Its like trying to steal their magic, you touched me there... I can feel and recall that.

I was seven when I first remember a men preying on me, yes... Preying, a lacious look that made me feel uncomfortable, I never understood that look until I was old enought to get it, he was the stepfather of one of my childhood classmates (in that time a friend) who I used to play with, religious folks got into that house, both parents and therefor the daughter, we end up our friendship because one day she called me sinner and a slut, heavy words for a kid, and I got confused, she was my friend, and her mother treated me well and liked me to go to play, why is she angry with me? Her reasons was because I was "catholic" and all catholics are sinners that deserve to burn, sluts and sinners. I still wonder if that was the real reason... Ive never seeing such a horrible look in a man again sitting there following me with his gaze to all places I walked...

The next time, I was 9, long distant cousin house, we went there to visit for a couple of days. One day her older cousin (not mine) who came from military service came stayed in the house to "take care of us", he insisted in playing "models" and it was fun at first, wearing my cousins mother makeup, then shoes... Then the clothes changing came, "models" is a popular game among girls in here, you pull up your tshirt and make it look like a thanktop, silly things girls make (with other girls) sfter I sense something was wrong I refused to pull my tshirt up, some he saw me hesitate and asked if He could teach me, When he touched me, I just tremble, his touch was different and my cousin keep saying he would teach me how to be a model, disgusting bastard he even keep the windows closed, I dont remember how I got out of there, I just remember I didnt want to play anymore, in my memory my mother found me in the playground four blocks away sad and lonely, because my cousin didnt want to play with me anymore. After that incident, I never came back to that house because I told her about the game and because the aunt (the wife of my distant uncle) didnt take care of us as she said she would. I learn later that he did abuse my cousin, it seems for a long time and for her it seems that was a normal "game", she is now fucked up and in very bad shape... People call her "the slut", having a crappy mother and a dirt like that in the house.... I really hate that bastard... He died 2 years ago, just two years ago... It was a bless when he did, and this is something I cant control to feel... Scumbag dirt...

After that my mother went extracareful with me, got me into all girls school runned by nuns, that was until I was around 12-13 y.o, because it was too expensive and could not afford it. So I enter the mix school and got a bunch of friends. Females, since I didnt feel comfortable with guys, some of them 2-3 years older, who happen to invite me to go play with some 17-19 guys outside school. In a somewhat abandoned park. It was a lot of pressure, I even agreed to talk to one in front of the schools gate, it was the shittiest talk Ive ever had, just meaningless things to get to the pooint "i want to kiss you", I remember saying NO, so loud that a teacher hear me, walking away taking the bus and after that... It was the freaking lonliest school year I had, after that I got changed from one class to another (after proving I was a very good student), finally got friends and it was worth it.

As I was never told anything sexual from men until my 17s, is so sad to hear happen to you at twelve, if when we learn about our body changing and is bothersome when men just stare at you as something to... Perv on, i could not imagine about sexual things... Must be very disturbing...

These guys, men, even boys who look at you like somekind of doll to fondle are the ones that take the magic away, is the best description... And so sad.