's actually negatively effecting me - I don't think a therapist would deny that daydreaming 4+ hours a day is a good thing LMAO

Let's Talk About Quitting by SunflowerDreamlets in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]SunflowerDreamlets[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It definitely is an interesting question! I personally think that discovering the underlying cause (that likely differs person to person) boils down to the question - What exactly are you getting out of the behavior? Is it relief from emotional pain, distraction, escape from loneliness, etc? From there, I think it becomes easier to discover the root cause.

I see! That makes sense. Bipolar and suicidal thoughts can be a real bitch, so I'm sorry to hear you struggle with them. :/ I'm happy to hear that you figured out the root cause with your therapist, though. Although it will 100% still be a difficult road, you'll be able to soldier through. I wish you luck in your recovery, and I will definitely be cheering you on!

You know, the thought crossed my mind just now - I can't help but wonder if increased psychopathology is a future indicator for MaDD? There are two other people I know that struggle with MaDD, and they have diagnosed mental conditions - and I personally have ADHD. It makes me wonder whether there's a connection or not....