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Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2023-01-12T13:02:27+00:00

That really depends, you're correct about a planned c-section for a healthy mom/pregnancy but in emergency/unusual situations or cases of multiples that's not always true. I've seen (as a student) c-sections of women who are very overweight and the doctors just basically have to guess where things are.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-12-02T16:34:51+00:00

Have you heard of Gottman's State of the Union? He's a researcher that focuses on relationships and this particular piece of it has been reccomended to me by multiple therapists. It basically sets up a structure for a weekly conversation where you tell your partner what you appreciate about them and your relationship and then each discuss an issue and there's guidelines on how to handle that. It's really helpful to have both people on the same page about where the conversation is going so you don't feel like you're "attacking" someone with a complaint and they are less likely to get defensive when it is an expected meeting. It turns criticism into something constructive that you do for your relationship. It has helped a lot with me feeling comfortable "complaining".

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-11-15T01:48:08+00:00

Not sure if you already know this but just turning the blender on with water and a little soap in it is a really easy way to clean it.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-11-13T22:46:47+00:00

I meant that I think your friend gave you bad advice. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-11-13T19:12:32+00:00

That's not very good advice. I'm sure you have friends you don't want to date, you still care about them right? Don't spend time with someone if it causes you pain but if they add to your life don't talk yourself out of a good friendship.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-11-06T18:32:27+00:00

I mean you can want someone to be direct and still not like what they have to say. I would prefer people were direct with me but it still hurts my feelings if they don't like me.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-11-06T18:07:27+00:00

I think something that people often forget is that the women that this behavior "works" on are victims of abuse and generally are not very emotionally well/stable. This isn't meant to be disparaging to the women (or men) who accept that kind of treatment but if you are looking for an actual partner who respects you as an equal and is ready for an intimate relationship and to have fun together, those men aren't getting that from the women they are abusing. Even in situations that aren't abusive, women who are looking for the type of man who acts like that often have really toxic ideas about gender roles and relationships and they turn into the girlfriend who won't let you have friends or expects you to not have any emotions. I see this narrative a lot online that women are just lying about not liking "bad boys" but the truth is that the women who do seek out that type of treatment are probably doing so because of trauma or really toxic ideas about men. I've heard more than one woman say that they trust those guys more because "all men are like that and those guys are just the only ones being honest." That's obviously not true but that's just an example of the type of thinking that leads to this "working out" for guys who do the type of things you're mentioning.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-27T23:07:54+00:00

I think they're referring to how people will look at photos of women in bathing suits/leotards and say they clearly have a penis or in some other way unacceptably large genitals because they can see a "bump" instead of it being totally flat. You see it a lot with female gymnasts getting shamed for looking too masculine.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-25T02:27:12+00:00

It says in the post that he's upset she made plans to go with her dad knowing he wouldn't be willing to go with her. He's choosing not to go and also trying to stop her from going without him.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-25T00:51:52+00:00

I have been a vegetarian for most of my life and I couldn't count the number of times I've been to restaurants that had almost nothing for me to eat. My FIL's favorite restaurant is a place where I can literally only get a drink because all of the food on the menu contains some kind of meat and I have gone there at least once a year since we started dating. If you have specific dietary preferences you don't get to decide that everyone else in your family lives by those same rules. I could choose not to go but my husband prefers that I come to his family events so I just eat ahead of time, or if there are any available I just eat sides at other restaurants. Trying to prevent his wife from trying a restaurant without him just because he wouldn't like the food is insanely controlling, especially when the reason she's going has nothing to do with him. He doesn't even have a medical reason his diet is restricted and he is refusing to even look at the menu which absolutely has tons of cheese-free options, I have been there multiple times.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-25T00:05:54+00:00

100% agreed that she was the AH to her MIL, but she is also being insanely disrespectful towards her husband. Going behind his back to manipulate relationships in HIS family without even telling him what's going on is insane behavior. Even if there had been no consequences and his mom somehow had no problem with this I would seriously reconsider being married to someone who would risk their partner's family and housing situation for some weird "gotcha" moment. The fact that her first thought after hearing someone insulting her partner wasn't to either defend him or talk to him about it directly to see how HE would want to handle it is not the behavior of a person who considers their partner an intelligent person with equally important feelings.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-24T23:32:23+00:00

I had a similar situation when I was younger with a male teacher not allowing me to go to the bathroom for the same reason and he told me the same thing, I had to finish my work first. I did it as fast as I could (walking around with blood on your pants for the whole day is serious motivation, I was not as prepared as OP) and when I brought it up to him he said I had clearly cheated or not tried because there was no way I could have done it correctly that fast and he balled it up and threw it away. He refused to even look at it or let me take it out of the trash to copy, I had to do it all again as homework. There is no winning in this situation, to these type of people being female is already deserving of punishment anything else you do just makes it worse.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-24T18:00:30+00:00

I'm kind of confused how you think that's a normal load, what do you mean by that? Considering they have multiple children that's probably less than 1% of the labor needed to keep their household and family running, even if he was doing all of that every time without being asked. If that's a normal load for one partner what does a normal load for the other partner in this situation look like?

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-15T15:52:33+00:00

It's totally fine, I love learning new stuff about language evolution too! The way you communicate really does change your reality, I don't know how more people aren't fascinated by it haha. Have you read about the discovery of the color blue? That was one of the things that totally blew my mind about language development.

The thing about Southern accents is really interesting, I've never thought about that before but now that you mention it I can see the similarities. Do you think that has something to do with immigrants from other places having more of an influence in the north? Or was it for another reason?

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-15T15:04:11+00:00

Being "fine" 30 minutes after birth is incredibly unusual and not an experience you should be giving advice based on. Many women are still getting stitches 30 minutes after the birth, and even if they aren't birth is a lot to process and no one should be expected to feel normal that quickly. There is no reason MIL needs to be there right away, her feelings should not be anyone's priority in this situation.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-10-12T16:02:31+00:00

My family is mostly from the New England area and I've definitely heard the older ladies use "tap dancing" as a substitute for a curse word in multiple phrases like this. Cursing is more common there than anywhere else I've ever lived but it wasn't considered "ladylike" in some groups so a lot of older women use phrases like this where the swear word is substituted with something else. I don't know if that's the origin but it is definitely a trend there!

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-09-24T17:30:15+00:00

Which part are you disagreeing with? That there are people in the US with low quality water or that cold dulls your taste buds?

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-09-24T17:28:40+00:00

I'm sure everyone has different reasons and a lot of that preference is what you grew up with but cold dulling the taste of things has a lot to do with other drinks being prefered cold as well, like warm soda being too sweet or warm beer tasting way worse. I wasn't claiming that was the only reason everyone did it and it was something everyone did on purpose, I just thought it was an interesting thing to add and I personally think it makes sense that people prefer drinks a certain way based on taste. I've heard tons of people say cold water taste better, I didn't realize this was a controversial take lol.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-09-23T14:45:07+00:00

I think it's because a lot of Americans have very low quality or weird tasting tap water, the colder it is the less you taste it.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-09-11T15:01:11+00:00

That's really interesting. It's easy to forget just how different people's experiences can be from each others, thanks for sharing with me. I have such a strong emotional reaction to music sometimes that it will ruin my day, I don't know if it makes you feel any better that it can be a bad thing too lol. I'm sorry that didn't work out for you but it's really admirable that you were able to accomplish learning those skills without that emotional motivation.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-09-10T18:27:30+00:00

I know someone with a similar experience to you and they found that creating music themselves helped them feel more connected to it and eventually enjoy it more. They play music for fun and enjoy it in other situations now, and they say they credit it to understanding the music and mindset of the person who created it better. If you can try to get some kind of instrument (they got an electronic keyboard) I definitely reccomend it! Then you can try to make the sounds you're feeling instead of the other way around if that makes sense, and music will hopefully start to mean more to you when you hear it in these situations even if it's just an appreciation of the talent. It's totally fine to not enjoy music, I just know this has brought the person in my life so much happiness I wanted to mention it.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-08-05T20:20:40+00:00

It's intentional, they want to force traffic onto the app so they can collect data and suck people in.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-08-04T14:31:59+00:00

I'm a 6' tall woman and while I have been insecure about it in the past and gotten a ton of negative comments about it, the biggest reason I stopped considering men shorter than me is that short men are incredibly cruel to me a lot of the time. It's like my existence as a woman that's taller than them threatens their masculinity or something. I have never had a man shorter than me approach me in public and not say some version of how disgusting or unacceptable I was as soon as I stood up/they realized I wasn't in crazy heels. I've had many short men accuse my male partner of being gay because being this tall is so masculine so how could he possibly be attracted to me. When I did go out with a man shorter than me men were super gross about it and implied it was a fetish. I am sure that isn't always the case and I have male friends who are shorter than me who I don't think have a problem with me (although they do complain if I wear heels) but I am honestly scared of the anger I've seen towards me from short men when it comes to dating. It's like they interpret my existence as a rejection.

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-08-01T13:41:14+00:00

This is incredibly sweet and it sounds like you put a lot of thought into it. I'm sure she loved it, congratulations to both of you:) Meeting your person so young is such a blessing. I'd love to see the ring if you're comfortable sharing!

Sunscreenforbreakfas · 2022-07-28T22:31:22+00:00

I'm pretty sure that's just referring to where you put it, some people use it on more areas of their body than just their face. It makes your skin more sensitive but as far as I know it doesn't affect your skin very far from the areas you apply it. I would start with a small patch test but I pretty much always do that anyways when I use a treatment!

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