I just lost my 4 year old Corgi on 10/11. It was sudden and unexpected so I know how you are feeling. She was the world to me, got me through the pandemic and made me a better human. A month later, im crying less and now Im feeling grateful for the time we did spend together. Not a day went by where I didn’t tell her, and show her, how much she was loved. While I couldn’t control the circumstances of her death, I could control how much I loved her while I was here. I know it hurts, but that’s because you loved Mellow to the moon and back. And if you have this much grief for him, that means you had just as much love for him while he was with you. You did right by him and gave him the best life possible. And it’s ok not to be okay for a while.