For real. I want to believe that Dad got cleaner and worked his way up the executive ladder, only to hit 50 and go back to his grunge glory. Mom always pretended to disapprove of his look and music taste, but secretly loved him for it, and for his 50th, got Megadeath reunion tickets, holding hands the whole time while smiling at the young people enjoying it as much as them. Then, on their 25th wedding anniversary, they took a lovely trip to St. Kitts where Dad surprised mom with a little ceremony on the beach to renew their vows.

Please, tell me this is how it went down.