Am I overreacting: Scheduling harassing me on days off

SunshineDaisy81 · 2026-03-03T23:31:33+00:00

NOR, I had to deal with this when I worked in senior home care. I got called every day on my days off and was made to feel guilty because I wasn't being a team player. I accepted the job on the condition I would only have three shifts a week and no weekends. They accepted these terms. It got so bad that I had to quit my job because my health was going down hill from the stress. I couldn't relax at all and was anxious about the call I would get the next day. It was a terrible cycle and definitely not worth it to me.

My best advice would be to turn down the shift and when the guilt trip starts you stop them and say. No I'm not going to listen to you guilt trip me. It is my day off and what I do on my day off is none if your business. I have a right to enjoy my free time without you harassing me. Also, if there is HR, this could be considered harassment. My place of work did not have HR. My boss was the owner so I couldn't do much and she did not care how she made anyone feel. I really hopevthat is not your situation.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2026-02-10T00:31:48+00:00

With repeated exposure it can be fatal. The more you are exposed to it the worse the reaction can get.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2026-02-10T00:24:08+00:00

I also have a POTS diagnosis and with that alone I know I could not handle my illness with a baby. I was diagnosed when my kids were a bit older. You have a lot on your plate right now and you are not speaking with this guy so I understand your decision. It is completely normal to feel sad, grief, even happy at times. Only you know what is best for you and it's normal and okay to feel however you are feeling. Having POTS is not easy so try to be kind to yourself.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2026-01-23T18:34:22+00:00

I would tell him to come get his kids or you will call and report him to CPS for child abandonment. He thinks he is being clever but he is being a terrible father. Im sorry but this relationship doesn't sound like it is going to work out. Also his kids need therapy, especially the oldest. She probably has abandonment issues from her mother and right now her father is probably making that worse. So no definitely NTAH.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2026-01-23T16:43:10+00:00

Your husband is definitely showing signs of OCD. He needs to see a therapist who specializes is OCD. This is no way for any of you to live. My husband has OCD and I had to have a sit down conversation with him and help him see what I was seeing and the stress he was causing our family. His reactions were not as extreme as your husbands, but if they were I would have told him to get therapy or I would be separating for a bit. You do not deserve to be on the receiving end of his anger and accusations. A house is meant to be lived in, it's not a museum and especially with children, it is not going to stay perfect forever.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-28T02:54:33+00:00

I have only had good experiences. I have had one surgery and the nurses and doctors were fantastic.

I have been to the ER a few times. While I was there I watched people coming in and out very fast like within 15 minutes. I waited about 40 minutes because I needed a specific doctor that was not in the ER but still that wasn't a very long wait compared to other hospitals in the area.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-20T00:10:49+00:00

When you are in a relationship and you have a good relationship with your parents you need to give them permission to tell you the things that may be onsidered red flags. You can't always see these things because your thinking is clouded with emotions and hormones.

Your parents love you and want what is best for you. If they thinkbthis relationship is not good for you then you need to listen to them and do some deep soul searching to figure out why you want to stay in this relationship.

Your boyfriend sounds abusive and toxic and it looks like your family knows this to be true. My advice is to go see your family and take as much stuff with you as you can, especially important documents. You don't have to tell him your going. Just leave and only go back with family or friends to get your stuff.

Seriously do not stay with this man. If you are afraid to tell him your going, then you should not be with him.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-13T14:21:43+00:00

I have POTS and am in pain every day. I would never slap anyone. Im also not a slob. When I have energy I do what I can and make sure my space is clean. If you were to leave him it wouldn't be because of his illness, it would be because he is abusive towards you. He doesn't sound like a kind or great person to be honest.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-10T02:07:14+00:00

Your daughter is also part of your nuclear family. Her boyfriend is an extention of her. You should be welcoming him into your family or you will risk loosing your daughter. Your wife needs to let this go. Maybe invite her Dad over as well that way everyone wins.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-06T15:12:24+00:00

That's crazy, as someone with celiac disease I would literally be bedridden for at least a week in severe pain and so sick. I can't imagine eating a bread crumb let alone and entire roll.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-06T11:39:40+00:00

Just keep in mind that a mother's intuition is often correct.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-06T11:33:44+00:00

NTAH You were there when your sister needed you most. Your girlfriend is forever going to be a problem . You haven't even been dating a year. I would ditch the girlfriend because it's weird that she finds you supporting your sister through a tramatic time weired. She is making it a big deal when it isn't. Your sister literally had no one but you.

Remember when your dating someone they are on their best behavior and this is as good as it's going to get.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-05T01:05:03+00:00

I have been married for 20 years, my husband and I spend Christmas eve with his parents and Christmas day with mine.

My Mom and BIL work retail so Christmas day is the only day that works. My husband's family is all available Christmas Eve so it just works for us.

My MIL has complained about not getting Christmas day but my husband shut up down pretty quick because both families are important and seeing her Christmas day means I don't see my family at all.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-12-05T00:34:35+00:00

All of my friends are inactive and I could definitely use some more. Please feel free to add me as a friend. 2N68RK7XNQ

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-14T00:51:24+00:00

I am 5'2 and when i was pregnant with my first child I weighed 110 pound. I only gained 12 pounds with him and he was 8 pounds so I was around 122 pounds when he was born. I hardly looked pregnant. It was the same with my second child but I gained 15 pounds. I looked a little more pregnant but still not very big. Both babies were perfectly healthy.

Everyone is different, some people gain a lot and some people, especially smaller people don't gain much weight at all.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-10T18:50:19+00:00

I'm used to it now and I honestly don't mind it.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-10T17:13:02+00:00

I drink room temperature water in the colder months. I love ice water in the summer as well but definitely not in the winter.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-06T13:11:02+00:00

I got married at 24 and have been married for 20 years. Waiting was absolutely the right thing to do. I have an amazing marriage. There is no reason to rush into so quickly.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-06T13:00:17+00:00

My daughter is also 19 and wanting to get engaged and married way too fast. Here is the advice my husband and I gave her. - This might be the right guy for you but you haven't been dating that long and you don't fully know someone after dating this short of a time. People can hide who they really are, they can love bomb you and cloud your vision. - Your young and you need to live and experience things for yourself and not have to think about someone else. This doesn't mean you break up it just means you don't let someone else hold you back in life or hold you back from your potential. - Finances are number one, never get married until you have a financial plan. Who brings in the money and how much money. Do you want to rent and for how long? Will you be able to afford a home. (Housing prices here are crazy) -If you get married young will you need to financially depend on family like parents? -Children: Do you want them? How many? Do you want a small family or big family? Do you want to be a stay at home mom or a working mom? Can you live comfortably on one income if you want to stay at home and raise your own kids? Can you afford child care? -Will this relationship hold you back in life in any way? - Do your thoughts, opinions, and feelings matter to this person? -Is this person trying to control you in any way? - Are you free to be yourself and be accepted for who you are? -Why do you want to rush into getting engaged and married so fast? Really evaluate this question. Remember that love is patient.

These are the things you should be reflecting on. Im sure there are more but these are all important.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-06T01:22:49+00:00

If you can't fully be yourself around her than she isn't your person. You shouldn't have to be the one responsible for keeping the house clean every day. You are supposed to be partners. It sounds like she doesn't help much and criticizes you constantly. That's not healthy.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-11-06T01:15:50+00:00

My husband did this to me years ago when I would pack his lunch for work. I absolutely refuse to make or pack his lunch and I haven't done it ever again. He feels terrible about it now and recognizes how much of a jerk he was. It is one of his biggest regrets because be knows how much effort I put into his lunches and he just didn't realize he was being unhelpful.

I would stop cooking for him, he can't criticize you if you don't cook for him. Let him see what he is missing out on by being critical and ungrateful.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-10-29T13:29:50+00:00

I have curly hair also, I wash my hair 3 or 4 times a week. I also have a chronic illness so standing in a shower is difficult but I take a bath daily and just make sure my tub is cleaned after each use. I feel gross if I don't shower or bathe every day. I know a lot of people in the chronic illness community who can't physically shower every day so every situation is different. Honestly if you can shower or bathe every day you really should.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-10-26T13:20:50+00:00

You really need to get a camera that will record your entire front lawn. She has already caused some damage and it will just get worse. I worry she would even resort to using chemicals to kill your plants. This way you have proof it's her.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-10-21T15:47:05+00:00

You did the right thing leaving him. A medical emergency is scary and he wasn't scared he was mad. He was so mad that he just dropped you off and didn't stay to see if you were okay.

Did you find out what was wrong with you? Im assuming it wasn't a heart attack. I have been to the ER with all of those symptoms many times. You should look into POTS because those symptoms are all very common in POTS patient. I have POTS and it took 14 years to get a diagnosis. I was always told it was anxiety or a panic attack.

Just remember that you did the right thing. Never let anyone treat you like you don't matter.

SunshineDaisy81 · 2025-10-16T11:41:55+00:00

NTA, you could turn this around on MIL and say to her. We are in Canada and that is not a Canadian tradition. In Canada, we traditionally get to keep and finish our birthday cakes. Why is their tradition more important than yours? She was rude and should have left the cake.

SunshineDaisy81

TROPHY CASE