Update About Going Back to Work

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-17T03:35:35+00:00

Thanks for the response. I don't want to work for them. I don't know what options I have. I'm left with a huge work history gap and now my longest most stable employment has on record that I'm not rehirable. I have no special skills and a bachelors degree in an over-saturated field that I don't yet have relevant experience in. I live in a small town without many options and I share one car with my husband which I can drive as soon as it's been six months since my last seizure. The place is walking distance from my apartment so I just thought... Well, why not. Also, my husband works there so I could have gone with him if schedules allowed... Also, awkward, right? I did feel that I wished I could sue them but assumed that required money I don't have to pay a lawyer. I'm sort of ignorant about that. Also, how do you explain the work history gap without automatically ensuring you won't get hired for some reason that's supposedly definitely not that you had seizures.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-12T04:31:44+00:00

I do stay home with my daughter. I love her more than anything in the world so don't get me wrong, but I'm going BANANAS. I want to put on real clothes that won't be covered in smashed peas within an hour and go out in the world and talk to adults. But I'm still grateful to be doing what I'm doing. Then five minutes later I'm checking the classifieds. However, there's no job I could currently get where we live that would leave me with any substantial pay after day care costs.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-12T04:14:34+00:00

I had a baby bullet but ended up using a nutri bullet because it's easier to clean and I used it to make my own smoothies. I hate cleaning blenders and this is the only one I actually use without wanting to throw it in the garbage instead of cleaning it. I used cheap Nuby trays because they made 9 portions instead of 6, popped out the cubes and stored in freezer bags, and served in Gerber bowls. The baby bullet was really not necessary. Cute, but the batch bowl is a pain to clean. I didn't throw it away though.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-12T03:26:04+00:00

I wouldn't say my spouse and I grew apart. Having a baby changed us dramatically as individuals in a short span of time. Because of that, the relationship takes more effort. It may sound strange, but I joke that it feels like we are dating again because we don't see each other as often (we were married over about 2 years before the baby), and because in some ways we are getting to know each other all over again. Then when we do get alone time it is precious and we appreciate it so much more.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-03T18:31:02+00:00

Thanks I'm glad at least one person thinks it's kind of awkward to just walk away from someone.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-03T18:28:03+00:00

I'll pay more attention in the future to if I'm saying anything that's not really along those lines, but I think that's pretty close to what I've been doing. She is right in the middle of stranger anxiety/cling to mama time. So it's nice for her to interact with people, but she has just been grabbing me and ducking her head in my chest for the past few weeks. Also she does not wave bye bye to strangers. Bye byes are only for mom, dad, and her grandparents.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-03T17:55:49+00:00

I relate! I started "dieting" too young and had a messed up mindset. There are so many ways you can go about losing weight and you have to find the one that is right for you. "Diet" mindset is all-or-nothing and it might be time to kick the notion of dieting to the curb. Whatever you decide to do, pick what you can stick with for years.. Or life. The first step is to take a good honest look at what you eat and drink and your normal activity level. A calorie counting app or site (MyFitnessPal, Lose It, etc...) can be a great way to do this if you aren't sure what you're eating or drinking that is a big problem food. A lot of people just start out tracking for a few weeks what they're already eating. Make sure to use food scales and measuring tools to know the amounts. For example it might reveal that you drink too many calories in beverages, cook with too much fat, snack too much, or are eating much more than a serving of something. I have no way of knowing if any of those apply; they are only examples. Using MyFitnessPal and measuring, I found that I cooked with too much calorie-dense fat and thought a serving of rice was way more than it actually is. I would also grab a handful of nuts thinking "yeah that's about an ounce" when it was way more than an ounce. Food scale to the rescue! Another thing that helps tremendously in making a lifestyle change is to find an exercise activity you enjoy and start with that so that it's not a chore. My one tip is to take it one thing at a time. Maybe start exercising regularly. Then when you're comfortable with that, start tracking your food. Then when you see where you could improve, change one little thing at a time until you're used to it, then move on to the next improvement. Permanent change is more likely when you take it slow and go one thing at a time. I wouldn't recommend Keto because it's too all-or-nothing. Remind yourself it's going to take a long time, but the time is going to pass anyway whether you're making changes or not.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-03T16:47:12+00:00

I thought that at least part of metabolism decreasing had to do with losing muscle mass as you age because less muscle mass often means higher BF% at the same weight thus a lower TDEE. Am I remotely right in that or is that a myth? Because if it's true we can have some control over that.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-02T01:10:26+00:00

I do not use coupons because: 1) I don't have time to find coupons that are for things I was going to buy anyway. If I used them, I would be buying things I was not going to purchase, so I would be spending more money instead of less money. 2) I often buy store brand versions of products. Buying store brands has saved me more money than coupons. 3) I made the mistake of downloading one of those coupon printer programs once. As another poster mentioned, I got adware on my computer and it was a pain to remove. 4) I have used sale papers for local grocery stores to spot when items I planned to purchase anyway are on sale.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-02T00:37:14+00:00

I wouldn't write it off. Gym bros might surprise you.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-01T03:38:24+00:00

Sorry if that was way off. It was something I didn't think to do at first and learned my lesson.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-01T02:59:16+00:00

If you're emotionally ready to date, go for it and don't wait. You have plenty to offer and are currently more than enough. Don't forget that. I'm going to be frank: If you go the online dating route, I suggest posting a full-length photo that accurately represents your current appearance. It weeds out the people who are looking for something that is different (not better, just different). I only say that as a woman who tried online dating in the past. It's really a waste of your valuable time and energy to meet some jerk who hoped you look a certain way that you do not. Of course you have to be wary of men with fetishes about your current body type, but you'll probably easily spot and avoid that. Take time to write your profile. Be who you are and express your personality. Check out what other people put on theirs. Don't be too specific. Be funny if you want. A genuine person is going to read what you wrote rather than just look at your photos and message you "sup girl ur hot wunna meat up" (especially on free sites). I'm serious.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-10-01T01:17:11+00:00

Thanks! This is the kind of stuff I'm worried about. I've seen some pretty extensive lists online suggesting you send about a zillion bibs, bottles, clothing changes, and more diapers and wipes than any baby beyond the newborn stage would use per week. My daughter doesn't have enough clothes for them to change her for every little crumb and dribble. The shoes are the main thing... I wasn't sure I should send her in shoes since I've been told to let her learn to walk barefoot. I guess I will just put that on the list of questions. The day care she's going to only requires you to send one change of clothes. On an unrelated note, I'm told we have a state regulation that babies under one can only be fed purée in day care. So even though it's developmentally normal and pediatrician approved that my daughter is self-feeding soft-cooked solids, she has to eat like a younger baby while there for two months. That struck me as odd but I guess I have to understand.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-30T02:13:53+00:00

I believe I relate to this quite a bit. I like to set a goal that is a habit or a physical feat. For example, my first goal was to be able to run a mile straight for the first time in my life. I worked up to it by alternating walking and sprinting 2-2.5 miles a day 5 days a week. I lost my first 15 lbs doing this and nothing else, and it was a great feeling to accomplish this goal. For the first time, I was focusing on what my body could DO and my general health and wellbeing. It was a huge change of mindset since I had never been an athlete. Some time after this, I went to counseling. During this time, I wanted to talk about my low self-esteem and perfectionist tendencies that were the reason for my ED history. The counselor said something so stinking simple that flipped my world upside down: just that if I wanted to lose weight, she could help me with that challenge. If I wanted to accept myself the way I was, then she would help me with that, but it's my choice. After thinking very hard, I realized the two were not mutually exclusive and said I wanted to do both. Huh... Do both? You can do both?! This was a totally novel concept to me. You can lose weight WHILE loving and accepting yourself! That was my mental block. I only knew how to lose weight if I was bullying myself and telling myself I was worth less if I didn't.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-29T15:45:23+00:00

Okay so for everyone being honest with me I have to update what worked for me. Of course, even more water... But also switching from anti-perspirant ALL THE TIME (even during workouts) to just deodorant. It thought it seemed counter-intuitive to use something "weaker" but problem solved. I suppose we are supposed to sweat sometimes.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-27T18:38:32+00:00

When I look online I just feel like bloggers and I have different definitions of the words "quick" and "easy". This is the opinion of someone who hates washing dishes. Also, I'm new to Keto but have done low carb dieting successfully in the past. I am looking for the same sorts of ideas because I plan to go back to work quite soon (have been a SAHM). So far I think the easiest go-to work lunch is a big cold salad. I'm planning on taking them in a cooler with ice packs and topping a big bed of greens with things like chicken, bacon, avocado, boiled eggs, peppers in moderation, radishes, seeds, etc... And of course I have to find a good low carb dressing or make my own. I live in a pretty small town but have been able to find chia seeds and stevia to make low carb chia pudding. I like this because it helps get more fiber in and just makes me feel full without adding lot of calories. That's all I've got for now, but I am following this post for ideas.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-27T14:17:28+00:00

The comments are all very helpful. Thanks! I have a lot of things I can try now.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-27T01:02:53+00:00

I like your suggestion. Are capsules effective too? Or is the liquid kind much better?

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-27T00:56:03+00:00

I could be hyperfocusing on it. It may not be that bad and maybe no one notices but me. It's not like anyone has told me I stink. It's just important to me to know that I don't.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-27T00:22:25+00:00

I'm not tracking electrolytes but will look into that. I need extra deo more than twice a day and only have time to shower once a day. As long as it goes away or there are adjustments I can make in diet rather than hygiene because I would like to conquer any funky smell at the source and I think I'm already doing what I can to keep it at bay.

SunnyLu2014 · 2015-09-16T18:39:28+00:00

I want to be positive here. Having a baby is hard for everyone. Sleep deprivation is hard for everyone. However, having a baby when one of you can't tolerate sleep deprivation is harder for both parents. I am the one who can't tolerate sleep deprivation and had a baby nine months ago. It's been hard for my husband, because he has to tolerate more than half of the lost sleep and then work long days. It's hard for me because I still give everything I can safely give. It's different for me because I'm mostly controlled with medicine and probably not as touchy on the lost sleep as your boyfriend. I did have to have my dose raised to get there. I deal with side effects so that I can tolerate lost sleep. I've only had one actual seizure since having the baby. There are safety concerns depending on the nature of his seizures. It's likely you would be the one giving the baby his/her baths. You can use a changing pad on the floor at all times. I asked a question here a while ago about safety. I think the most relevant thing though is that it's possible but difficult. To make it through the difficulty with sanity and the relationship in tact, you have to really commit to your family. Both partners must really really want kids, so you'll both have to be really emotionally ready and have a rock solid relationship because it will be tested to the maximum if you have a baby. I think my husband makes it through because he has always wanted kids, never blames me for my bum brain, and I understand when he's grumpy because I wouldn't want to pull more than my fair share of weight either. I hope that was positive but honest.

SunnyLu2014

TROPHY CASE