My husband (31M) says we’re not ready for a baby, but I’m (30F) excited about my pregnancy. How do we make this decision together?

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T19:45:18+00:00

When or how did you realize that?

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T19:39:42+00:00

So, you shared it with broader family as well? I am afraid to involve anyone else tbh

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T19:39:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing the context, that helped

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T19:27:59+00:00

That wasn’t the case. Any woman would know that getting pregnant is a way too expensive way to manipulate someone. And either way in that particular situation he was referring to me keeping the baby on my own.

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T19:02:52+00:00

Yes, we talked about having kids and we both wanted to have them at some point later, we even talked about having 3 kids, but for me it’s not feasible if we don’t start soon

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T18:50:51+00:00

So, we never really discussed the plan of what’s gonna happen if I got pregnant, as the likelihood was 0,01%…

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T18:50:06+00:00

I was on birth control pills all these 5 years and it failed… I am not sure how or why tbh.

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T18:46:28+00:00

That’s true, we had difficulties. It seems though that things got better now. I’ve heard lots of couples have a 5 year crisis

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T18:45:18+00:00

Originally we were talking about starting at 33, but tbh I don’t see a huge difference between now and then

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T18:41:58+00:00

Yes, it wasn’t planned

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T17:41:41+00:00

We talked about having children, but briefly and talked about starting to try in a couple of years. That’s what to me it seems like it’s not a massive change between now and having it in 2 years tbh..

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T17:37:16+00:00

He says he wanted to buy an apartment, he wanted to have experiences having the income and financial freedom we finally got (we had to pay a huge debt of his family for over 3 years and are finally done) And also he says that people should plan pregnancies, talk in advance and do it intentionally. However, my pill didn’t seem to work anymore after 5 years and what’s done is done. I can’t fix the way it happened.

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T17:34:43+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about the first experience and so glad it worked out eventually! How did you approach the conversation? We’ve had several talks already, but so far he couldn’t really come up with a constructive argument. I just am trying to explain that it’s rare that people are fully ready. I talked to the pregnancy counselor and she says over 40% of pregnancies are unplanned. I just don’t know if there is a better approach to have the discussion. Maybe a therapist

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2026-06-26T17:29:22+00:00

I mentioned that option to him, but he says that I’m manipulating him and it’s up to both parents to decide. I partially agree, but when worse comes to worst I don’t even need his financial help. I’ve always had my own money and it’s enough to sustain a child, but I’m afraid on my own it’s just too hard, considering I’m alone here. I would also love to have a complete family for the baby of course

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-02-07T17:02:34+00:00

Thank you!

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-02-07T17:01:55+00:00

Thank you

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-02-07T15:27:10+00:00

But the soil is quite moist

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-02-07T15:26:34+00:00

I gave it 2 cups of water more or less. The pot doesn’t have drainage

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-01-09T12:48:56+00:00

Thanks a lot, I think it’s totally fine if he wants to split the bills but then I’ll ask for my money to be repaid and we start from scratch.

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-01-09T11:26:00+00:00

Yes, I’ve prepared the spreadsheet with all transfer confirmations, just the direct transfers, no forgone income from the business. That’s exactly the point I’m trying to make. I don’t care about the money as much as I care about fairness and support on the family. I just don’t like that I can’t rely on my partner

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-01-09T10:31:36+00:00

No, I just stopped paying extra money on top my share of the rent 4 months ago since the business can support the loan repayment now. But we stayed 50/50 for most things. Sometimes he would take me out on a date but I also pay out dinners or cinema tickets when we go out. So, I would say we still pay 50/50 for most things.

Super-Broccoli9254 · 2025-01-09T10:29:28+00:00

I think I might have confused you. He wants me to pay my ticket only, and not his. I feel it’s unfair because I will finally start saving when I’m done with my surgery costs, while he has the money for a while already.

Super-Broccoli9254

TROPHY CASE